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Pregnant and dont think i am in love with my boyfriend..
I am 23 years old and Me and my boyfriend were together about a month when i found out i was pregnant(with my first)I am now 12 weeeks along and things are not looking good. We have been arguing and i catch him in little lies about stupid things. Which makes me wonder if he lies about other bigger things. I dont think i am in love with him but i am afraid to break up cause i don't want my kid to not have a father.. I only say this because he has a daughter already that he never goes and sees of make an effort to be a good father. Is staying with someone for a baby a bad thing or am i stressing about nothing??
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It is lovely that you care so much about your baby and that you want her to grow up with a father. But, you shouldn't stay with him.
I think staying with him would be a bad idea. Once the baby grows up, she/he will always hear you two fight. Thats not an environment you want your baby to be in.
If you leave him, your child can still see him. You can have joint custody or whatever you decide. Your child will have a much better life, if your happy, and I don't think you can be happy when your with him.
Good Luck, and congratulations on your child. :0
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Find someone that will care about your baby doesnt necesarily have to be him all that baby needs is love if he shows that he will care for that baby give him a chance but if not then let him go you and your baby are worth more.
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You can not make a man be father no matter what and I know a woman who plays the role of both parents to her 3 beautiful daughters. You cant stay with someone just because of the child. You have to think of your self and how you feel. My husband has lied to me over and over again and it still hurts and no i dont think hell change and he is at his last chance with me and honestly 80 precent of the time I am not happy. but i love my husband and i hope of one day he will change. I dont wish my situation on anyone if you dont love him seperate and maybe hell step up and do what he can to get you back and make you happy.
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Thanks everybody for your answers. I think i knew what i need to do its just always good to get some unbiased opinions.
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I agree with Solid
If this guy isn't a father to the child he already has, It probably won't be any different with yours. You have to think about the child, If you two argue and you can't see it going anywhere then end it. If you two stay together for the sake of being together and not out of love...It will only hurt in the long run.
Lets remember a few things...
It IS possible to raise a child alone, There are many single parents who have successfully raised a child. Sure, It won't be no walk in the park but always remember anything is possible as long as you put your mind too it.
Yes, There is help out there. You can get that from the state. There are also support groups for new Mom's.
Option 3: Adoption however this is a personal choice you would have to make on your own.
IF, Your boyfriend does not put the effort into paying child support this is where you take him to court.
You shouldn't have to sacrifice your happiness to be in a relationship that is not going to go anywhere. Remember, There are many other guys out there for you. If he can't grow up and be a man then DUMP HIM.
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This seems to be how he operates. His ex-girlfriend who has a child by him went through the exact same crap. If he's not interested in being involved with that child you can bet he won't with yours.
Hon, if you are absolutely miserable with this guy and constantly in fights END IT. It will be difficult to do so but you must for the welfare of yourself and the baby.
There's no reason your baby can't have a father. He can always have an arrangement for seeing his child and that's good enough. That's what sounds best for all.
Also, if you end up with another man which you undoubtedly will that person can be more of a father figure than this guy ever could. Think positive and move on from him.
I know your family will support that and that all will work out fine but he is indeed dead weight and an inconsiderate lout that won't change as it's a pattern with him from girl to girl. You shouldn't and can't put up with his crap.
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I think for your situation it could be a bad thing
because you don't think your in love with him anymore and you can't trust him your doubting him
i don't think your stressing over nothing you have
every right to stress with your boyfriend's behavior and how he's acting unless your willing to
tolerate his behavior then stay with him for your
child's sake but if you aren't willing to tolerate
it then break up with him ultimately it's your decision do what you think is right for both your
sake and your child's he shouldn't be lieing to you
he should be truthful and honest you shouldn't have
to go through him putting you through that you don't
deserve that if things don't improve i'd break up
with him(:
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If he isn't making the effort with his first kid, why do you think staying in an bad relationship with him will magically mean he makes an effort with your child?
Sometimes it's worth it to stay with someone, work through your problems, and be a family unit.
Do you think this guy is worth it? Do you think he'll be a good partner or father at some point in the future? Do you have any good reason to think that might happen?
Having a child with a man who doesn't treat his first child well was never a great plan. I think you might want to seriously think about taking an opportunity to try and make a better one.
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