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My teacher.
Uh, I have asked this question numerous times to try and get answers for my problem. So, here it is again. I am fifteen and female.
This goes back to Jr high when I was in 7th (12 yrs.), 8th (13 yrs.), and 9th grade (14 yrs). I am in band and this is relating to my relationship with my Jr high band director. He was and still is an amazing guy. People, my peers and some of his other students really questioned the relationship we had. I always just saw it as him being a father figure to me. I trusted him and he was always there for me. Always. To help you decide, I will name a few things about our relationship and you tell me what you think..
-In the beginning of school I didn't really care about my looks and when I started getting older and caring more about my appearance, he notices immediately and he commented that my hair looks different and that he likes it.
-I would be in a lesson with him and he would allow me to stay after and miss a little bit of my next period to help him set up seats and stands for practice with the whole band.
-If you teach band or orchestra, you also teach a music class, he would let me sit in on his music classes and listen to what he has to say or if I didn't have anything to do in study hall, he would let me sit in on his classes and play on his computer.
-At the end of ninth grade, all of the ninth graders got a trophy for completing band and we hugged when I gave him mine.
-One time in practice I got excited because I got the hardest piece down and I put my hand on his thigh in excitement, not to make move or anything, I was just so happy. He didn't move my hand, he listened to what I had to say.
-He would always call me by my first and last name so I told him one time I was going to call him by his first name and I started doing it and he didn't mind. But when my friend tried doing it he would tell her that she can get in trouble for doing it.
-If I didn't like a class, he would write me a pass to get out of gym or something to go down and practice.
-I would intentionally be late for classes by stopping in bathrooms and checking my hair and stuff, the bell would ring and I would walk down to his office and he would just look at me at his desk and say "(first and last name) late again?" and I would shake my head yea and he would write me a late pass. Always.
-I don't live far from school, so after Sr high band practice, I would walk home and hear the Jr high band practicing, so I would walk in and listen to them and he'd introduce me and let me sit in and listen to them and help the young'ins out if they need it.
-If my clarinet had a problem, he would let me go into his office and into his desk to look for the tool I needed to fix it. He also let me take reeds without paying, when he made the rest of the students pay a dollar for each one they took.
-His office is right smack dab in the music hall suite and he always kept his door shut to keep the practicing instruments out and I would go in and talk to him about random things when I was bored and the door would always be shut and kids would walk by making kissy faces.
-He had since become a father when I left for the Sr high, while I was still a student of his, he and I would joke around that whenever the special day comes that he would be blessed with a bundle of joy that he is going to have a girl, they're going to name it after me and she was going to grow up exactly like me. He always joked back that he would put her up for adoption if that were to happen.
-Sometimes when band would let out, I would be sitting on the sidewalk waiting for a ride and he would always always always made sure I had a ride before he left.
-My mom said that if I ever had this kind of relationship with any other teacher, she would be worried.
-Lastly, this might just be me but I feel like every time he made a joke, he would look over at me to see if I was laughing.
I am sorry it is so long, it's just, since the show Pretty Little Liars, people from Jr high have been texting me "wow, Aria and Fitz are a lot like you and.. who? (;" Please tell me what you think of our relationship. Don't tell me to put it behind me, that he isn't my teacher anymore so I shouldn't worry about it because I still see him when I go to help out the Jr high kids. I need answers, I don't care how long. Thanks!
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I've seen you ask this question before, I can't recAll if I answered it before.
I completely agree with the people below me.
You know why I think you keep askingthis question, is because you don't like what your hearing. I think you want so badly for soneone to say "yes he is inlove with you go abd tell him how you feel!"
I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure nobody is going to tell you that. I've had the same experience that you had. But, I knew not to think anything of it. Teachers have favorites. Plenty of teachers act like this.
Also think of it this way, how old are you right now? 16? There is like an 11 year age difference between you and the teacher. Would you ever consider dating a 5 year old? I hope not. Could you like the five year old like a brother or son? Sure. But not as a lover. That is the way he feels towards you. Don't try to say it's tottally different, it's not. There is a huge maturity level between a 24 year old And a 13 year old. Even you have to admit, you've changed A lot since you were 13. Imagine how much you'll change in maturity when you reach age 24. Sure, it slows down. Butthere is still a big difference between an adult and a teenager.
I'm sorry but I don't think he feels the way you wished he feels. And I'm pretty sure a bunch of middle schoolers aren't good people to rely on.
I would just continue to act the way you always do.
Find a boy in your age range. Good luck:)
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Agreed. He's young, he's still learning to be the best teacher he can. Anything that you might have thought of as 'flirting' could very well be just proffesional inexperiance on his part. You don't see him that much anymore, he's much older then you, and he's married with a kid on the way. Do NOT pursue this 'relationship' because I doubt very seriously that he would just throw away his career and family. Leave it alone and find a boy your own age.
-Jess 16/f
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You need to stop.
Although you still see him from time to time, it's time to let this go.
I've already given you my opinion on your earlier question. Yes, I feel you crossed normal student/teacher bounderies, but it was probably harmless inexperience on his side and awkward friendship, nothing more. He was a new teacher and was discovering his role. You were a keen student and a pleasant kid.
The rest of this is happening in your head, and you need to stop it before it seriously mucks up your ability to connect with other, availble young men and build real relationships with guys.
Ignore your friends who are teasing you.
He was a good teacher who was learning how to be a great teacher, and with you, he may have crossed a few lines, but nothing in this suggests more than that. Even your mother felt it would be wrong but trusted HIM, this praticular teacher, and his intentions.
I don't believe for a second he had rommantic thoughts about you. That's happening in your brain, not his.
You are developing an obessesion, and you need to stop it. Your behavoir is becoming a problem in your life that has almost nothing to do with him anymore. Stop living in the past fantasy world. You only see him from time to time now, you need to keep it that way, and let it go.
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