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I feel like I'm being judged for being a Christian at my OBGYN!
I went to my OB today because I found out that I was pregnant last week at my 6 week check up (I have a 2 month old at home and another child under 1 year). My doctor asked me today why I refused birth control, although I already told them that birth control is against my religion. I repeated myself today and felt odd since I KNOW I had already explained this.
The doctor then nodded her head and said, "Well, that is just silly," in a very demeaning tone of voice. I was so offended I told her, "My faith is no laughing matter." I was just very upset and I still am. I need a doctor that will take me seriously.
I am not a government case, I am not an unmarried mother, and I am not on food rations or food stamps. If I want to have all of the children that God allows me to be blessed with then I don't understand the issue.
I am a mother and wife. I am also the daughter of very wealthy philanthropists who have provided myself, my husband, and our future children with the means to take care of our needs.
Why am I being judged when I can take care of any children I have, and why am I being judged when I want to have 15+ children? Should I switch to a doctor that will not pressure me to go against my beliefs?
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It sounds to me as though the doctor is referring to your refusal to take birth control (since you already have two very young children), not the fact that you are a christian, as "silly". It still wasn't an appropriate comment to make, but slightly less offensive.
If you are uncomfortable with this doctor, then absolutely switch to a new one.
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Laws against birth control are human made, not divine. This is a FACT.
Thus, if you refuse Birth control because of your religion you are following man's law, not God's. This is also a FACT.
If you choose to follow the dictates of a corrupt institution that creates rules solely for its own propagation through excessive breeding of its members and treat it as devine edict, you will be looked at like an idiot by the majority of the world.
This, too, is a FACT.
By the way, you are being judged because one woman cannot be mother to 15 children in a way that allows you to truly influence, guide, and care for these children's lives. I'd say the upper limit is probably four kids, if you have more than that every kid you have means time sacrificed from what your other kids will need. Its selfish and irresponsible, you garner satisfaction from reproducing because you're stuck in the BC era when women were property with a reproductive function and you try to ascribe holy intent to your selfish whims.
Its irresponsible, its immature, it shows that you haven't emotionally matured past 16 or 17, and that you shouldn't be mother to one kid let alone 15.
That is, of course, my opinion. But as your question shows you to be a bit unbalanced and I know that I am not, I'm right and you are wrong.
Pity, you'll probably just give me a low feedback score and move on with your life rather than make a change that people other than you and the fanatics you go to services with see as "positive"
By the way, I'm Christian. And I still think that 15 kids is the height of parental selfishness and irresponsibility.
Your faith is a laughing matter. Thats from a fellow Christian. You've bought into religion when you should be focusing on spirituality. But then, if you could think that far past what you've been taught your entire life and had any critical thinking capacity whatsoever, you'd realize that children have needs that extend outside of money, and you'd realize that you are not supermom and that you cannot possibly provide for your childrens emotional and mental growth if you've got 15 of them. You're about to have three kids under 3 years old? You're insane. Truly, certifiably insane.
I hope CPS intervenes before these children suffer too much, but then if you have the money to pay for the kids they usually leave it alone.
Pity, because I'm sure there are plenty of parents who can't conceive who would love a child and whom would take far better care of them than you do.
Children are a gift, not a duty. I promise, when you stand for judgment, you will have to answer for what you are doing to your kids. Ignorance will not be an excuse.
::Edit::
Oh, and as to the doctor, find a new one. A doctor has every right to look at you like you're crazy. Religious discrimination only applies to denial of service. You have the right to be treated as any other patient, which means that they give you the same quality of medical care only. Anyone who desires is free to laugh at your stupidity and short sightedness, and its well within her rights to refuse medical care to you if you get in her face about it. So suck it up, or go look for another doctor.
And I wouldn't recommend you file complaints against her. First, it won't do anything if the actual medical care is the same, and second you open yourself up to defamation of character lawsuits should your doctor be so inclined.
::Edit2::
I love how a woman who's being taken care of by her father (and thus seems to still lack any sense of personal responsibility) is so convinced she will make a good mother.
What have you accomplished besides getting yourself knocked up and believing in Jesus? What example do you have to provide your children? What could you teach a daughter who wants to have a career, to get through college, to actually make something of herself?
Nothing, probably.
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You doctor is providing a service to you, and she is being payed a lot of money by you or your insurance for this service. If she makes you uncomfortable in any way, then you should go to a better doctor. I also think that she should know why you are switching. Maybe that will help her think before she speaks to her future patients.
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first how long have you been going to this doctor? 2nd do you no how many women she sees in a day,week,month? 3rd are you sure she remembers what you said? i would doubt that she wrote it down in your records. if it was me an my wifes family doctor i would take it as friendly statement as we considered him as a friend also. i was married 47 yrs till she past away. we only had two children. it was are choice an was also agaist my reliion. we didnt stop having sex just practice more control in our yonger years. then later it didnt matter so you have a contolled sex life in between. give the doc the benifit of noy being nasty just expressing her feelings to a friend. would you get mad at your best friend if they said that to you?? i doubt it very much!if so then you haVE A VERY THIN SKIN! PEACE BITTERNESS HELPS NO ONE. BROKENWING
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I find that I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you might receive from others. My advice is more like what you might get if you asked a grandparent.
If you are uncomfortable with a doctor for any reason you should find a new doctor. In this instance you have every right not only to find a new doctor but to demand an apology from your current doctor. Unless your pregnancy or future pregnancy was a danger to your health, your doctor had not right to say that to you. Her professional and personal beliefs should be kept separate.
I would also file a complaint in regard to this doctor's professionalism. Where I live you would contact the State Department of Health and Mental Hygiene. Under that heading you would then go to Health Professional Licensing to find the Licensing Board for the Specialty of your Doctor. This is the Board you would file your complaint with.
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You should absolutely switch doctors. Your OBGYN is not there to judge you based on religion and your decisions. They are there to help do what's best for you, your health, and your children's health. If you feel uncomfortable at your OB from that comment, switch. There's no need to stick around with someone who's going to be rude to you.
She's your doctor, not anyone else and should not be judging you for what you want/believe in.
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I am a christian and I think you are following our faith in a strong way and that is very encouraging to know that there are people keep to their beliefs.
I must say a doctors/OB'S shouldnt even be able to give an opinion, and judge you, they get paid to help your through your situation , not to discriminate against your religion.
I mean, how can you feel comfortable around a doctor knowing that underneath their reassurance and sincere smiles, they are thinking something else.
You were right to stick up for yourself. For that, I smile, and I am sure God will be pleased by your strength.
I don't know where,but go complain somewhere -send an email or a telephone someone - because they are not allowed to say that to you.thy have discriminated you, and God's rules.
Then switch to another doctor,
one that wont judge you, or if you ask, one that is religious
Hope I helped
Sage:)
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I'm a Christian too and I know that no where in the Bible does it say that birth control is a sin.
It's just her opinion. If she's a good doctor, you shouldn't leave just because she gave you her opinion.
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This is what you need to do:
Find a new OB.
Find one that knows and UNDERSTANDS your beliefs from the very get-go. If they can't accept you for who you are, they don't deserve your money for their half-hearted services, now do they?
I could see if they had concern for your health, having so many kids, but your beliefs are NOT silly, nor should they be treated as such by someone so nearly intimately close to you.
ygs=31/f
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