Free AdviceGet Free Advice
Home | Get advice | Give advice | Topics | Columnists | - !START HERE! -
Make Suggestions | Sitemap

Get Advice


Search Questions

Ask A Question

Browse Advice Columnists

Search Advice Columnists

Chat Room

Give Advice

View Questions
Search Questions
Advice Topics

Login

Username:
Password:
Remember me
Register for free!
Lost Password?

Want to give Advice?

Sign Up Now
(It's FREE!)

Miscellaneous

Shirts and Stuff
Page Backgrounds
Make Suggestions
Site News
Link To Us
About Us
Terms of Service
Help/FAQ
Sitemap
Contact Us


His mother HATES me.


Question Posted Thursday March 12 2009, 10:34 am

19/f

I've been dating my boyfriend for about three months, and even though we are not the same religion, it's not an issue because we're both open-minded and we don't try to push our ideas on each other. But his mother is very religiously Catholic, and she told my bf that she thinks I'm corrupting him because I'm Buddhist. In truth, my bf has been Agnostic for almost 2 years, and I have nothing to do with his religious point of view.

My bf also told his mom that we're sexually active, assuring her that we always have protected sex and that we're in love. His mom flipped, said I was tearing her family apart, and now he and I can't hang out at his house- we have to go out or chill at MY house.

He and I are both committed to this relationship, and we're planning on staying together for as long as possible. Is there anything I can do to get his mother's blessing?


[ Answer this question ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?


boyycrazy answered Thursday March 12 2009, 11:14 pm:
i say the easiest thing to do is to talk to his mother straight up. tell her whats going on between her son and you, state the fact that you had nothing to do with is religious views and that you like her son too much and you dont want to "hide from a person so close to the person you're in love with"

i really hope she understands, try to be really nice but not to the point where you look fake

boyycrazy :]

[ boyycrazy's advice column | Ask boyycrazy A Question
]




jayz answered Thursday March 12 2009, 8:34 pm:
well i think you should talk to her, call her on the phone and ask her if you to can sit down like to nomoral adults. let her know how you feel about her son and reasure her that he belives in his religion strongly. tell her that you love each outher nd nothing would make you more happy then to have her bleesing.

hope i helped if i did and u want anymore advice you can email me at jayhowell48@yahoo.com

[ jayz's advice column | Ask jayz A Question
]



aliahellis answered Thursday March 12 2009, 5:20 pm:
Maybe you could become catholic to gain his mothers respect! But if she is still not cooperating just tell her oof and tell her how you really feel, because sometimes only way to get respect from someone esspecially your boyfriend's mother you have to stand up to her! Im not saying you have to be disrespectful but let her knoe where your coming from! Oh and you may wann lie a little and tell her you guys arent haveing sex anymore, lol! :)

[ aliahellis's advice column | Ask aliahellis A Question
]



Sweet_LiL_Angel answered Thursday March 12 2009, 2:39 pm:
maybe you should write her a note or talk to her over the phone since your not allowed over there. let her no how you feel. tell her mam.. i really love your son and i would like to stay with him i just wish i can earn your blessing some way. let her know your son choice his religion on his own before we started dating. I dont mind what religion he is nor does he car what religion i am. its just our beliefs and we love each other.

[ Sweet_LiL_Angel's advice column | Ask Sweet_LiL_Angel A Question
]



Razhie answered Thursday March 12 2009, 2:01 pm:
Your boyfriend's mother doesn't hate you. Stop taking this personally. It's not presonal.

What she HATES is the way her son is behaving. Remember that. Repeat it to yourself if need be. Smile and be poliete and repeat, mantra-like in your mind "She is upset with her son's behavoir. Her anger isn't about me. She just thinks it is."

It's simply easier for her to think she hates you, then to face the fact that she and her son disgaree on thier religious beliefs and morals. She feels better hating you, then she would actually having a dialogue with her son, and finding a way to respect and live with his own choices.

Don't seek out her blessing. You wont get it, and at 19, neither of you need it. All you need is some basic respect, and it is your boyfriend who must demand that on your behalf. As for you, all you can do is be mature and poliete. Don't break her rules, don't argue with her, and don't offend her in your words or actions. Remember that her problem isn't actually with you, as much as she might think it is, so don't let it become about you by behaving in a way that justifies that belief. Instead, remember that her problem is with her son, and your only role in this is to support him and be civil to her. Remind your boyfriend that although you two are in a relationship, you aren't marriage yet! That means his relationship with his mother is still solely his responsibilty. You'll behave as well as you can, but he is the one who needs to make the real change. He sounds like he has a sound head on his shoulders, so just support and empower him to address this issue with his mother.

[ Razhie's advice column | Ask Razhie A Question
]

More Questions:

<<< Previous Question: do I have a right to be a LITTLE bit angry/disappointed?
Next Question >>> chipped enamel for tongue piercing?

Recent popular questions:
Want to give advice?

Click here to start your own advice column!

What happened here with my gamer friends?

All content on this page posted by members of advicenators.com is the responsibility those individual members. Other content © 2003-2014 advicenators.com. We do not promise accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any advice and are not responsible for content.

Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content.
Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.

[Valid RSS] eXTReMe Tracker