My bf of 4 years told me to take a break about three days ago...i dont understand why he would ask me that bcoz he was the one who messed up..we constanly aruged becoz his girl friends from school kept texting him, and it really bothered me alot..i even cried and told him that i dont appreciate them texting you and he seemed to not do anything about it...so we got into this really deep arugement about the girls texting him....n now he wants a break..i dont understand why he would want to take a break instead of trying to change and work things out for me....He thinks that since we been together for long and wanna get married in the future that its ok for him to take advantage of me and do wat he wants bcoz imma always be with him..idk what to do.....im just really mad that he taking a break with me...
I understand that 4 years is a long time, but being with someone for a long time doesn't mean you're allowed to be their mother too. You are not entitled to tell your boyfriend who he can & cannot be friends with. Same goes to your boyfriend telling you.
He's not taking advantage of you. He just wants friends & you're holding him back. If he wanted to cheat on you, he probably would've done so by now. [ christina's advice column | Ask christina A Question ]
DrNeice answered Wednesday July 29 2009, 4:54 pm: if he wants to take a break he dont really like you so you can do better than him and you is rite he do not appreticate you and he is just taking advantage of you and there is many boy in the world that is better than that JERK!!!!!! [ DrNeice's advice column | Ask DrNeice A Question ]
Razhie answered Wednesday July 29 2009, 1:53 pm: He wants to break because he doesn't intend to change his way of dealing with text messages from his friends, and since the two of you can't seem to work out a compromise on that issue that works for both of you, he decided he needed to stop arguing about it and just take a break.
He's not necessarily the one who 'messed up'. He's just the one who decided 'Nope. I'm not going to change this.' So he was wise to speak up and get some distance.
I have two things for you to think about:
One. If you truly think this guy is taking advantage of you by speaking to other girls, then maybe this relationship has run it's course. Obviously, you don't want to be with someone who takes advantage of you, and it's clear he doesn't want to be with someone who tries to stop him from communicating with his females friends in this way.
Two. If you really want to be with him, maybe you can find a way to live with the fact he has female friends. When we are young teenagers it's pretty normal for the girlfriend or boyfriend to be our only really close friend of the opposite sex, but as we get older and mature, we collect more friends of the opposite sex. There is nothing wrong with that. It's completely natural and part of growing up. So, unless any of his female friends have behaved inappropriately, either by heavily flirting with him or pawing at him, maybe it's time for you to accept that part of being adult is being 'just friends' with members of the opposite sex, and to have some faith in your boyfriend.
The simplest truth in the universe is this: If someone wants to cheat, they are going to cheat.
Even if you can manage to demand that girls not text your boyfriend, he could still cheat if he wanted too.
If he doesn't want to cheat, he never will, no matter how much texting he does.
You aren't defending your relationship by demanding he stop communicating with all other girls, you are dooming it. Unless there is a specific girl who you are concerned about for real reasons, then your boyfriend deserves your trust. Anything less then that will kill your relationship. [ Razhie's advice column | Ask Razhie A Question ]
iiLOvEyOux3 answered Wednesday July 29 2009, 12:59 pm: Some times a little break is what both couples need. If you guys were together for four years, I don't think he can just end it like that. He wants a little space probably from all the arguing and fighting and you need it too. He'll start to miss you and you will start to miss him, and then maybe you will get back together, and put all those little arguments away.I do agree though it's pretty stupid if he didn't do anything about the texts when it hurts you so much. Think about this though, if your boyfriend didn't flirt with those girls that texted him then he probably felt attacked when you kept getting mad over it and accusing him of things.But if he was flirting with the girls then you don't need a guy like that anyway. [ iiLOvEyOux3's advice column | Ask iiLOvEyOux3 A Question ]
sml111992 answered Wednesday July 29 2009, 12:35 pm: no ones perfect he probally hates that you guys are fighting all the time and if your looking through his phone he might be thinking second thoughts about you guys you told him you dont like it. i wouldnt like it either just give him time. dont be mad he wants a break you also take this time to think about your self thats the whole point of being on the break. hopefully things work out if not then it doesnt you can always find someone else. [ sml111992's advice column | Ask sml111992 A Question ]
della22 answered Wednesday July 29 2009, 12:34 pm: Well it could be one of many things...
He could first of all be feeling really tied down and since you guys seem to be young, that can be a scary thing for a guy. He could also want to expierment with other girls, guessing that since you've been together for so long he hasnt been with other girls. Or he could just be tired of fighting over small things and simply just want a break. But either way, you shouldnt wait around for him. You should go out and see what else there is. Im not saying go out there and have sex with a bunch of guys, but go out there and meet people. It would be good for you. And you dont want to become your bf's door mat. You cant let him get the idea that he can go out there and hook up with other girls, and youll always be waiting for him. Be stronger then this. I went through this same exact thing in hs so i know how it feels. [ della22's advice column | Ask della22 A Question ]
Sweet_LiL_Angel answered Wednesday July 29 2009, 12:32 pm: Sweetie.. guys will be guys you have to find the one who will give up almost everything for you and still be happy. I wouldnt want boyfriend texting other females either.. he doesnt want to give up them girls.. he figures he can take a break with you and still talk to them girls. [ Sweet_LiL_Angel's advice column | Ask Sweet_LiL_Angel A Question ]
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