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Now what do I do?
Alright, so my boyfriend and I of 11 months we were having phone sex, and apparently I was getting to loud at it and my father..which was next door he called attention to my mom, and after I got off the phone, she started yelling at me over it, and asking why I changed my underwear, and I was utterly embarrassed, so when mu bf called back he felt bad, and he said it was his fault and he would tell her we weren't doing anything, so he did..but than afterwords my mom kept bitching saying " I know thats not the truth" and she says I best tell the truth, it will make things better so I decided to tell her the truth. Now its the next day and she won't stop saying " I'm disappointed in you." " Thats so slutty to do." All those things. Also we were planning , sense my boy friend doesn't have such a great home life, his grand mother is all he has and she leaves him for months with no moeny and sense my boyfriend is a senior after this year he was going to move in. Now she says not until shes trusts us again. Now I don't know what to do now? All this is my fault according to her, my boyfriend and I were just expressing are feelings for each other, we don't have sex..we feel it wasn't anything bad. What is it that you guys think? Now I feel horrible, and embarrassed. :/
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You do not have to feel horrible! Your mum is being way too unfair! Does she want you to have actual sex? I think not. Everyone has ways of expressing their feelings, mostly causing teenage pregancy.
You found a safe, healthy way to express your feelings. This boy's grandmother sounds cruel and it is very unfair and rude to forbid you boyfriend from living a better life when he has the chance.
You need to sit down and talk to your mother. Tell her how you feel and show her this if need be. GOOD LUCK :)
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Honestly, I'd tell your mother to shut up about it and be thankful you're talking about sex instead of having it.
I mean, we've got daily questions from girls 13-15 who got pregnant, and you're here asking about phone sex. On the scale of 1-10 of how much you could destroy your life with the things you're doing, you rate a one only because your parents react badly to it.
Be polite, but express that you don't want to hear how disappointed she is because it's not her business when you're not doing anything that could harm your life and that her disgust just proves she's having a really hard time seeing you as someone who's trying to grow into an adult instead of just a kid who needs to be protected from the world.
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Your mom is never going to understand phone sex. Honestly I would just gain her trust again. Bring him around alot more family dinners movie night game night etc. dont be alone with him in your room.
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No matter what you say, your mom is not going to understand your point of view or believe you, no matter how many times you try to apologize or explain or convince her otherwise. The only thing that you can do, is give this time, and during this time, prove her wrong, prove to her that your intentions together are not sexual, and that you do not plan to have sex, and how much your boyfriend is a decent guy. You can do that by talking to her, by showing her in actions. It just caught her off guard, she was surprised and she didn't expect that, I mean, you can't blame her, after all, she found out about it while you were doing it, you know, it's not so good. So her not talking to you is probably just an initial reaction of shock, so just give it time, maybe even a couple of days or something, and then try to talk to her again when she has calmed down. And I'm sure that your mom knows that you're a good person, and that it's not like you do that all the time, or regularly with random guys. He's your boyfriend and I'm sure your mom knows him as well and knows that he's decent, enough to have agreed to allow him to stay in the house with you. And tell her that you would never actually have the actual sex act, it was just a means of expressing your feelings, and that you would never go further, you know. Also tell her, that you don't do that all the time, and that it was the first time (even if it wasn't), and that you wouldn't do it again (even if you will), and that you were wrong and your sorry, and she's right, she had trust in you and you should've been worth it and stuff, you know.
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