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getting respect back
How do I get the respect someone had for me back? I've been hooking up with this guy for about five months now, and first three months were good, but then all of a sudden he began treating me like shit, and in front of other people too. It has been getting better the past month, but I need to learn how to stand up for myself. I can't stop hooking up with him.
19/F
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well if he is treating you like shit in front of people or when your alone with him ...he doesnt respect you at all ...dont hang around hoping he start showing you respect...if you was in a relationship with him i would tell you to get out now...but since your just "hookin up" walk away now because he has seen he can disrespect you and you will still be there believe it will only get worse ...your his booty call ...and that all you will ever be to him.....you can only be treated the way you allow people to treat you...and you have to have self respect dont let anybody treat you like shit ...demand the respect you deserve...and there are really respectful guys in the world that will treat you more than just a booty call
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I don't think you can, in this case. Any guy who starts treating you like that probably didn't have much respect for you to begin with. He was probably waiting until you liked him to much to ditch him to turn into king jerk. Don't let him have his way.
I think that you will respect yourself so much more once you are free of him. Right now you don't yet believe what he says, but trust me, you will start to believe his nasty ideas after a little time goes by. It's important that you escape him before then, because at that point it is close to impossible to stand up for yourself and get away. You'll start to believe that you deserve his cruel words and that you don't even deserve the attention he gives you when he's hating on you. Putting you down in front of friends is one way that abusive boyfriends control their girls; it distances you from them and makes you believe in your own helplessness and worthlessness. Distanced from all your friends and hating yourself completely, while the guy who made you that way uses you for his own pleasure? That's a horrible place to be.
If you have some good friends, their support in this will help you a lot. Friends can distract you and help remind you that you do matter and that you aren't the person this guy says you are. If there's a friend you trust, you need to talk to them about this guy and helping you survive without him. A friend can help you while you're stuck between relationships, feeling lonely and needy because you're used to having a man there. Then, after the pain gets a bit better and your heart starts to heal, you can start looking for the special someone you truly deserve. Not a hookup, but a real relationship. Not a jerk who puts you down, but someone who will tell you how much you mean to him and how beautiful you truly are. Good luck.
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I have been in a situation very similar to this. it isn't easy to gain the respect you want back, but it is totally possible. I realize you said that you can't stop hooking up with him..and 5 months is a pretty long time, but to get proper respect back you need to gain control of the relationship. by hooking up with him all the time, he feels like he's got you on a string.. so he thinks he can get away with not treating you with the proper respect you deserve. so, even though this probably isn't the thing you really want to hear, the best advice I can give is to stop hooking up with him. it sounds to me like he is using you for physical stuff, and nobody deserves to be treated like that! you deserve somebody who will see you for who you truly are and not talk crap on you. by finding someone who treats you better, or even just standing up to this guy and telling him you're sick of this crap, he will respect you.
*BeLLe*
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