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me and my dad
okay well i dont really know how to start it off but me and my dad dont really see eye to eye with things. everytime i try to a have a conversation with him it usually ends up with tears and yelling and im just getting really sick of it. i barely even talk to him anymore because i just am tire of fighting and now its affecting my social life to everytime i get into an argument with my friends or other family members i just start cry and im starting to have panic attacks to... i just dont know what to do anymore... please help
Katie
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my advice would be to send your dad an invition for a father daughter day ....make sure its an outting that you both will enjoy and also give you two time to talk and reconnect...without it being a planned talk ...and public places is a good place to talk because nobody wants to cause a scene....it doesnt have to be a deep convertaion but atleast it will be a calm one ....get to reknow eachother have some funny and get out in the open how you both feel about things ....start out slow and dont force anything .....im betting at one time you was daddy`s little girl ....And he loves you and you love him so it shouldnt take much effort to start getting along ....you dont want to wake up one day and it be to late ...life is to short to let anymore time pass
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I was in your situation with my mom not too long ago, and it was very taxing on me. What I found was that in the arguing I never told my mom what was really hurting me and I kept all of that bottled up until I couldn't any more.
Don't add fuel to the fire with your arguments. Making rude comments or egging him on doesnt help. Try to stay calm and speak clearly.
Keep a journal about what bothers you, or talk to a friend if you have one that will really listen.
You can write a letter to your dad saying everything you want him to know and then decide if you want to give it to him or not. You could ask him to write you one as well so you could see from his point of view. Really try to see where he's coming from, it might make things easier. My mom was going through depression and that made her attitude towards me much more harsh. If the two of you can come to a greater understanding then hopefully the fighting will lessen. Remember he loves you and thats where this is coming from, if he didn't care he wouldn't bother yelling at you or giving you a hard time.
Good luck,
-Abby
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How awful. :/ I used to be kind of like that with my dad, but it was never that bad.
If you are starting to have panic attacks, it's time to talk to someone. Talk to your school counselor or a teacher you trust. It needs to be someone outside your family because I don't think your family will treat this matter as seriously as it deserves to be treated. Tell them about how things are between you and your dad and how it's starting to affect other parts of your life. Be sure to mention the panic attacks. The teacher or counselor should have advice and resources to help you deal with your dad and the anxiety that he's caused in you.
Does he treat the other people in your family like this? Maybe one of them can help you. The people in your family know your dad the best and are around you the most, so they could help you deal with him. Close friends are also good to talk to when you're upset. And sometimes just knowing that a friend knows what you're going through makes you feel much better. It's easier to bear a burden when you know you aren't carrying it alone.
I think you should give up trying to have conversations with your dad. He really doesn't sound mature enough to handle a daughter and he probably wont change at all until you are both years older. I know it hurts and you want your dad to talk to you and care about you, but sometimes dads just aren't worth the heartache. My dad and I don't even try to talk anymore, other than saying hi or bye. Things are awkward, but we can get along well enough to live with each other. I'm sure your dad cares about you, but he probably doesn't know how to express it. Let him make the effort to talk to you and know you; meanwhile, you need to focus on healing the damage he's already done to you.
I wish you the best of luck with this. Your dad has hurt you really badly (seriously, you may have this kind of anxiety and panic forever unless you get it treated). You never did anything to deserve this and I hope things get better for you.
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