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losing virginity
Hi Advicenators.
I'm 15 years old. I've been with my current boyfriend for 7 months now. We have a slight on and off relationship, but it's been good for a few months now. We are both virgins.
We are in love. There is no doubt about that.
We are 100% open with each other sexually, we have done everything but penetration sex. if something embarrassing happens, it's totally okay, we continue and laugh it off.
Recently, we both really started wanting sex. But I'm TERRIFIED of a condom breaking, and me getting pregnant. Please help me. I'm just so scared. But I really am ready for sex. I can't get on birth control by the way. Any advice
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hey, im gonna be honest and tell you that i dont like to be negative in my responses you can check my column and see that, so lets see, if the only thing keeping you from haveing sex is the condom breaking i say go for it :) i know theirs a chance of it breaking but hey you only get one chance to live and if your ready like you say you are then do it, also you said you both are very open so when you are done haveing sex (i know this sounds wierd) just take off the condom and go to the bathroom and fill it with water and you can tell if water comes out theirs a hole abviously, and if no water comes out then it didnt break.,. and lets say it did break you can buy a pill callewd morning after pill and it will stop the pregnancy,.just be carefull :) sex is very fun but only when you are worry free. if you cant be on birth controle then the condom is your best friend, adn i know the water thing is wierd but better safe than sorry :D
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Why can't you get on birth control? If you go to a place like Planned Parenthood, you can get it for free and without your parents ever finding out.
When properly used, condoms are 98% effective. However, in reality, the number is much, much lower, since a lot of things can go wrong. If you're on birth control, it makes the chances of getting pregnant much smaller. If you're as scared as you say you are, maybe you aren't ready. There's really no hurry, you are pretty young, and definitely couldn't handle a baby at your age, right? If you can't get on birth control (and still use condoms and pulling out), I don't recommend having sex at all.
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Although I do agree with Bahai, you shouldn't be terrified. Go on the pill, stay on it for at least two months before having sex, so your body gets used to it and then you can have fun, if your boyfriend wears a condom. You'll be protected, he'll be protected.
You still need to be careful, but not just terrified. I was too, effing nervous about the chance of pregnancy, but I pulled myself together, got on the pill and discussed it through with my boyfriend, and it all ended fine.
If you can't ask your mom about the pill, you can go to a family planning centre where you get it for free, or arrange a doctor's meeting on your own.
Be as careful as possible, but don't obsess and have fun ;)
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dont listen to what the other chick/guy said.
you need to do sime researh wether it be internet or friends and discus it with you boyfriend. babies are not chep but you have the otion to abort the pregancey and not have the baby anyway
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Okay here it goes...
You SHOULD be terrified, Why? because there is NO such thing as safe sex. I advise you to think long and hard about having sex with your boyfriend. The main question you should think about is "It worth having sex with your boyfriend for a few hours and having risking the chance of having a baby forever? then to continue to be safe and not have sex at all"
Babies are NOT cheap, A bottle of formula to last one week is about 25 dollars.. Then the diapers antoher 20 dollars, crib, high chair, car seat, clothes, play pen, etc. You are looking at A LOT of money.
If you want to be 100% safe than maybe you should stick to fooling around. I hate too tell you but not even the pull out metheod always work as sometimes that is why people end up pregnant also.
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If you are TERRIFIED of a condom breaking, then you aren't ready hun.
You might be ready is all other ways, but if you are missing that one, then you aren't ready.
Sex is risky. It's just is. The younger you are, the higher the cost of those risks. If you are living in a life where you can't even access birth control, then yeah, sex is a HUGE risk for you. It might be okay that it terrifies you. It's IS terrifying. Pregnancy should absolutely terrify any teen, unless they are a moron.
Here are the facts:
Condoms can break. Mostly due to improper usage or storage. So, if you store a condom properly, and both you and your boyfriend read instructions on how to probably use one, you are as safe as you will ever be.
It's still possible that a condom might break. That is ALWAYS possible. You can of course decrease the likelihood, but if you are terrified of even the tiny possibility of a splitting condom, then you simply aren't ready.
'Cause the way you get unterrified, is when you are say, like me: 24, employeed and confident that even if that tiny risk DOES happen, you can cope with the love and support of those around you and give a child a good life.
So, wait. Wait until you are either un-terrified, or until you have access to an appropraite back-up plan like the birth control pill or the morning after pill.
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