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best friend with my cousin. problem?
i'm 19 years old, female. my cousin is 17.
me and him are really close. we hang out all the time and just always have a good time together. the dumb thing is that people think that we are dating! uhm hellooo? he is my COUSIN. people keep telling me, "you need to stop hanging out with him, people are starting to think you two are dating" and tonight my uncle was like youre not dating him are you? and i started laughing because how rediculous is that? and he was like see you cant even look at me and say youre not! i was like honestly, do you think i would ever ever EVER do that? its not like we flirt with each other, thats disgusting. we're just always together. whats so wrong with that? apparently there is something....
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Don't worry, if they think you're dating then they are insane. i love my cousins to bits, and i understand completely. if someone says that again, just laugh and be like, 'i dunno what you do with you cousins, but thats not how we do it!'. you shouldn't feel strange about being close to your cousin, you should be glad! of all the things to make you feel weird about, that shouldn't be one of them.
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Don't rise or react to the comments other people say otherwise it looks like they've touched a sore nerve. He's like a blood related best friend :) Who cares what other people think. Sometimes people hang out because they have a good connection! Just forget what they say, you know the truth, he knows the truth - doesn't matter what anyone else says, no matter what you do, someone always picks on eachother for something, yours is just your friendship with your cousin. Just ignore them.
Sadie :)
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If you know you aren't dating him then why worry. You know the truth and that's all that matters. Don't worry what other people think.
Please rate :]
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Hun who cares what people think. My husband was very close with one of his female cousins they were always together. its good your close to your family.
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I'm very close with the majority of my cousins, so I understand what it's like to be best friends with them or maybe even like siblings. However, I've never been in a situation where people took our closeness as being more than just family.
I think you're fine. There's nothing wrong with being close with your family. You're just tight knit & that's definitely okay. Just keep telling people you're not dating, and that's it's more of a bond you'd have with a brother or a sister. That's honestly all it is. :)
Nothing's wrong with hanging out a lot and being close. You're definitely okay. Don't listen to the them, okay? :) You're good.
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who cares!? your family gfor crying out loud family can hang out with each other for as much as they want cause their family. he's your cousin! my gosh:O there's nothing wrong with u hanging out with your cousin they just dont like the fact that your hangig out with him soo much but who cares what they think if you enjoy hanging out with your cousin then by all means hang out with them. in a different way i'm dealing with the same problem with my family except i cant hang out with my cousin cause i'm too old to hang out with him.. i mean come on how gay is that?
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I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.
I read your letter and immediately saw my son and two nieces. The three are nine months apart in each direction with my son being the middle child. Living as close as we did to them they grew up almost like brother and sisters. My son has always been very protective of his cousins and has challenged several others both bigger and smaller than him who has dared to hurt them. Today they are all grown and live in three different parts of the country. They communicate daily on facebook and email. When they were younger and didn’t have a date for the evening they would all or in twos go out together. Even today when they are in one place together they rather spend time together then do anything else. They all have significant others all of whom get along with the others when they are together.
I write this to tell you your relationship with your cousin is not unique. Neither is the reaction you are seeing from seeing from some of the adults and friends. Personally I don’t understand how people, especially adults can have this type of reaction, for in the end all we have is family. What really counts is that you and your cousins know what you are to each other and you are not anything more than two people who enjoy each other’s company.
Just for the record the U.S. is virtually alone among developed nations in outlawing marriage among first cousins. European countries have no such prohibition. There are a variety of reasons for this among them being a higher incidence of birth defects among first cousin marriages. Scientists have since disproved this thought finding that the incidence is no higher than a 40 year old women giving birth for the first time.
For what it is worth; you have a very unique relationship with your cousin, one few people get to enjoy. So enjoy your relationship with him and don’t let other peoples dirty thoughts ruin a treasured friendship.
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Who cares?! You guys are best friends, of course you'll be together constantly. So basically people are inferring that you two are going out and you're FAMILY! (Ew) Since when was it a crime to be best friends with a relative... NEVER! As long as you know in your heart your not doing anything wrong. Forget about everything and everyone else. You are always going to find somebody judging you in one way or another. Don't bother with it... let them talk and just live your life to the fullest with no regrets =]
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Some people just have one-track minds, in that they see to people together having fun and automatically assume that there can only be love involved. My friends always do this to me when I'm with my female friends and I think in some cases its because we're having fun and they're not so they get frustrated and one of the ways to get rid of the frustration is to blurt out some accusation to try prevent us from being happy and making us unhappy like them.
Don't worry about it anyway, as long as you're sure in you're mind of whats going on, you shouldn't let anyone make you're friendship uncomfortable in anyway, especially since you seem to enjoy hangin up so much. If it is a friendship then it is completely absolutely normal, it just happens to be with you're cousin, thats all. You got lucky, not everyones family is like that, which is probably another factor in that other people don't get on with their relatives as well.
So count yourself lucky and just ignore what everyone else says, you're doing nothing wrong =)
MIke =)
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