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I have no idea of what to do or think and it's making me miserable
So tomorrow is my last day of senior classes (high school) and all of the sudden, I'm having problems with my best friend, Holly. Holly is by no means a perfect person by I have some of the best times in the world with her. She's like a sister to me we share all of our secrets and as a friend, I just love having her. There is a sense of friendship we have. She has some faults though and sometimes she doesn't treat her friends with the respect they deserve. That's why her bf broke up with her. So here's the short version of the saga. In march, I got mad at Holly and somehow we stopped talking for about a month and a half. It was one of the most miserable times in my life. Whether or not it was for a good reason , I still felt awkward around our circle of friends and awkward around her and it killed me. We started being friends again a little while later and I was happier than I'd been in months. Everything has been fine until up until a few days ago. She's been acting like she's above me and saying rude, snide things, and just taking advantage of me. We got into a few big arguments. Is Holly wrong? probably. Is it not a healthy relationship? maybe. I just feel so horrible that everything was perfect until the last day of senior year. I'm angry at her in so many different ways that I'm not even going to get into because the point is, I feel like our friendship might be ending THE LAST TWO WEEKS OF SR. YEAR. The LAST thing I want is to be miserable at prom, grad, yr. book, etc. because I KNOW I will be if we're in a fight. Should be mad at her for her crankiness and snide remarks? Should I apologize for "causing a fight?" I am honestly so upset because this is the worst time for something like this to be happening. I want to stick it out until the very end of the year, or else I'll be truly miserable. Help please
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Is she going to the same college as you?
Hopefully not D:
she's not behaving as a good friend should behave and its not right to treat you this way. It's not your fault at all, but unfortunately some people just have these personality faults. talk to her and ask if she would be civil with you just until the end of senior year and then you could forget about her ? or if not you could just be distant friends instead of really-really close? hope this helps .?x
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Hey there,
You have quite a hardship here... I think it is amazing of just how close you and Holly where in the past. I think if your friendship is truly pure and strong, one little fight or argument cannot whatsoever stop you guys from sticking together.
- One thing to keep in mind here... every single person in every single type of relationship wether it be a friendship, family or romantic relationship are ALWAYS going to have their little or big arguments and misunderstandings.
- you need to have a serious talk with Holly and if she really wants to keep your friendship up and running, she will show interest in wanting to have this serious but peaceful/respectful talk. If you find her getting annoyed and irritated during your talk, ask her to calm down... take a deep breath and stress to her that this is why you are talking in the first place... to get things clear and negative things off your chest without loosing control to the point that you guys start cursing or swearing at each other. make this conversation as mature and serious as possible for a healthy continuation of your long valuable friendship.
- I think your arguments are pretty much healthy that is, if they don't happen very often and if a rational and healthy peace is made in the end.
- You need to keep in mind that you guys are not perfect. No human being is perfect! this is why the little things that might bother you that she does, need to be talked about in a serious way... advice her, tell her that she needs to make a positive change so that she does not push away people that she loves. The same goes to you, tell her what it is she does not like about you and make an effort (a true effort) in making a positive change to bring back amazing experiences that BOTH of you will remember for years to come.
Best Always,
-trueadvice3
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I understand that the last two weeks of school are never a good time to have a falling out with your best friend, but you really don't deserve to be treated the way she's treating you. If you're really worried, you could try to put up with it for the two weeks left of school, or you could talk to her now, but either way you need to let her know in a calm and polite way that she's your best friend and the way she's treating you really upsets you. Be as calm as possible when you talk to her about this. If you yell and argue, it's not going to go well. Tell her how much you care about her and how much fun you have with her, but that it upsets you when she makes rude comments. She may not even realize she's acting this way, and if she's really a true friend, she should step back and think about how she's been acting and try to make things right.
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Im really sorry to hear about you and your friends problems.
It could be that she is mad at you, and if you can think of any reasons why i would approach her about them and try to talk to her.
OR it could be that your ending highschool. Imagine going to college and loosing your best friend. Maybe thats what she is afraid will happen and shes just trying to distance herself so that in the end it will feel like a choice to her instead of an inevitable.
College changes everything. I know that friendships in highschool seem like they will last forever, but the sad truth is, most of them dont. Im not saying dont try to salvage your relationship with her.
But remember, if it doesnt work out...its not the end of the world. You have your whole future ahead of you, dont let one person bring you down!
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Hey,
I know what it is like to have someone as your friend for a very long time, then suddenly you feel like that one person you were really close to is slowly drifting away. If Holly is acting rude, tell her she is acting a little off and you don't like it. If she is taking advantage of you, don't let her. It is not right for anyone to be taken advantage of and if she is your friend, she should respect you. I had a close friend that took advantage of me for quite some time, then finally I realized that I should not have to put up with it and I stopped being her friend for a few months. This helped the ashes settle and once she realized what happened, things went back to normal. Is Holly wrong? Probably, but that does not mean she hasn't said some true things too. Everybody sees a situation differently which is why fights start; no one is ever 'right'.
What you have to do is, ignore the fact that you two are having conflict with eachother and just keep living life. You make yourself miserable, no one else does it for you. I know you and Holly were close, but sometimes people just need a little break from eachother. You can have a good prom, grad, year book, etc, as long as you keep your head high, talk to other people, and smile. You can stick it out until the end of the year; you have inner strength.
You shouldn't be mad at her, but you should forgive her. Say "I am sorry we don't agree about everything and I hope you will still be my friend". Make sure you have her phone number/email address and tell her in person "you can message me anytime" and smile while saying it. That way, she will know you don't hate her and she will know you will always be there for her. Everynow and then, text/call her and say "I'm sorry about before, I hope we stay friends". Eventually she will know how much you value your friendship with her. It may not be right away, but she will know <3
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