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helpin and ex and getting went off on for it..
i broke up with my boyfriend of two years because i found out he was cheating on me for the last 4 or so months of it. then he went out of his way to turn people against me and break me down with all my weaknesses he knew, it was hell. but now his mom is in the hospital and not getting better. i was tryin to be nice and tell him shel get better n itl be ok and all. he went off on me, it just hurts i went out of my way to try and help them but now im hurt again.. how do i just give up on him? i love his family i dont want any thing to happen to any of them. what do i do?
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i would say hes upset about his mom thats why he went off on you....just keep them in your thoughts and prayer ....if he wants to talk about it he knows you care by you coming to him but he wasnt ready ....people deal with their hurt in different ways ....and you care about his family still ...im not sure how they feel about you...but if possible maybe you can go see his mom in the hospital to let her know you still care for her and that you will be there if your needed ...but DO NOT go to the hospital if your ex is there ....he might feel like your butting in on his life and family
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This is going to sound a little harsh, and I apologize in advance.
It isnt only your boyfriend that has issues. You do too. He may be mean, and clearly you are not, but you seem to be lacking in a little self love.
Sometimes something about the way we grow up makes us feel a little unlovable. And sometimes that makes us a little too willing to put up with behaviors that really arent ok. Or to seek out people who dont really love us, and to try to make them love us to kind of prove to ourselves that we really are lovable.
Unfortunately, this really never works. And you cant fix this problem by focusing on his issues. You can only fix it by working on yours.
You need to be your own best friend. I know you care about his family, so do send her a card or some flowers. But dont keep putting yourself in positions where someone who doesnt love the right way can hurt you. You need to just make up your mind that no matter what nice things you can think about him, that he is not good for you. He doesnt, or cant, love you properly.
Would you advise your best friend to talk to her ex after he cheated on her and slandered her to everyone? Who used all their intimate knowledge of her to hurt her or shame her publicly? No. You wouldnt. You need to think of yourself as a friend, and show yourself the same love, the same concern you would a separate person who was your friend.
When you ask how you just give up on him, you need to ask if somewhere deep inside you feel that if he would change his mind, or treat you better, that would prove something about you. That you are good enough for someone to love.
The truth of the matter is that you ARE lovable. You are worthy of someones love. But you may be picking people who cannot love you the right way because of some hurt in your past you never really got over.
Just try the best friend trick, and never let yourself do anything you would not advise your best friend in the world, or your child if you have any, to do. Dont put up with any treatment you would not want someone you love to tolerate. You have to love yourself that much, and protect yourself that much. And when you do, you will start to pick people who are able to love you better.
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First, as if you already weren't aware, this guy has major issues. From what you've stated he's incredibly jealous and insecure with himself. The best thing you can do for you is to cut him off. Cold turkey. No if's and's or but's. Not even a maybe. It will hurt, but in the long run it's for your sanity and you'll feel happier doing so.
Secondly, I understand that you love his family and care greatly about their health, but do NOT involve yourself in someone else's family matters. This might seem cold-hearted, but in theory, you're no relation to them and it can seem like you're meddling in someone else's business. It can also add onto the stress they're already dealing with. Those are private affairs.
If you want to wish his mom better or exchange a few nice gestures, send her a card.
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That was a shitty thing of him to say to you, However I guess I could understand if his mother wasn't getting any better that he is probably having a hard time dealing with the issue. However, He is your ex for a reason. They say that if you marry someone you don't just marry them...You marry their whole family. If you divorce someone, You also divorce their entire family as well. The best thing for you to do is to stay away from him, Stop trying to help him. Obviously, He doesn't want your help. I know you love his family... but sometimes you just need to let things go. How do you just give up on him? ... Honey you need to cut contact as that's usually the way to do it.
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Well I think if he treats you lik3 that you should just let him go then sooner or latter he will see how you felt about him and he will see what he gave up.
Just don't sit around and wait for him cuz that's just wasting your time with other alsome people you can be meeting and I know you say you love his family do you love him too or just scared to look for something better. Cuz I been through giving up on a relationship with someone I loved and now I can say I'm with my dream guy so just give it a try.
But I wish the best for you and you realy don't have to take my advice its realy what you feel so good luck friend.
Love C.L.N.<3
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Hey there,
Okay firstly what an ass!
Im so sorry to hear he did that to you,I know youve probably heard this a million times but guys like that are really not worth it.
And as for your friends?if they were true friends why in the name of god would they turn against you for breaking up with the guy that cheated on YOU?!
hold your head up high your better then that.
Dont let people like that bring you down and walk all over you.
Dont let them make you feel like youve done wrong when its them.Trust me been there done that.
Its great you care for his family still it shows what a caring person you are despite the hurt hes caused you.
maybe if you send his mom a letter or a text if she has a mobile or something like that just to let her know your thinking of her despite whats happend im sure she wont show any anemosity towards you.
If she does well then you know youve done your best youl just have to move on.
I hope this helps and things get better :)
Much <3
Jess
16/f
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