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i want to end my life
lately i've been thinking about suicide. I cry every night and im always sad. i keep trying to find things to make me happy. But nothing works anymore. i feel like theirs nothing really to live for. nobody loves me. and I don't think anyone ever will. im just unlovable. I want to be happy so bad. please just tell me what could make me happyy. or why I should live. i just need something, anything. I don't want to die but I don't want to feel this pain anymore. i just can't do it
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you should feel happy to be alive everyone has rough patchs some longer then othere. but there is a future and no telling what will be in it. there is a chance you just need to go to a pychratirst and talk about things. medicine can help and do wonders i know first hand. good luck and life is great and there is always mysterys in the future so dont look down on now cause things will get better.
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You need to calm down and take a deep breath. Instead of laying around worrying about your life. Take a walk or a jog. Studies show that if you exercise then that will relive stress and you can live your life better,and try not to worry about your love life right now, because if you sit around worrying about stuff like that then it will for sure get you farther into depression. Look if you take my advice great, but if you don't then here is my email owentowe@yahoo.com and we can discuss more in detail about your depression.
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I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.
If you are feeling suicidal at this time call 911 KNOW or go to the nearest hospital Emergency Room for help.
Suicide is not the answer to your problem(s). I would like you to call the National Suicide hot line. Their number is: 1-800-273-TALK (8255). They operate 24/7 and are totally free and confidential. They have a network of crisis center around the country they can refer you to for help, probably one right in your home town or close to you. The call takers are trained professionals who are volunteers and are there to help you; so please give them a call, they can and will help you through this.
You say you feel unloved. That is not possible, at least five of us, at this time, love you enough take the time to write you and ask you not to do this. Yes we do this out of love; we have no obligation to answer any or all letters written to this website.
You have just entered your teenage years; you have probably also started going through puberty. This is a very confusing time for any teenager; young women are especially confused as their mind tries to keep up with the changes their bodies are going through; the changes they feel within and most importantly the changes in the social structure they must navigate at school.
Your parent have expectations that they expect you to live up to, your teachers in school have higher expectations of you. Last but definitely not least your friends are also changing, just as you are, and they pressure you to change as they do. If you do not change as they want you to for whatever reason you become a social outcast. I have a feeling that this is where your problem may truly begin. Your friends may be pressuring you to do things you’re not willing to do or not able to do. Because of this they may have abandoned you.
As a parent I can tell you that your parents still love you. Parents never stop loving their children. There are times when we may not like them very much, but we never stop loving them.
Please call the hot line I recommended above. If you feel like hurting yourself before you can get to someone that can help you please call 911. Tell the call taker how you are feeling, they will send help. The normal response is to send both Fire Rescue and the Police. Do not be afraid, the call taker will most likely want to stay on the phone with you until help arrives. The police are there to protect you and the others not to harm you or arrest you. The fire rescue people are there to take care of you and to take you to the hospital.
If nothing else please remember this: There are people that love you. Your parents love you and five people who have never met you have taken the time to write to you to convince you that hurting yourself is not the answer and ask you to seek help for whatever is causing you to feel this way.
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First, I would like to make a clarification. You want everything to end, and you do NOT want to end your life. Suicide is just the only thing you can come up with.
That's an important distinction, and should be to you. It means that you haven't really lost hope for the future, but that you actually are just having serious issues dealing with the present.
In that regard, the first bit to my advice is therapy.
At 13, I think that would be a scary word. Hell, honestly at 25 it's still kinda scary to me. But the one thing that I can't deny is it's ability to help you understand, cope with, and accept your past so that it does not destroy your future. I don't know what your life is like. I don't know what you've been through or what you're dealing with.
What I can tell you is that there is no one who contemplates suicide at 13, deals with their problems and moves on, and then regrets it later.
You're at a fucked up age in a fucked up time in human civilization. There's people telling you what you should want, what you should feel, what you should do, every step you take in the world.
You want to know a secret? At 13 no one knows who they are, what they want, or where they want to go in life. No one. So people prey on you at that age because not knowing what's right for you, other people can convince you to do what's right for them.
If you stay alive, the things that make your life terrible will eventually be gone entirely. Family, former friends, the city or state you live in, your house, as an adult you can cut any and all or none of these things out of your life and move on. You can create your own stability and happiness in ways which you can't even imagine right now because you're a 13 year old kid who can't go out into the world and make a life for him or herself yet.
I've been where you are. At your age, and honestly I got to revisit it years later. Life is random, 25 years on earth have shown me that much. Sometimes life hands you no challenges, sometimes it hands you challenges that are right up your alley, and sometimes it hands you challenges which you have no way to cope with, understand, or solve.
The key to finding your way through the last one is time. Sometimes things go away, sometimes you figure something new out, sometimes bad things change into good things. But behind it all, people overcome. They move forward. You're no different, in that. You will adapt. You will overcome. But only if you don't throw in the towel.
It hurts. Believe me, I know. But those who have known suffering can, in time, know a truer strength. When you beat something, even when you just outlive it, you become stronger. More sure in your ability to survive. You look at your past and all the bad you remember, and you realize the cliche truth.
You are still here. You are still fighting. And you know that nothing and no one can change that one, simple fact.
