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this guy .... I NEED HELP ASAP!!!!
hey so im 15 f
~well me and this guy in my classs during school would always flirt and like touch and constantly just flirt.... well...recently we started texting ALOT like all day! and he has recently started to talk sexually.... like he wants us to do stuff.... so now he wants us to hang out and you know ... do stuff.... well i have never done anything before.... like not even kissed.... welll not like actuallly..... so like i reallly wanna have fun with him ! but like i wouldnt go past oral .... well maybey not even that I DONT KNOW YET! like idk what to do ..... do it ... or not do it... so like basically what i am asking is..... what are the positives and negatives to taking him up on his offer? and please dont give negatives i want positives to! :) THANKS :)
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unless people are actually going out for a while, more than a few months, idont advise people to do more than kissing while hookingup because morelikely than not, things end badly, even if yuh think they may not. the faster yuh begin a relationship, the faster it will end. if yuh do so much in the begining, there isnt much left for the other to worry about. guys like a chase, trust me. its better to start out slow because if they do end, and yuhv done somuch so quikly, yuhl feel badd about yuhrself. if yuh do hold off and things end, or even if they dont, yuhl see that yuh went slow and didnt give in.
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negatives :(
this guy could be just using you for sexual activity and not actually like you for you .
positives :)
he could really like you .
but i doubt it because i kno hoe guys are trust me i have plently of experince so hes prolly just using you for .... you kno what ...
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I absolutely agree with max. No positives. Not one. The problem is whereas we have experience behind us that tells us what we did right and wrong in high school, you don't. So when we tell you there are no positives 1) Because of your age and 2) Because even YOU are questioning yourself! Listen to that little voice that when it tells you is the right thing to do....you don't want to listen. THAT voice is the one that is right. I promise you that this will mean so much more than even what you can imagine now, when you are older and truly ready. Never allow someone to talk you into something that you are still questioning yourself about! Take care of yourself first and do not worry about what the boy is going to think if you say no thank you, I want to wait! You will so thank me a few short years from now.
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There are no positives to taking him up on his offer. If he is texting you and trying to get you to do something with him when you haven't kissed and aren't in a relationship, he doesn't care about you.
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To be honest.
As a 16 year old girl, that has done it.
I can honestly, tell you.
That a lot of guys, feel they are pressured into having sex because of the constant male peer pressure of having sex. Watch any film, listen to any song or have a look at any male magazine and you will know. So maybe he doesn't actually want to do it but feels pressured.
Also, as you haven't kissed him or got past second base. I would say defo don't do it. Otherwise, you'll be labelled as the easy girl who gives it away to anyway.
And finally, you don't need to know what others feel to make your decision. This is the biggest decision of your life. Most people will feel its not until they have actually given it way. And you will know when the time is right. Trust me, don't ask me how, but everyone just has this gut feeling of when their ready.
BUT never just give it up to some random guy please!
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Don't do it! I am also fifteen. Lets just say guys at are age are immature, they don't know what love is. and they don't mature until they're in there late twenties. Once a girl loses her virginity they get emotionally and physically attatched to that guy. if he's texting you saying sexual things and yall aren't even dating that just proves he doesn't care, and thats all he wants, and once he gets that he won't talk to you anymore sounds harsh but it's true it's happened to alot of my friends. think of it this way,most of the girls you talk too that aren't virgins are they still with the guy they lost there virginity too? I mean some of them might be but most of them aren't.
Don't do it unless you're ready, don't let him pressure you into doing anything you're not ready for! wait until you find the right person, and yall fall inlove believe me it will be alot more special! I am also a virgin, but I want to wait until I find that special person. I believe 15 years old is just waaay to young! Just think before you do it, think about the rumors that will go around school, what people will call you, and how he will treat you afterwards. in the end it's your decision! if you haven't even kissed a guy you're definitely not ready for sex, just saying!
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I know it sounds exciting having a guy wanting to have sex and do things with you at your age but if i were you i wouldnt. Good healthy relationships shouldnt be based upon sex and if you start it off that way things will only go downhill. Im not absoultley sure your saying you want a relationship with this guy but starting it off by doing sexual things is not the way to go. On the positive side it might make you feel good about yourself after you have done it but in the long run you might regret it and you dont want that. Wait for someone your in love with to do those things with. It just makes everything much more special.
hope i helped.
-kristy
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Seriously hun... you should definately wait. You're 15. The first time I had sex I was pressured into it by the guy. And I really regret it now. My opinion is that you should wait until you are really ready... Don't let anyone pressure you into something that you don't want to do...Let me know how everything goes.
Oh and if he really likes you... he will respect whatever decission you make.
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i honestly think the hookup is a bad idea. i know it sounds stupid, but hooking up with people when you're not dating, or even when you are dating, can create ALOT of jealousy in future relationships, and can maybe even ruin them. i know from personal experience. it's sooo cliche, but really, wait til you're married. it makes things sooo much better for you, and your future spouse. relationships are a million times better without jealousy.
me and my current boyfriend have been dating for about 7 months, and we've both been involved with other people, and it bothers me, alot. it makes me wish we BOTH waited. but there's nothing we can do about it now. i know you may not think it's a big deal, but someday, you'll regreat it.
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Please don't do it! I'm the same age as you, and i don't think you should do it. You'll regret it later. I know you will. You aint even dating? Later on when you find you a real bf and you commit to him, then you'll regret what you did if you do it. And some other guys don't want to date a girl thats done stuff with another.
But i guess it's your choice, so do what you think is right. I mean doing that wouldn't be all bad i guess. Well, Goodluck. If you need anymore advice, i'd be glad to help though
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