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HOW WOULD MY FUTURE BE?
so im 17 and my bf is 21 i thought i would end up having a happy life with hin but 4weeks ago he got arrested and he told me it was because he violated probation. even though he was locked up he called me every day and he asked me would i wait for him and i said i will because he is my future husband. so one day i wanted to see his mug shot so i googled his name and i found out the real reason why he was locked up was because he's a drug dealer.... now im feeling like i dont really know him any more and is this what i really want in my life. he dont know that i know the real reason why he's locked up im just waiting till he gets out to confront him. should i try to help him change or should i move on. i really dont want to leave him. i love him soooo much.
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you need to move on, your too young to commit yourself to a person behind bars, he may be a great guy, but a drug dealer will always be a drug dealer, its an addiction that will never go away,later on in life you will want kids, and its a mothers first instinct to protect her children, and having the aroound a person that was once a drug dealer is not good for them. there are plenty of other people out there that need somebody just like you, and are perfect in everyway for you, and besides this guy lied to you, he was hidding a big part of him, when he got arrested that should of been a wake up call, no mmatter what it was for, and he wont be happy that you are going to catch him in that lie, things could get dangerous.
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You know the answer to this question without asking it. If you are asking it in order to confirm what you know in your heart...that's okay.
This guy has no future for himself and cannot offer you one either. He was on probation, which is the courts way of giving him a second chance and he screwed that up already. On top of that, he hasn't been honest with you. And last but not least, you are under age! I realize you are only one itty bitty little year away from 18, but that isn't the point.
The point is that this guy doesn't respect the law, himself, or you.
You don't need to stick around to comfort him. What you need to do is stay in school, figure out where you are going to college, get your degree, and then know that you will never be dependent on a man for anything. That way, down the road when a loser comes into your life, you can look at them and smile knowingly, and leave them in your dust.
You are worth so much more than what this guy can ever give you... please don't sell yourself short!
Best regards,
Jada
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Are you high? Or do you have the mind of someone half your age? Or both?
This guy is a screw up. He will always be one. He's also pathetic for being 21 and dating a 17 year old, so you're clearly dating someone that's not high up on the development food chain. You should break up with him and date boys that are worrying about their SAT scores, not his cell-mates in the shower.
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I know this is not what you want to hear, but now is the best time to walk away. While you still can.
There is no "his side of the story" to hear. He broke the law once, was given a break, and couldn't stick by those rules.
How well do you imagine he will abide by other "rules" of adult life, like stay faithful to a wife?
The numbers of women who are in prison because of their boyfriend's or husband's drug dealings has risen dramatically. And those women don't know other people in the drug deals or have information to give, so they get labled "uncooperative" and get longer sentences.
Stay with him, and you will have heartache and troubles as long as you live.
Again, I know how much you love him and how much you hurt and how much you don't want to hear any of this, but please thik about yourself. You deserve better.
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You guys seem like you have something special.
Wait to confront him. Hear his side of the story if you "love him sooo much"
Decide for yourself though if you want to stay with him.
Sometimes fighting through hard times makes ones relationship stronger.
That was the case for me and my boyfriend of 2 years
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I have dated a drug dealer before, and almost went to prison because of it (long story that I'm not going to get in to). My advice: run the other way. You can't ever trust a drug dealer, he already proved you can't trust him because he lied to you. By what he does for a living, he is not only putting himself in harm's way (future husband my ass), but he is putting you in harm's way as well. Take it from someone who's been there, done that.
MAK, 19
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You will not have that happy life with this guy. You will always be looking over your shoulder or waiting for the cops to knock your door down and rummage through your things.
Unfortunatley, the money people make selling drugs is to good for them to just stop. He probably won't be happy making a real persons wages. Love him or not, regardless of what he says, he probably will not change a thing. He has already proven himself to be a liar.
You would be better off telling him right now that you are done. Don't wait around and make it worse for yourself.
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Honestly honey move on. You got so much going for you in in your life. You don't need a man who would lie to you. You deserve a better bf than him. After all he lied to you about his sentencing, what else can he be hiding from you.
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