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Divorce - Seek lawyer or sounds fair?
Hi,
I'm asking this on behalf of a friend who is unsure of what to do.
He's getting a divorce from a woman who cheated on him and carried a baby for nine months saying it was his before kicking him out of their house and telling him it isn't.
The lawyer she hired is a pro bono lawyer and is putting a lot of pressure on him to sign a document before tomorrow at 3 PM.
There's nothing really to fight over, but he's concerned that the lawyer is not making things fair for him.
He makes about $15 an hour, works full time, and is being asked to pay $600 a month in child support plus half of medical and all court costs.
There's no property to fight over. He's been paying money to what they both agreed was fair for child support. He's still paying for a credit card debt she racked up since before they were married. He's been agreeing to pay it off just so his soon to be ex wouldn't pressure more money from him.
He doesn't mind paying money to his kids. He pays more now, but doing it yourself and being forced to on paper and so on makes it feel unfair to him.
I'm not looking to get in the middle (I know I am since I'm asking for advice), but I wanted some tips on if I might suggest calling lawyers or if this sounds fair and it isn't of any use to fight this. He doesn't want to stir the pot and pay more out for a lawyer when it won't do any good. Any tips from divorced dads on this case?
Would just like to get some outside opinions on this situation and maybe what to expect. Thanks!
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Hi there,
Just about the worst mistake that could be made here is to sign that document without a lawyer of his own having a look.
If he agrees to things he may lose his chance to be treated fairly in the future.
I speak from experience. I very nearly allowed myself to be taken for a ride by signing what was demanded of me. Instead, I got a lawyer and he walked me through my options. I had a different situation in that she didn't want money and there weren't any kids involved, but she did insist on things that would limit my personal freedom in the future. Things she had no legal standing to ask.
My situation was much simpler than his. He needs a lawyer. Baby farming is really common.
You find a sucker who is reliable wage earner, but doesn't earn enough to think he can fight things in court (he can afford it, trust me) then you leave your boyfriend and go live with this guy for nine months or a year... when the baby comes you get the sucker to pay for your boyfriend's baby during the next 18 years. This is VERY common.
In some states, if you were married when the baby was born paternity doesn't matter at all. How sad is that?
Anyway, please urge him NOT to sign anything.
I wish him the best and I am sorry for his broken heart. I know how that feels. :'(
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Your friend should not sign anything without a lawyer of his own reviewing any legal document, this is first and foremost. Second: As hard as this may sound he must have his Lawyer insist on paternity tests for all children of this marriage. If his soon to be Ex has become pregnant by another man and tried to pass the child off as his then the possibility exist the other children of the marriage may not be his as well.
As for medical bills, debts of the marriage and other bills that is what his Lawyer will work out with her Lawyer. There may be state laws effecting the division of property and debts that without a Lawyer he would be ignorant of and be taken advantage of by his soon to be EX and her Lawyer for which he would have no recourse since he was not represented by a Lawyer.
So advise your friend to sign nothing and to get a Lawyer. Many Lawyers will work out a payment schedule with him. Just remember; in this world you get what you pay for. If she is getting free Legal advice that is probably just what it is worth. So have your friend find a Lawyer and pay for the advice. He will be glad that he did.
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First he needs his own lawyer. If he doesn't get one he will get screwed big time. He shouldn't sign ANYTHING, without having a lawyer look it over. Her lawyer will sneak something in there using legal language if not. So first & foremost he needs a lawyer.
He also needs a paternity test for the child she claims isn't his. A lawyer will be able to demand for him that she get one done.
Like it or not, any divorce needs things written out in a legal way on paper. His soon to be ex will probably be held responsible for half of any debt they incurred. She may have agreed to be fair, but she has a lawyer & will be talked into all sorts of things they DIDN'T agree to.
He really needs a lawyer ASAP. Tell him NOT to sign a thing until he has one.
Pro bono..because others don't seem to know what it means, simply means her lawyer is taking her case free of charge. It has nothing to do with the outcome of the divorce. He still needs his own representation.
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He needs paternity test, ASAP, no matter what the cost! If the baby is his, then, as unfair as it may sound, he is responsible to pay as much as the court deems. However, if he is not the father, he is not responsible for anything beyond what he chooses to be and he can save himself $600/month. Seems worth it in the face of whatever a paternity test costs. Get the test. NOW!
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I'm not a divoriced dad but my father is. It was really hard going through the divorice with my mom, and its never gonna be easy. But when my father finished paying out money to the expensive lawyer, he has paid more to him then he would have for the child support my mom originally wanted. Sometimes its best to go probono, sign the papers and move on with your life. He needs to realize how much its going to cost him to take any more action with this case. His wife was terrible for doing that to him and he needs to know that by hiring anyother lawyer its going to cause him more pain and prove that she wins in the end. Fight back by taking the easy way out and making life simple. Good luck!
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