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what does he want??
20F. I'm warning you that this will be long, but I will definitely return the favor to anyone who can give advice!
So I recently met this guy whose 19, he's so adorable!! We both have mutual friends so he's not a complete stranger. Well a few nights ago me and my friend went to this little get together we were at, we were both drinking a little. He wanted to go in the hot tub and I said i'd go with him. So he had a swimsuit but I didn't know there was a hot tub so I just went in my bra and underwear, no big deal to me. So it was just me and him in there and we just started talking. I could tell he wanted me by how he was acting aha so I eventually sat in his lap in the hot tub and we started making out, then he started fingering me. Well then we got out and kept making out and he kept fingering me. Well then I was like I don't think I can do this, I can't trust you..you probably hook up with girls like this every night. He said to be honest ..I haven't hooked up with a girl in about 5 weeks. I said ..okay well just to let you know i'm still a virgin and then I asked him how many girls he's slept with and he said 3, two were his girlfriends of a long time and one was a drunken mistake he claimed. He said I'll even give you my moms number to prove to you that you can trust me and if i turn out to be an asshole you can call my mom and tell her. I could go on and on about the things he was doing to prove that I could trust him. Well then my friend and one of his friends come downstairs and he said grant will you tell her i'm a good guy and that she can trust me? and then my friend butts in and says..i heard you just hooked up with a girl last weekend!! well then he just got pissed at me for not being able to trust him. He calmed down after a bit and then we just cuddled. I just can't tell if he just wanted to get some from me or if he was being sincere??
What do you think??
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It sounds like this guy is trying to get laid. Don't lose your virginity to someone unless they are special, you will probably regret it. Guys who come up with endless ways to tell you can trust them, should be the ones that aren't trusted. The person I lost my virginity to told me he loved me and wanted to be with me forever, then dumped me a week later and slept with my best friend. Guys will tell you anything to get in your pants. If you do really like this guy, test him. See if he's in it for the long haul or just for a night. Tell him that you're not ready to have sex and if he can't accept that, than you cannot accept anything more than friendship from him.Give him a time frame, or an approximation, if he agrees to wait, and does so patiently without trying to co-erce you all the time, then it might be worth it. You will be able to tell if he's willing to wait by how impatient he gets by passing time. If he's out screwing other girls while "waiting", tell him that he needs to go find a lay somewhere else because that's not what you're looking for.
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i say "run!!!"
you know he's so desperate to want you, he's pleading for you to trust him. his trick with his mum, he's lying, he knows you wont call. a decent guy would stop if he knew you are a virgin. he's a douche who gets more turned on knowing you are a virgin. he wants to be your first, kick your virginity aside and brag to his friends later about how he's such a good player. dont let him do that!
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I think you should walk away from him as quickly as possible.
He just wants to hookup. You appear to want a much more serious relationship. He was proud of how loong it had been since a hookup, and he thinks 5 weeks means something? (And it was probably a lie.) Where do you think he sees you in 5 weeks? A tiny speck in his rearview mirror.
You can do better than a hit-and-run job in a hot tub with someone you hardly know. The fact that he got angry when your friend spoke up speaks volumns. Stay away.
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In my opinion, I think he was just trying to get some. I have been in that situation before, and trust me, if its a guy you don't know too well they will do absolutely ANYTHING to get in your pants, especially if they are already turned on, and if he had alcohol in his system.
But the biggest reason I think he wasn't being sincere is that he got angry when your friend chimed in that he hooked up with someone. If he were telling the truth, I believe he wouldn't have gotten angry. He got angry because she caught him in a lie.
MAK, 19
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i wouldn't trust him. if you just want a hookup then go for it but if you actually want more from this guy you should make him work for it. don't let him get what he wants until he proves it to you that he's a good guy and doesn't just say it.
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