A last comment about happiness. Happiness is relative. Happiness means something different to everyone you ask, and often it can be transitory. The declaration of independence mentions "The right to pursue happiness", and that's much more of a philosophical expression than a legal one.
Happiness must be pursued, and it's worth pursuing. But you will learn in the adult world that sometimes you have to take the good with the bad, and sometimes you have to wait through the bad for the good.
Now, enough of the existential bullshit, and on to some practical advice.
Happiness, at the start, is about simplicity. Learning to appreciate the small things. So your new mission is to find something every single day that makes you smile. A hobby, a show you like, a friend, a book. Every single day, before you go to sleep at night, your mission is to find something that makes you laugh, grin, smile, and feel happy. Even if just for a moment.
Something to remind yourself how it feels.
Next step, is to explore. There are a million things out there to enjoy in life. Try to find a few new ones. Step outside your comfort zone, and do something you've never done before. Say at least once a month.
Third, and hardest. Speak to someone else. Right now, the thing I pick up most strongly from your posting is that you feel alone in the world. You can't bear everything alone. No man or woman is an island, no one can function without others they are close to in life.
So start with a school counselor.
I know how that sounds. Talk to all of them. See if you can be honest with any of them. Try to talk to someone closer to your age 20s or 30s as opposed to someone who's 50, it can help you feel more comfy and understood. You don't have to tell anyone else what you're doing, but you need an adult who is capable of understanding and taking you seriously. Your friends and peers, unfortunately, are just too hit or miss.
They're the step that can help you find someone like a real counselor or therapist who knows how to help you.
This is long, so I'm ending. If you'd like to talk more, drop me a question. Might take me a few days to notice, I get online some days and not others. If you do, I need to know more about you in order to help. The three major areas are pretty obvious. Knowing more about how school is going (classes, teachers, how you're doing, etc), knowing more about your peer group (what your friends are like, enemies, people you know and spend time around) and knowing more about your family (anything you think is important to tell me)
Suicide is not an answer, nor is it an end. The real truth is that humanity does not know what lies beyond death. Death seeks us on it's own time, our jobs are to do everything we can before it finds us.
Hope isn't lost, and neither is your life. Things suck at 13 for a ton of people. But if you fight through it, there's more waiting for you than most. I said those who know pain are stronger, but those who know pain also are much more able to appreciate life.
As a random example, I've been fucked over by a good number of friends in my life. I've always been something of a damaged person, and so I relate to damaged people and we can all be unpredictable sometimes.
But because of what I've been through (and I had ZERO friends at your age) the friends I now DO have are that much more important to me. I care for them more deeply and appreciate things about them that I could not have had I not known the pain I've known in my life. Their loyalty, their advice, their willingness to tell me when I'm fucking up. Where before, I might have just seen people who judge me, I now can see and know friends who see my imperfections and love me anyway.
And I have a wife who fits the same bill.
There is love out there for you. It may take you time to find it, but you will encounter others whom are looking for the same things you are, and are made happy by the same things that make you happy. People who you will connect to. People who will want to connect to you as well.
I know its hard to believe, but I CAN make you one solid promise. I've been where you are, and I decided to live. I hated myself and my life, and I decided to fight anyway.
I'm married to a wonderful woman, I have amazing friends, and I have a future that I'm fighting to make real for myself. This is the future and present I've carved out for myself. And overall, I'm happy.
You have just as much waiting for you, if only you decide to seek it.
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Ohh trust me i know exactly how you feel, i,ve been in that exact situation so many times, but dont give up on life. ive had alot of issues too, such as dealing with family members who would always pressure me, and yell at me every time i came home. And even at my high school as well, where most of the girls spread rumors about me and no i barely have any friends and more enemies.
But one experience of mine that made me open my eyes was, when i was in my room crying due to the fact everyone hates me in my life and as well no one cares if i exist or not. But, when i thought about how life would be after i was gone, it was just plain sad. Because you know why? people would know you as the boy/girl who commited suicide and everyone in ur family would be dreadfully sad. Also another thing is if your not happy now, think about how your future, and what you want it to be like. like for me ive always wanted to go to a univerity and travel around the world and settle down when im in my 30's. Right now im 17 :)
But ya, seriously look carefully around you, and maybe you'll see a more beautiful world, like i do now. :)
Anyways enough about me.
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:/ I know how you feel. I've felt that same way for awhile.
I am sure there are people who love you!
No one can tell you what can make you happy, but yourself.
What do you like to do for fun? Go out and do those a lot. How old are you? Just try to get out more, make more friends.
Stay busy, focus on school, work.
Life wont always suck, but I do understand how you feel. If you really feel unhappy all the time, try going to your doctor and talking to them. They will probably prescribe you a depression will. It'll help somewhat.
Good luck!
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first off remember suicide isnt really the answer to anything. Trust me. I will never know just what is going on with you or how you feel inside but you just always have to remember that you arent perfect. But someone who believe in themself is very close to perfect. So I would say hold your cheek up high and smile. Make a list of all the good things in your life and all the bad things and try to fix the things that you dont like. And Even though I have never met you, laughed with you, cried with you, I love you and I will miss you.
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