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I can't stop thinking about starving myself to lose weight!! What do I do?
I know everyone is just going to say "eat!" but that's not what I need people to be telling me. I think I need serious help. I haven't been "starving" myself yet but I have begun to try to limit myself to only eating once a day to lose weight. I know that starving yourself is bad for u obviously but I'm so desperate at this point that I don't even care anymore. I'm not overweight I dontthink but I hate the way I look. I'm 5'8 and 120lbs. I can't look at myself in the mirror without wanting to cry and have found myself browsing through pro anorexia websites and pictures. I have nobody to talk to about this! What do I do?
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I am the girl that originally asked this question and I want to first of all thank you all for your answers. But I would also like to clear a few things up. I realize that there are people out there that are handicapped or have an actual disease and I'm not trying to make it seem like I have it much worse than them. I know I don't. But it doesn't change the way I feel about myself no matter what anyone says. I have read about eating disorders and I know that they don't just come out of nowhere and that they are usually from an OCD disorder or anxiety or traumatic experiences. So I will let you all know so I can make it clear that I had a horrible childhood with my parents leaving me and my sisters home alone for days at a time when I was just 4 and my sisters were 6 and 9. My oldest sister (who I am very close to now) used to torment me an lock me in my room for hours and hours and she would verbally and physically abuse me. I understand that she was just a kid too and was taking on way more responsibilities than she should have had to and that's why I don't hold a grudge against her. She is now my best friend. We grew up with no food to eat most of the time and we would Starve while my mom went to work and ate there. I suffered from anxiety really bad since I was about 6 years old and used to think that everyone was trying to poison me. I have gotten over that obviously by now but I think it had a big impact on me. Then as I got older I met a guy and had two kids with him (I was only 18 when I had my first) and I watched his mom die from cancer right in front of my eyes which was also traumatic. He was verbally and sexually abusive to me and my children and I put up with that for 4 years. I won't go into details but it was hell. Then we broke up finally and I met another guy an we had a baby together and he started verbaly and physically abusing me. This went on for another 4 years until I finally escaped him. That was only 8 months ago and the guy I'm with now is amazing. He never asks me to change or lose weight. He always tells me how beautiful I am and how he loves every part of me. So I'm not trying to change for him. I dont even know who or what I'm changing for.... That is a question that I don't know the answer to. It must be for me. I have read all the problems that come with eating disorders and although it seems bad, I feel like I'm still willing to do it. If you asked me 6 years ago I would be the one saying that I could never starve myself and that I love food too much. But I don't know what changed or how it changed. I'm more concerned for my daughters picking up on these horrible habits and turning out like this some day. I want them to know they're beautiful and be happy with who they are but how can I say that when I'm not happy with me? It's a horrible situation and it just the beginning for me. I did eat healthy and exercise everyday and I'm just not getting the results that I want. I look in the mirror and I have a warped vision of myself. To the woman that said that she has been through this too, I just want to say thank you and that your words meant a lot to me. I don't want to feel this way. Nobody does. But it's something I just can't help now. I feel like I should go see a doctor before this gets out of hand but that also means that I won't lose weight. It's a lose lose situation for me. I will keep reading your answers and I thank all of you that truly understand and don't judge me.
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Let me first start off my saying, I am a female and I have been in the same position as you. I was 5 foot 7 inches, and weighed 125 pounds. For the longest time I wanted to starve myself and only eat on every other day. However, I talked to my friend about my decision, and she told me some very helpful information.
When you do not feed your body its basically anorexia? ... thats my take on what your talking about. But all I can say it is horrible. You might think if you starve yourself you will look better, but you will not because you will have so many new problems to deal with. Like my mother always told me, you will be robbing peter to pay Paul.
Anorexia Nervosa is when you think that you are so fat that you need to starve yourself to get thinner. This is a horrible disorder that can lead to so many horrible side effects. Such as, depression, loneness, mood-swings, withdrawal from others. Besides these horrible ones you might also want to consider that you could have a loss of hair and you might grow fine hair on your body, even on your face. If you do not think that these are enough reasons not to starve yourself you can access the following website; [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I am sorry if you think I am one of the annoying people who will just tell you to eat, but having gone through this before I think you would want to hear the reasons why I choose not to.
