my name is candy and ive decided 2 give other ppl advice...everybody i know comes 2 me 4 help and thought maybe other ppl could use my advice i will only tell u what i think and how i feel and never tell anyone what they should do or not do
E-mail: dillcandydill@aol.com
Gender: Female
Age: 31
Member Since: March 21, 2010
Answers: 13
Last Update: March 22, 2010
Visitors: 2469
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I had this friend a few years ago and we were really, really close. Things were going fine and dandy and then she started doing these weird things. She started dating a guy that was totally using her (but I really don't know for what exactly). He got her into smoking weed a lot and taking prescription pain pills when he came over to her house on the weekends. He was constantly lying to her about she even found scratch marks on his back from a person. He finally stopped coming over to her house and talking to her and she went crazy, stalked him for awhile, and then moved on to make him jealous. She even thought about becoming a lesbian!
So, she found a guy (from MySpace) that knew the first guy and she started talking with him even though he had a girlfriend. They got together, drank a lot, and had sex in the woods one night. From there on out she stopped talking to ME!
Well, she met my boyfriend and it became a real mess. He doesn't like cigarette smoke and so he asked her, very politely, to please not smoke while he was in the room. She seemed OK with it and before we left that evening I pulled her aside and asked if she thought he was a good guy and she gave me the thumbs up. Then, she stopped answering my calls and started spreading LIES about me (like that I smoke)! I don't know why! She didn't tell ME anything!
Time passed and I heard she was going to marry the guy she met on MySpace. I tried to contact her again about it because we were best friends so that maybe I could see her at the wedding. She freaked out and lied about it, blocked me on myspace and on the phone, and forgot about me. She married that guy the next week.
Personally, I think she dropped me out of her life because I knew all of her dirty secrets. I know so much about the girl I could literally crush her relationship in the blink of an eye. I wouldn't do that though. I'm not that kind of person...but maybe she was afraid she'd make me mad and I would tell it all or something?
Now she sends me a message and wants to be friends. She didn't say anything about being "sorry" or how things went down. What do I do? Should I forgive her insane actions, forget about the drama, and be friends again? (link)
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ok first ....an all around seem to be happy person ...wont all the sudden start doing weird things ...like smoking pot,taking pills,stalking a guy,and then plot on making him jealous....did something bad happen in her life right before all this started .....because it seem like something deeper than just meeting the wrong guy ...if you still want to be here friend i say go for it ...sounds like she could use a good friend you might be able to help her because it does sound like more than the wrong guy thing .......alot of women fall for the wrong guy when things arent going right in there life ......i understand she pushed you out of her life but this could be her reaching out for help ....just dont let her mistake your kindness for anything other than that
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I want to get to know this guy at school better but I'm running out of good questions to ask him about himself. We have been hanging out more recently and I think we seem to have a spark. I want to get to know HIM though and so I've been asking lots of questions. I've gone through the usual favorite color/food/movie/music thing but am looking to ask more...UNIQUE questions. Or maybe more in-depth questions! He might become my boyfriend so questions to ask your boyfriend are good suggestions too if anybody has them.
Thanks for any help or tips you give! (link)
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i would say dont over run this guy with questions ....he might feel like your nosey or your investigating him or something wierd like that .....the best way to get to know someone is with everyday conversation....most people talk about what they like ...dont like....just by hanging out with him and listening to him you will find out alot about him......dont push him for information he will let you know what he wants you to know and later on you might learn more about him .....so dont make every encounter you two have ....like a quiz ...dont push,dont be nosy... just let him tell you what you want to know without questions(tell me everything about you kinda questions)....you will find guys really do love to talk about themselves .....so slow down
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I live alone with my dad and have since I was a baby. My mom died in a freak accident of sorts and so it's just been me and my dad all of these years. We get along great! The problem is that I started to have my period and I am going to need some pads (my friend gave me a few of hers to get me by for a couple of days). I know I should tell my dad so that he knows about it but I don't know what to say to him that isn't embarrassing for us both. How do I tell my single-father that I've started having periods? (link)
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oh i remember when i started my period ....i had my mom to talk to but it was still embarrassing i was the only girl out of 5 kids ....well anyways you and your are close and i know its hard to tell your dad that his little girl is growing up and it (im guessing) the last thing he wants to hear ...but he also know its going to happen ...so you have to be brave and sit your dad down and just say "dad i need to talk to you ...and i know this isnt a coversation neither one of us want to have but we have to"......and then just come out and tell him it might seem hard to do but it really ok he knows it going to happen and i bet he is ready for that conversation to happen and be done with ......but he will understand its not easy for you to come to him about it but he will be glad you did ....and if he dont want to go get you pads its ok guys arent really into doing that lol have a friend go with you
