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Step-daughter wants to call me mom.
My husband has 3 children from his previous marriage and has full-custody. We've had custody of them for 3 years now in Texas. Their mother lives in California. She has been unemployed since she moved out there 5 years ago. She makes no efforts to be a "real" part of the kids' lives. She hasn't come to visit, her cell is continuously shut off so calls are limited (once a week or every two weeks). And the children are currently 11, 8, and 6.
The other day the 8 year old asked if I knew why she didn't correct someone when they call me her mom. She then told me she didn't want them to know I was her step-mom. I asked her if she believed it was a bad thing and she told me no, she thinks I am a mom. I told her it was fine if she does that in front of people. She took it the wrong way and now wants desperately to call me mom 24/7.
My question is if both myself and the child are comfortable with mom is it alright for her to call me that? Her real mom's jealousy is not an issue because her presence is absent. Most people I ask tell me not to encourage her but she is the one asking not me.
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It's a great thing that she wants to call you mom. Being a mom to someone is more than just giving birth to them. If she wants to call you mom and you're okay with that, let her.
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Of course it is fine! You are more like a mother than her real mom is, so why not?
If she wants to call you mom, why would you forbid her to? If you don't mind, and she doesn't mind there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.
My mother started dating a guy about 5 months ago, hes a great guy, and my little sister LOVES him, and he cares about her deeply. She doesn't know her real father, and she calls my mom's boyfriend daddy. ALL the time. And she really thinks of him as her dad now.
In my opinion theres nothing wrong with it, unless you were making the child call you mom. If You are comfortable with it, then go for it(:
Hope that helped!
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Yes of course! i think its fine for your step children to call u mom! it sounds like you are more of a mother to them than to thier real mother.
Hope i helped
Em
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Ok if you are ok with it and she wants to call you mom than its good. I'm only 18 and I'm not a mom, but to me she sounds like she's trying to say that your more of a mom than her so called real mom. She might feel happy that your with her dad. To me she must love you alot
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In a sense you are her mother. Her mom isn't around to take care of her or do things for her. You are!
Her mother is making no effort to really be apart of her daughters life, so she sees you as that figure. You should be flattered! I don't think it's wrong. She loves you, embrace it. :)
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I highly respect that you are not encouraging her...and because of this, it's clear that all of her enthusiasm is genuine. She sees YOU as her mother figure already. Whether or not she calls you "mom", she still sees you this way. Adding a label onto it seems like it would make her happy. If you are comfortable with it, then I would suggest letting it happen because if you tell her it is wrong, she will think you are going back on your word and you don't appreciate the honor she's giving you. To adults, this would be understandable, but to an 8 year old, it would be dificult to grasp. This could end up hurting her. It is a very special situation and you are very lucky she feels this way.
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Let her call you mom if that's what she wants to do. What a compliment!
As far as this child is concerned YOU are her mom. you are there for her everyday. You feed and clothe her. You fix her boo boos. You are her mom in every way a mom is.
I don't know the circumstances of why her dad has full custody, but I know the courts don't take kids from their mothers if they are good ones. So, even if the day comes when her birth mom decides she doesn't like it...well, that's something she maybe should have thought about a lot earlier.
Enjoy it mom, you deserve the title. Ignore those who have a problem with it. I can only imagine they are thinking of their own kids calling another mom. Just remind them that your circumstances are special.
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Are you kidding?
The child is begging for a mother figure and you're married to her father. You are mother. Embrace it.
I don't know who your friends are, but they're idiots. She may be 8, but obviously she's intelligent and mature enough to have made this decision for herself. Respect it.
Kids are just like anyone else. When deprived of common bonds, they suffer. Her attachment to you is a good thing, something you should foster, encourage, and step up to.
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This can be a very touchy situation for all parties that are involved, but since the mother is not involved I think it makes it maybe even a little more complicated. You don't want to seem like you are stepping on anyone's toes, but if you and the child and your husband and comfortable with it and she knows that you are her step-mother, I see nothing wrong with it.
I think that you really have diagnose your own situation and decide for yourself what's best.
To her you have been her mother, a mother is someone who cooks for you, picks up after you, gets you ready for school, and takes you places that you like to go and thats what you have done for her. She doesn't understand how some people may see it as wrong( that is just their own opinion), she just knows how she feels about you and how you have treated her and been there for her. To a child it's simple, to adults more complicated. Maybe you should talk to your husband and get his opinion on the whole situation and work it out as a family.
I hope that you can find something that works for you and your family.
Good Luck & Hope I Helped :)
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