I realized that if anyone did not like me for who I was, then I did not want them to like me. I found that the good thing was that guys still looked at me when I walked through streets and I still had a large number of friends. However, I was happy because I knew that all of those people who liked me for who I truly was. I also liked how I did not have to change for them. If you think that you need to change how you look to please your boyfriend or anyone else, then you should space yourself away from those people, because right around the corner there will be people who like you and respect you for who you are.
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Wow. I'm being completely honest here...I have had these same thoughts and if my thoughts were still this severe, I would have reached out for help from family, friends...anyone...but now I don't obsess as much. I saw a documentary on eating disorders and instantly recognized one of the patients in the rehabilitation center. She taught at my school a few years ago and to see her struggle was like an awakening to me. There is so much to live for and obsessive thoughts about food takes away the joy in life. Please ask for professional help. It's very necessary at this point.
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you REALLY need to talk to someone about this. SERIOUSLY. tell your parents. i'm not joking. you need to tell them. if you aren't comfortable with telling them, tell a sibling, relative, teacher, counselor etc. but you HAVE to tell someone..
i suggest that whenever you think about not eating, subsitute that for exercising. so if you think "dang i shouldnt eat this" you should change your mind and think "i can eat this BUT i have to work out after"
in my opinon, why would you go through all the pain and sufferring to starve yourself.. when all you should do is eat and then exercise? its so simple and wont hurt you.. starving yourself=hurting you. eating and then exercising=not hurting you
why would you want to hurt yourself..? don't you want to look better?? i thought thats what the point was.. to look better.. how are you supposed to look better if you're hurting yourself??
another thing. i'm so sick of people thinking "i dont like the way i look. i dont like this about me. blah blah blah" seriously.. this is the way you were born. DEAL WITH IT. some people are born with disfunctions like cleft lips, mental disorders, mutated faces etc. thats the way they were born.. they have to deal with it. this is the way YOU were born.. deal with it. why would you change yourself in the first place? who are you trying to impress? a guy?? if you really wanted a guy to love you, wouldn't you much rather know he loves you for YOU and not some fake girl who is trying to change her natural self??
i just think if someone is trying to change their apperance, its the most ridiculous thing ever. yeah someone may be overweight and want to lose a few pounds, thats great! but you're 120 pounds. you're the same exact height as me and i weight 135 pounds. i'm pretty skinny too.. my jean size is size 5 or 7. i just think that why would you want to change yourself if you are perfectly fine?? your weight is fine.. why would you want to change that?
try making a list of things you dont like about your body. what SPECIFICALLY don't you like. your nose? your hips? write down what you would like to change about that. narrower hips? smaller nose? then think about it logically. HOW are you going to change that?? how are you supposed to have bigger curves? how are you going to get a bigger butt? how are you going to get a smaller nose? losing weight..? that is not the answer. losing weight won't help. especially if you're at a perfectly normal weight for your age.
then write another list of everything you DO love about yourself. doesn't have to be apperance. it could be your personality. what you love about your personality. stuff like- i'm a hard worker. i never give up. i love to sing. i have a great voice. i am a great drawer. i am a great writer. i dont complain. i am a leader. whatever. just make a huge list of EVERYTHING you love about yourself and you'll see that changing who you are is not the answer to your problems.
this is who you are. accept it. don't try to change yourself just because you are dissatisified with your appearance. deal with it. there are people all over the world who have to deal with a messed up face or mutated body. i'm pretty sure if they can deal with it, you can deal with whatever your problem is.
btw, you have NO idea how lucky you are... you should really take a good look in the mirror and be thankful that you look the way you do. i know people who would KILL to have a body like you probably do. i know people who don't have arms. i know a person whos face is mutated and messed up. i know someone who is a siamise twin (one lower body, but 2 heads). they tell me over and over how badly they wish they could just be normal... you have no idea how incredibly lucky you are to look the way you do... be grateful for that...
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Okay, if you want to lose weight, you might want to consider exercising and eating healthy. People burn fat, not energy. By eating small portions, you burn the fat easier. If you don't eat, you'll become sick and you might either lose too much weight or not be able to lose at all.
Eating small portions of healthy food, and maintaining a good exercise routine will keep your body in shape and of course, you will throw off excess weight.
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