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okay well i dont really know how to start it off but me and my dad dont really see eye to eye with things. everytime i try to a have a conversation with him it usually ends up with tears and yelling and im just getting really sick of it. i barely even talk to him anymore because i just am tire of fighting and now its affecting my social life to everytime i get into an argument with my friends or other family members i just start cry and im starting to have panic attacks to... i just dont know what to do anymore... please help
Katie (link)
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my advice would be to send your dad an invition for a father daughter day ....make sure its an outting that you both will enjoy and also give you two time to talk and reconnect...without it being a planned talk ...and public places is a good place to talk because nobody wants to cause a scene....it doesnt have to be a deep convertaion but atleast it will be a calm one ....get to reknow eachother have some funny and get out in the open how you both feel about things ....start out slow and dont force anything .....im betting at one time you was daddy`s little girl ....And he loves you and you love him so it shouldnt take much effort to start getting along ....you dont want to wake up one day and it be to late ...life is to short to let anymore time pass
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how can you prove that your partner really loves you? How can you prove you love them back? (link)
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love its about proving it ....if you feel the need to prove your love or for your partner to prove they love you ....then im going to say its not true love ......love is something you know in your heart and no need for it to be proven....you know your in love when your partner gives you that look ...that makes you feel your the only person in the world even in a crowd of people...when you get out of the shower theres "i love you" wrote on the mirror and only appears from the steam ....love it that phone call from your partner when you`ve had the worst day ever and just the sound of your partners voice makes the day 100% better and he/she brought a smile to your face.......love it the little things that really dont seem like much but you know your loved and you love your partner.....love should never have to be proven
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im almost 15 my bf is 15 and he's nervous about showing me his penis he says it's small i told him i love him for him i want to please him and do more like give him a handjob but hes insecure how do i get him more confident? how big does a guys penis get? (link)
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ok ok you two are 15 ....i think you need to be doing other things like hangin with friends,seeing a movie,doing your homework etc...see your bf`s penis and handyjobs can come later on when your older and more mature ...dont try to grow up to fast your only young once enjoy it dont rush into growning up .....and if your still set on seeing your bf`s penis dont push into letting you see it ....give him time before you know it you will be seeing more than you really want to lol he will grow out of his shy stage...........but forreal i wouldnt worry about seeing his penis .......and just maybe if you two have that much alone time together then i really think the parents arent doing their job very well ....15 is to young to be thinking about sex
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can someone pleaz pleaz give me advice on what to do when i you love someone that once loved you an insanely crazy amount and made you love them back but then changed and it seems like they dont love you as much even tho they say they do, its just that they act differently towards u like they dont care as much... (link)
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the best way to find out if he still loves you is to straight up ask him...if he acts like yeah i love you,or he says you know i do,or seems annoyed by you asking him then i would say hes not in the same place you are in terms of feeling of love .....now if he seems worried that your not feeling loved by him anymore and says something like "yes baby i love you so much im sorry if your not feeling like i love you" then he still loves you but might be dealing with personal or family problems thats hes not ready to talk about..............and sometimes relationship start out very hot and people cant seem to get enough of each other ....but then slacks off for awhile then pick back up again ...and sometimes it was hot then and will never be like that again ...if was that attraction and lust but was never true love
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ok, there is this guy, and we been datin for awhile, and his parents nor sister doesnt know, we dont get to spend a lot of time together? His grades arent the best and his mom told him no dating, but we arent going to give up, cuz i really care about him, we go to the same school and we are in the same grade, but when we try to spend some time together, his sister is always around, she goes to the same school, and we are afraid that she will tell their parents and he will get into trouble... we never have time to spend alone, we hardly kiss or hug cuz we are afraid that his sister will see.. he seems like he really wants to kiss and hug but we have to look over our shoulders for his sister, and we dont get to... so how can we change it to where we actually get to spend some time together?
