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AFRAID and needing to know!!
14/f
My exboyfriend/friend told me he loved me and got me single and commited only to him for two months. Then we fooled around (no sex) and he's not been the same. Tonight He just went off on me for asking him if he lied to me.
"Yea I lied to you. I felt bad for you and your lonely ass. I felt bad for you this whole year. you'be always been beneath me (he's a foot taller and literally means it. He feels bad cuz he's even told me he feels like he's got more authority just by being bigger) and youre mad because I never flet the same way about you. I'm not even trippin right now so you can say whatever you want and get lost."
He told everyone he knew that he scored...
I'm really trusting and wanted to believe everything he'd tell me because I really thought he cared. But apparently not.
He begged me to stay with him. He cried after randomly blowing up multiple times at me and apologizing. He did everything to make me believe he cared.
I'm naive and believed him.
Can guys really lie like this, this easily??? Should I not trust guys anymore??? because honestly, I'm scared....I know just saying straight out that I'm scared may seem a bit irrational but...really. I don't want to go through this ever again.
any advice will be greatly appreciated. really any, you have no idea.
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LEAVE HIM tha is not worth it! you are a trong and powerful woman! you are beneath no one! be strong, be yourself, he is not the one for you, you deserve so much better
miyuki rini
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he sounds like a player to me. and not even a very good one. yeah. he lied. but trust me, he didnt do it because he cared about you and felt sorry for you, he did it because he wanted to fool around with you. and then when he did, he (duh) told people about it. hes just a jerk that isnt worth your time. so forget about him. who cares if hes crying and screaming, let him be baby because i bet this is the first time he didnt get what he wanted from a girl. find a better guy. theyre out there.
kyle
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Some people can lie this easily. Guys and Girls. Teens and Adults and even the elderly ;)
And yes, you should keep trusting guys, and other people too. Because not trusting a whole group of people, like guys, or Asians, or people who like cats, or even the elderly, is wrong. More importantly: Not trusting people automatically makes you miserable, lonely, and cuts you off from other human beings.
You should be careful, and keep your eyes open (and you will!) You should learn from this, and keep your eyes open for similar manipulates: People who cry and name call and blow up. People who drag you back to them with threats and tears and then push you away again. These people *might* care about you, but it's far more likely that they are just WAY too into themselves and all about what they feel and want.
I can't promise you this will never happen again. I can promise you this though:
It's worth it.
I've been burned and betrayed by people, and it was worth it. I did my best to avoid it, but in the end, I'd rather let someone in and be hurt, then never let anyone in at all.
And maybe this will be some small comfort to you: This guy, isn't just a liar. He's royally fucked up, and it's not about you.
Really, it isn't. A guy who throws tantrums, and then nasty letters like this, isn't dealing with you. He's dealing with his own lunacy, his own fears and his own selfish, obsessive worries. He's a basket case. He would have probably done just as bad to anyone, you just had the bad luck to fall into his line of fire. It wasn't your fault, and it has nothing to do with the person you are.
It's okay to be scarred. Relationships are scarry things. It's okay to be scarred now, and it's okay to turn to the next guy in your life and say “I'm scarred.” In many ways it's a good thing, because people who are scarred take things seriously and slow. So go ahead and be upset and frightened, but also decide in your mind that you WILL take the risk on a new guy some day.
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Okay, well this guy is obviously a jerk. To me, it seems like he's emotionally abusing you. Why do I think that? Because if he blows up at you multiple times..and then begs for forgiveness.. that is classified as emotional abuse. Don't let this guy do that to you! It's pretty much like a control thing. The only reason he's most likely crying is because he knows that will work on you everytime. Now..I'm not sure if he likes you or not. Maybe he does, but obviously he's not ready for any kind of relationship..he doesn't know how to treat women correctly.
Can guy's lie that easily? Yes! Believe me, they can, and they're very good at it. Some guy's will lie about ANYTHING in order to get what they want from you. It's sad..but true. I've had this happen to me once. The guy would flirt with me, tell me im beautiful, and then when he got what he wanted..he could care less whether or not he talked to me. One day, I asked him why he wasn't talking to me. And, this relates me to your situation, because he went off on me for a good 10 minutes about different things. You're not naive. When you like/love someone, you tend to look for the best in them. I did the same. Sometimes you think you can make them have feelings for you if you do stuff that they want. However, that doesn't work out often.
Don't let this guy discourage you from EVER trusting again! Not all guy's are like that. It doesn't matter if you're 14 or not, I understand that when you like someone it's hard to let go. But, I think you should (if you're still with him) let go. Because, this guy will keep doing what he's doing for as long as you let him. It's up to you to end it. I can't guarantee that you'll never be heartbroken again, because well, you're young. It happens sometimes. But, I know you'll find someone good who will treat you a lot better than this guy!
Good luck, hope I helped! :)
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That does not sound like a true boyfriend if you ask me, Not only is he extremely immature but manipulitive at the same time. You need to decide for yourself, Is this what you really want to deal with? You are only 14, He will not be the only one you date in your lifetime and I can guarrantee it. Any guy who lies in a relationship is not only dishonest but as time goes on and you fall into his lies it only gets worse. I think you need to get rid of this guy he doesn't sound worthwhile. Not only does he look down at you but he manipulates you. Don't let him do the whole sympathy story "Oh please take me back, I'm sorry I love you" stand your ground you are stronger than that. If you continue to stay with him not only will he continue to make you feel 2 feet tall but he might continue to manipulate you as well as he now knows he can get away with it. You need to stand up for yourself and let him know that you won't tolorate his shit.
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look your only 14 and im sure that the ex was around your age..& if he wasnt he needs to grow up..But the thing is that not all guys are the same, but you cant also trust every guy you just meet bcoz some are real jerks like your ex..2 months really is not long and since you gave it to him quickly and didnt make him wait for it..Im guessing...well everyone always learn from their previous relationship so this is a lesson learned.. You can trust guys but not so quickly, it takes time. you dont want him to think that he got you like that. & honestly i dont think he meant what he said, he must of been mad & went off on you..I say to dont even be friends with him, he sounds like a guy who noone wanna be with. Theres plenty more nice guys out there.
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Well, to be honest, every guy has the potential to be like that guy. Not every one of them are like him, but a third of them are. All you have to do is be carful.
I think there is a reason to be scared because you never know what a guy is like unless you've been friends with them for years and know them well enough. But this isn't always the case.
I think you just need to be careful in who you trust, but, of course, you never know who to trust. But this is OK. Everyone in the world is like that. Some people might not believe their parents in things. It's just the way of life.
Good luck in the future :)
Jess Ox'
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