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Getting Past Bad Blood
I found out today that my ex-boyfriend from a couple years ago was invited to the same small new year's party as me. I haven't been able to stand being around him since we broke up, and every time I'm in a room with him, we end up fighting. I would love to hear anyone's suggestions as to how I can work through these bad emotions. I really don't want my new year's eve to be ruined by negative feelings for one person. I get really worked up every time I even think about being around him, though. How can I stay calm?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
if you just stay with your friends but tell them about your fears of an argument, they can help keep you two seperate, or warn you if things start to heat up. Just be as friendly as you can but avoid long conversation
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well just think how embarrasing it would be when everyone around you would be hearing you guys fight. or you could not go to the party. or you could stay only around your friends and if you see him ignore him you dont have to go up to him to say anything dont even stare at him long enough becasue if he is the type where you look at him he will start the fight and say it was your fault beacase you were looking at him. just keep distracting yourself tell your friends to help you out.
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Its hard. I've been there done that... its hard to have a simple conversation with an experience from my experience he still has feelings. Well the best way to handle it is be the bigger person be civil with him. For example "Hey _____! Hows it going? Listen can we just call a truths?" Or something to that affect tell him you don't want to ruin the new year and that be civil with each otehr maybe hard but youboth can work it out. If he refuses or is just being ignorant than just ignore and go have fun with other people. In the end its his loss not yours.
Good luck and Happy Holidays!
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It's hard to deal with those awkward moments when you run into your ex at mutual friend's get-togethers, but moreso, trying to just act normal when you still have those negative feelings pinned up inside. I want to say that its a choice to either let those emotional feelings come out, or just say to yourself, hey, it's all in the past.
Your past is supposed to be reflected on to look at your life lessons. He is from your past, and your break up will serve as a reminder of what you learned in that relationship and avoid the same issues in your next relationship. You should totally want to move forward with your life and not let this one little individual bring out a side of you that you don't like being, you know?
It's going to be a New Year, and hopefully you will not want to let another year after your break up have any further negative influences on your emotions.
Keep your chin up and find that inner strength to get passed the Past :-)
Go to that Party and look forward to having a great time. Get happy drunk and don't sweat what he's going to make you possibly feel like!
Enjoy yourself and be safe!!!
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You are completely right, negative thoughts is never the best way to start off a new year. New Years mean New Start, right?
My advice to act maturely like an adult. Don't bring up anything negative from the past because its over. Any negative past thoughts are not worth reminiscing. Just think of it as a fire. If you keep feeding it, it will grow. You don't want that.
What you want is a friendship with your ex. A truce. None of you are right, but none of you are wrong, either.
If he starts off the fight, don't fight back. Just say something like:
"I don't want to fight anymore. We broke up because we didn't want to fight anymore. There's no point in this.....what do you say? Can we just be regular friends?"
I apologize for my long answer, but I do hope you tend to it. Let me know how things work out for you after that New Year's party :)
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