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my teacher (ex-teacher) and relationship boundaries
So, I had this band teacher in jr high. Everyone thought something was going on between us but I was 13, 14, 15 when I had him and he was 22, 23, 24 so it was an unlikely thought. People thought this because he would bail me out of classes that I didn't want to go to. He would also bail me out of the class before the class I had a test in so he would help me study in his office, he would always call me my first and last name, never just my first. He would also let me call him by his first name but when someone else did, he told them it wasn't okay. One time I had gotten a musical part down that I have been practicing a while and in lessons, it was me, the teacher and my friend, my teacher and I sat next to eachother while my friend sat 3 seats away, so when I got this part down I had accidentally smacked his thigh and he didn't make my move my hand. Now, I am 16, a junior in high school and I visited this teacher today who is now 25. He was by far my favorite teacher, I always felt so close to him and I relate to him so well. My friend walked into his office and said she had a late christmas present for him and a few minutes later she asked how he liked his present and he said "I love my fantastic present." When we talked, we looked into eachother's eyes, he took my phone out of my hand and when our hands touched, he lingered there for a minute. He also didn't pay much attention to my friend who was in there with me. We hugged when I left, he asked how I got to see him and when I told him I walked he said he felt very honored that I walked through the cold for him. He said he missed me a lot and he said his door is always open, I can visit whenever I want. I told him I will come back and my friend said his face brightened up so much. I wouldn't mind being with him.. I mean, he's cute haha but I won't pursue it. I just wrote this to see if we're attracted to eachother and to see if we are maybe over the student teacher boundary. Please don't answer and tell me I'm wrong or a bad person, just tell me what you think of the boundries. Thanks.
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There is a 9 year difference in age between you two and you are a minor. You are infatuated by him and he is in a position of authority over you as a teacher. Even if his attention towards you are that strictly of a teacher, yours towards him place him in real danger.
Your teacher would lose his job if anyone should report what you seem to feel is a relationship between you two. The school system would have to report this to the police and he could be charged with statutory rape. Sexual knowledge of another person is not required for a statutory rape charge. There is the relationship that you profess their to be and the difference in age. He can also be charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
These are two very serious felony charges that carry long prison sentences. If you respect this teacher you will have no further contact with him until after you graduate.
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I agree with both columnist below
Let it go, The teacher is acting very inappropriately. You are 16 years old, You are a minor. Keep your distance, Don't go and visit him again. Your ex teacher is putting his career at risk by harassing his former/students.
Here are the facts...
It is wrong, 100% wrong and you should know that. Your teacher is creepy, If he tries to pull something again report him.
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I'm with Raz on this one. Your questions are starting to look creepy and I don't know if you're just young, or if its something more serious. Regardless, back off from this ASAP. Not only can you get yourself in a lot of trouble, you can get HIM in SERIOUS trouble. Give up the fantasy of the two of you and don't spend any more time alone with him, before something you never saw coming happens.
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I'm guessing you've asked this question at least three times now.
You really need to start letting this go. It's going to harm your ability to create real relationship, with a romantic peer.
This guy is living rent free inside your head, for no real reason.
I'll say the same things I've said to you before (even though, each time you ask this question, you frame your past together in more and more intimate terms. It's like in your imagination each time you think of this more seriously, and more intimately than you did the last time you asked about it...).
Some boundaries were crossed. Probably due to his inexperience. It's not wrong or evil, but you seriously need to let it go and stay away from him. He is behaving inappropriately, and everyone can tell that you want to encourage that inappropriate behavoir.
You're a minor. He's a teacher. If I'm right about your earlier questions, he is also married with a child. You need to let this fantasy go. Now. It's getting a bit sick and twisted. No matter what his thoughts or feelings are, you need to take control of your own. You are out of line, and this is beginning to look like obsession. You need to control your imagination, and stay away from him.
Stop playing these 'What if?' games. It's not fair. It's not productive. It's not kind to either of you.
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So that isn't you? Too bad you can't contact that girl and ask her how's she is dealing eh?
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