I've been dating my boyfriend for about three months, and even though we are not the same religion, it's not an issue because we're both open-minded and we don't try to push our ideas on each other. But his mother is very religiously Catholic, and she told my bf that she thinks I'm corrupting him because I'm Buddhist. In truth, my bf has been Agnostic for almost 2 years, and I have nothing to do with his religious point of view.
My bf also told his mom that we're sexually active, assuring her that we always have protected sex and that we're in love. His mom flipped, said I was tearing her family apart, and now he and I can't hang out at his house- we have to go out or chill at MY house.
He and I are both committed to this relationship, and we're planning on staying together for as long as possible. Is there anything I can do to get his mother's blessing?
jayz answered Thursday March 12 2009, 8:34 pm: well i think you should talk to her, call her on the phone and ask her if you to can sit down like to nomoral adults. let her know how you feel about her son and reasure her that he belives in his religion strongly. tell her that you love each outher nd nothing would make you more happy then to have her bleesing.
aliahellis answered Thursday March 12 2009, 5:20 pm: Maybe you could become catholic to gain his mothers respect! But if she is still not cooperating just tell her oof and tell her how you really feel, because sometimes only way to get respect from someone esspecially your boyfriend's mother you have to stand up to her! Im not saying you have to be disrespectful but let her knoe where your coming from! Oh and you may wann lie a little and tell her you guys arent haveing sex anymore, lol! :) [ aliahellis's advice column | Ask aliahellis A Question ]
Sweet_LiL_Angel answered Thursday March 12 2009, 2:39 pm: maybe you should write her a note or talk to her over the phone since your not allowed over there. let her no how you feel. tell her mam.. i really love your son and i would like to stay with him i just wish i can earn your blessing some way. let her know your son choice his religion on his own before we started dating. I dont mind what religion he is nor does he car what religion i am. its just our beliefs and we love each other. [ Sweet_LiL_Angel's advice column | Ask Sweet_LiL_Angel A Question ]
Razhie answered Thursday March 12 2009, 2:01 pm: Your boyfriend's mother doesn't hate you. Stop taking this personally. It's not presonal.
What she HATES is the way her son is behaving. Remember that. Repeat it to yourself if need be. Smile and be poliete and repeat, mantra-like in your mind "She is upset with her son's behavoir. Her anger isn't about me. She just thinks it is."
It's simply easier for her to think she hates you, then to face the fact that she and her son disgaree on thier religious beliefs and morals. She feels better hating you, then she would actually having a dialogue with her son, and finding a way to respect and live with his own choices.
Don't seek out her blessing. You wont get it, and at 19, neither of you need it. All you need is some basic respect, and it is your boyfriend who must demand that on your behalf. As for you, all you can do is be mature and poliete. Don't break her rules, don't argue with her, and don't offend her in your words or actions. Remember that her problem isn't actually with you, as much as she might think it is, so don't let it become about you by behaving in a way that justifies that belief. Instead, remember that her problem is with her son, and your only role in this is to support him and be civil to her. Remind your boyfriend that although you two are in a relationship, you aren't marriage yet! That means his relationship with his mother is still solely his responsibilty. You'll behave as well as you can, but he is the one who needs to make the real change. He sounds like he has a sound head on his shoulders, so just support and empower him to address this issue with his mother. [ Razhie's advice column | Ask Razhie A Question ]
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