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Will sex change us?
I'm love my boyfriend and he loves me. Neither of us is religious so we don't really believe in the whole "wait until you're married" thing. We've done everything except sex. He wants to have sex, and I do too, but I'm kind of scared it might change our relationship. Lately all we've been talking about is having sex, and I'm afraid once we do, there's not really going to be a meaning to our relationship anymore. I brought this up to him and he said that he doesn't look forward to sex as much as he looks forward to seeing me and just hanging out with me. So maybe I'm just paranoid, but does sex change a relationship? Did it ever change yours? Please don't tell me "if you're asking questions then you aren't ready for sex" because I think it helps to ask questions so you can prepare for sex :) Oh and we're both virgins if that helps. Thanks!
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You sound just like me when I was 16. My boyfriend and I were together for a while and our hormones were going crazy. We both wanted to have sex but I was afraid that it would change our relationship for the worse. We were both also virgins like you guys. Long story short, eventually we did have sex and it didn't change our relationship at all. Its no different except we get to have a little more fun every once in a while, if you know what I mean *wink, wink* =)
Do whatever you feel is right. If you feel like your relationship is strong enough to handle a milestone such as sex then go for it. Best of luck.
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hey girl, yes sex deffinitely changes a relationship. im 18 and i had sex with my bf when i was 16. we went out for a year. 3 months after we had sex we broke up. he started to disrespect me and treat me really bad. if i had a chance to take it all back i would. im not here to lecture you bc its yer choice but jus for a minute put all emotions aside and think about the cons to sex..possible pregnancy so you better be covered caz condoms can break..and you might want to get on birth control. just be careful and make sure you two really care for eachother and have thought about all the possiblities bc if you get pregnant will he stay by your side or leave you?
goodluck!
<3 heatherr
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Yes, sex does definitely change a relationship in many ways, and it can makes things a lot harder and mess things up. You didn't mention how long you've been together, but I'm also wondering how serious your relationship is. Do you plan on marrying this guy or being with him for a long time? If you do, I would at least wait longer. I know you don't believe in abstinence until marriage (and neither did I), but something to think about: If you have sex now, what does it leave to look forward to when you're married? Waiting doesn't hurt any and will only make it better.
And if you do decide to, use every precaution possible. Get on birth control (if you are a teen and have parents that won't let you, go to your local Planned Parenthood) and use condoms- not just one or the other, both.
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Sex will change your relationship. No doubt about it. You are not being paranoid. It doesn't have to be a bad change if you are smart about it.
Being ready for sex doesn't mean you have to do it NOW. As a teen, you have a lot of real good reasons to wait. This isn't a lecture, I was 16 when I had sex the first time. I was also pregnant & married a year later. So, I can see it from both sides!
The main change will be a switch from talking about it all the time, to doing it all the time. It can be annoying because quite honestly, it can seem at times to be the ONLY thing you get done doing.
I think it is great you are talking about it. Most young couples just jump right into it without a lot of thought. So you are on the the right track. Just make sure you consider all possible things & have a plan before you take that next step. It has the power to drastically change not only your relationship, but your entire life.
The decision is yours to make. Be smart & be safe no matter what you decide. Never take chances because its just to big a risk. :)
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I feel that if both people are ready, and truly love each other, then sex enhances the relationship, makes it better, solidifies a bond you share.
Sex ruins things if one person in the relationship is only looking for sex, or if one person was not ready, or if one person obsesses over it,
But after talks about protection, the meaning of sex, and after both people in the relationship feel totally comfortable sex can be a wonderful PART of a relationship. Sex is not THE relationship, just a part that is not the most important part.
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