~Kentucky~ (link)
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his parents said no dating so you should respect their wishes and know its hard when you care about someone .....but the best odd for you two ..to get that time together that you both seem to want ....give him time to get his grades up and time to show his parents he can keep them up ....because if he dont then you two will always be looking over your shoulders and worrying about being caught ...he needs to focus on his grades first and you need to support he in that even if you have to walk away for awhile
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i broke up with my boyfriend of two years because i found out he was cheating on me for the last 4 or so months of it. then he went out of his way to turn people against me and break me down with all my weaknesses he knew, it was hell. but now his mom is in the hospital and not getting better. i was tryin to be nice and tell him shel get better n itl be ok and all. he went off on me, it just hurts i went out of my way to try and help them but now im hurt again.. how do i just give up on him? i love his family i dont want any thing to happen to any of them. what do i do? (link)
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i would say hes upset about his mom thats why he went off on you....just keep them in your thoughts and prayer ....if he wants to talk about it he knows you care by you coming to him but he wasnt ready ....people deal with their hurt in different ways ....and you care about his family still ...im not sure how they feel about you...but if possible maybe you can go see his mom in the hospital to let her know you still care for her and that you will be there if your needed ...but DO NOT go to the hospital if your ex is there ....he might feel like your butting in on his life and family
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i can never seem to meet any guys where i live. the guys at my school are not my type and i would never date any of them and same for them towards me but then when i meet other nice guys from different schools they are taken. its seems like i will never find anybody and im a junior in highschool and i need to have a relationship before highschool is over. can you give me advice (link)
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my advice is stop looking for a guy...your young enjoy that ...and i dont know why you feel you "need" a relationship before highschool is over ...ive never found a guy when i was looking for one it happens when your not looking for it ...just relax and enjoy life ....and if you feel like you "need" a relationship that just makes you seem needy and for guys that a huge turn off,or you will find the wrong guy....the kinda guy that seeks out woman that is looking and feel like they have to have a man to be complete..and those guys are very controlling and will make it hard for you if you ever tried to end the relationship.........so stop looking and it will happen sooner or later but it will happen
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How do I get the respect someone had for me back? I've been hooking up with this guy for about five months now, and first three months were good, but then all of a sudden he began treating me like shit, and in front of other people too. It has been getting better the past month, but I need to learn how to stand up for myself. I can't stop hooking up with him.
19/F (link)
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well if he is treating you like shit in front of people or when your alone with him ...he doesnt respect you at all ...dont hang around hoping he start showing you respect...if you was in a relationship with him i would tell you to get out now...but since your just "hookin up" walk away now because he has seen he can disrespect you and you will still be there believe it will only get worse ...your his booty call ...and that all you will ever be to him.....you can only be treated the way you allow people to treat you...and you have to have self respect dont let anybody treat you like shit ...demand the respect you deserve...and there are really respectful guys in the world that will treat you more than just a booty call
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WARNING! VERY LONG.
hi. so i know the title is pretty vague, but i don't have a clue on what my situation is. firstly, i put down friendships as my catergory, but it's a lot to do with families and mental health.
so i'll start off by lettin gyou know that i'm clinically depressed. i've always been like this, since i was six. well that's my first memories of it. it's not uncommon, it's genetic. it does rule my life, and i think that if i had friends who were willing to listen to me tell them how to handle me, i'd be fine, despite that fact that i cut myself a lot - not too badly, nothing that would seriously hurt me, don't worry, they're practically scratches. unfortunatley, i don't have any friends. I also don't have family, but i'll explain that later.
I've tried counselling and therapy. i can't stand that soemone who doesn't, and will not ever care about me, is being paid to listen to me. i want a friend who actually genuinely does care about me to listen to me. like i say, i don't have that. i am fully aware of my depression, since i've had a long time to analyse myself. however, it's not just my attitudes to things that need changing. i know i have low self esteem, and tend to think negitavely. but i'm quite smart, and i think i can, and do change that mind set a lot of the time. unfortunatley, my situation really is against me. i'm in a school for people who are a lot smarter than me, and altough i know i'm clever, i feel constantly put down by them. the one person who i talk to most, and i guess by your terms, you could say she's my best friend, though i don't like her very much, even beat me to a scholarship, and though i don't say anything, it hurt me a lot.
Although i'm pretty aware of my mental health, i do tend to shut myself off. i can't help it. i finally got some ounce of courage to ask my GP about it. i already know, but i wanted some medication to make it easier. but she told me i'd ave to have a session with a specialist beofrehand, and i chickend out. i'm a pretty good liar, i have to be, because i get asked if i'm okay a lot by teachers, some even recommending me to therapists, and even when i'm in a doctors office, and am MEANT to talk about it, my defences go up, and i start pretending that i'm fine, causing them to believe me. it's my own damn fault, and i now, and it's killing me.
i know this may all sound really confusing. it's like i want help but am refusing to ask for it.
It's really complicated, i don't htink anyone can understand it, because every type of depression is different.
As well as all that shit, My dad walked out on me and my mom wen i was thriteen. i really can't bring myself to talk to anyone about it. remember i told you about my 'best friend'? well the most i've said to her is that i think my dad is a son of a bitch (which he is.) and my mom is a useless pathetic mess, who i am completely ashamed of. (i didn't tell her the last bit.)
Whenever i get into my lowest points, my mind automatically thinks about this, and all the other crap in my life (WHICH I REFUSE TO TALK ABOUT. IT'S FAR MORE PAINFUL FOR ME TO THINK ABOUT.), it jsut makes it worse.
I sometimesget into theese moods, in whihc my friend calls me a stone wall, because no matter ho ard she pushes, i won't talk or do anything.
I know it sounds like she want to talk to me, but it's hard to expalin. i know she doens't because i can tell se just gets annoyed at me, even when i try to start talking about it. i just got out of a really low point, and tried to tell her i had a bad week, and she just rolls her eyes and asks me that in comparision to starving kids in africa, what do i have to complain about. her mom has cancer, so i know thta everyone has teir own crap. but no on seems to get how hard it is to do this completely by myself.
i don't want to get on about my family, because it hurts a lot, but it's safe to say, i am alone.
i wish my friend could be online or something, so i could try to takl to her again, but not face to face at school, because even thoguh i'm not sad, one of my symptoms of depression is that i start crying randomnly, but i have never cried at school or in front of anyone before, and i would hate to cry in front of her. i want to talk to her, but not face to face. but she's being so stubborn about being on the internet, and i can't explain to her why i need her to do this. it's so impossible because i'm surrounded by people who are inexplicably being to uncooperative, and i hate confrontation and am really defensive, so i tend to always be the one who gets left on the sidelines whilst people argue, and moan. and it really sucks, because recently some of my symptoms ave been getting worse. one of the symptoms thta my GP had to explain to me was physical pain. apparently it's a real pain, but is caused by depression. i used to think i was having a stroke or a heart attack which freaked me out, and no one knew, and i didn't tell my mom or ayone because all i could think was that i must be a freak and relaly unhealthy if i was having a heart attack. turns out they were just a symptom, but it's becoming worse, and more often and i've been having a lot more panic attacks. so i really need to let this out. i thought asking this website would help, but i don't think anyone can do anything. that's okay. i'm used to dealing with things by myself since i was young (Like i said, I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS.), but if you ave an opinon, maybe it might help. Right now, my suicidal impulses are at a low, but i've been on medication, so maybe that's why. please don't say crap like, don't kill yourself or cut yourself, because like i said, i am somewhat intelligent, and i know what i'm doing. just tell me how i can takl to a person. a uman perosn, not a hotline. or if you could just tlk about your own experiences or something. i don't know. i don't know what will help, but anything will do, right now. because i'm scare the pains, and panic attacks will get worse, and i'm running our of medication (not prescribtion) so i don't want things to get worse by then. thanks. sorry this was long. (link)
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i know what your dealing with ...ive been there ...i started drinking,popping pills,cutting,and doing drugs at a young age ...my depressing came from a rough childhood,being raped at 15,and being beat by a few ex`s.....i did whatever i could do just to forget what i was feeling ........and when everybody looked to me to be strong and be there for everyone ..i couldnt let my depression show because then people wouldnt see me as the strong,helpful,always there no matter what person i was exspected to be....but when i felt it was time to face the feeling ive been running from...i stopping doing pills,drugs,and cutting (still drink sometimes)..i realized that i didnt have to be the strong one and it was ok to cry....forgiving people was the hardest ...anybody can overcome depression if i can do it on my own then ANYBODY can do it
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Here's the deal: I'm 17, almost 18 years old and I've never had a boyfriend. Is there something wrong with me? I feel like guys NEVER like me as anything more than a friend, and I've been discouraged so many times I don't know what to do. It's not like I don't have any experience with guys, I've made out with and hooked up with guys before (never slept with anyone though), but whenever this happened both me and the guy were always really drunk or high at a party. It's like I'm not good enough to actually be dated, and because I've never gotten close to anyone before while sober, I get really awkward and never know what to do. Is there something wrong with me? (link)
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my advice is dont stress to much over never being in a relationship your still young and you have your entire life to have relationships....just have fun and it will happen when its right ...and you know people say friends first make some of the best relationships.....and i also have a little more advice ...be very careful when "hooking up" or making out with people when your drunk or high ...that can take you down a very dangerous path ...always be aware of your surrounding and the people your around .......ok ill end by saying if you can talk to guys when your drunk or high you can do it when your sober have confidents in yourself and dont stress it will happen
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