|
So, there are these two girls...
So, I've been dating this girl for a while now. She's really great. I love her and care about her and everything, but I have feelings for this other girl. This other girl is out of this world. We'll call my girlfriend J and the girl I like L ok? ok. Well L knows I like her, and L really likes me. I never see L though. But I get so happy when I talk to her. J pisses me off a lot of the time. We fight over everything. We tried taking a break, but it didn't work out. We missed each other. I care about J, but I have these strong feelings for L also. I don't know what to do. I can't bring myself to end the relationship because I don't want to lose J. J has become one of my best friends, and I don't want to lose that. At the same time, these feelings for L wont go away.
Can someone help me?
(Don't say to sort out your feelings, cause I sorted them up there. I feel confused. And no, who would you rather be with. I get that all the time from my friends.)
Thank you.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Honestly, i think u should stay with your girlfriend. I have been in this situation numerous times and there was one time that I left my current boyfriend for the "L" and I completely regretted it. Think of it this way, the grass always seems greener on the other side. But it NEVER is. It would be a different situation if you were completely unhappy with your current girlfriend but to me it doesnt sound like thats the case. And i think if you break up w/ her for the other one, your just gonna regret it and even if you were able to get back with your girlfriend, it would cause major problems for you both. Let me know what you decide and good luck.
]
Well if you and J have tried to get things to pull together and they aren't working. That means you have to decrease a level in "closeness." I mean have you guys ever just thought to sit down and say "We're not getting anywhere. What do you want to do?" and actually talked about it? You should. Don't tell her about L until you level it with J.
Maybe you should suggest that being very good friends is the way to go. Obviously living the way you two are is NOT healthy by any means. You're both unhappy, it seems like, so there is no point of being so "on contact" if you know what I'm saying. [[bf/gf]]
You can care for each other the same way you do but just lose the titles and not share so much "affection" as you would if you wanted to be with L.
If you do decide to break it off with J, wait AT LEAST a *month* before dating L because that would make it seem that you lied to J and decided to dump her for L. Then you would realize what you've accomplished with J in the first place, really wasn't worth all of the time and effort because it came to that.
I hope you work it out!
-KD/f/15
]
you said that you love J and breaking off your relationship didn't work so try and do it again.love is a powerfull word and feeling that doesn't just go away.girls like L may come and go in your life but you have to understand that this situation that you're in is testing your relationship with J.it's testing your love for her and that's hard to do through.ask your self if you can picture yourself with L and not J than think about what you would give up because your not with J anymore.ask your self was it really worth it?you left the person you love for the person you like not knowing if you will fall in love with her or if she will fall in love with you.
if i was you i wouldn't leave the girl that i love for the one that i like.you'll aways come across some girl that makes you nervous every time you see her or hang out.but those girls are a dime a dozen.i hope i helped
ps.love wasn't meant to be easy so don't think that your relationship with J is a hopeless
]
don't leave the one you love for the one you like because the one you like for the one they love.
if you tried to take a break from J once and you guys couldnt stay apart that sort out your difference with her. try your hardest to make things work. The only way they will work is if you try and talking to another girl isnt going to make things easier its going to make them harder. Maybe J knows about L.. maybe she has a feeling.. that could be why your fighting. honestly if i was you.. if you really love J i would tell her about L if she doesnt already know and apoligize and tell her you love her and relized that now (wait until you do relize it) and then for L if you pick J than you need to tell L that J is the one you want to be with and love.
good luck
]
Right, this is quite a hard situation to handle.
In my opinion, the best thing to do is not see L so much.
I know you like her and she likes you back, but if you take a break from seeing her, then you will see your true feelings for her.
For instance, I was with this guy a lot and I thought I liked him. He was constantly flirting with me and so on. Then I decided to take a break, I'd only see him in school but we wouldn't hang out as much and so on, and I realized that I only liked him because he was constantly flirting with me.
So yeah, do you see what I mean?
Tell J that you have some feelings for another girl, you need to sort them out though. If J suddenly sees you and L together she will assume that you're cheating on her.
Also don't flirt and so on with L, this will just mess you up even more.
Be careful though. Even if you love J and 'like' L it can mess up things and you can end up on your own with neither girls.
And whatever you do, don't date both girls, that's just stupid and it will end badly with everyone getting hurt.
Good luck!
]
Sticky business. I'm going to give you a few different ways you can look at this:
..When you date anyone for awhile, you're bound to have your problems. I don't know of anyone who has a relationship for years without a single issue. And if you did, you wouldn't be growing as a couple.
..The new girl girl in your life is just that: new and exciting. She's a fresh face, which is most likely one of the reasons you're so drawn to her. But, going for something new just for the sake of it isn't always the right thing to do. I bet J was new and exciting in the beginning also ;]
..However, if you do fight with J all the time about silly stuff, maybe it is time to move on. You said you tried taking a break but got back together because you missed each other. Maybe you're so used to the relationship that you can't stay away. It's normal, comfortable, feels safe. Understandable. But don't stay with someone just because you're used to it. That could keep you from new opportunities.
..With L, you should figure out if it's infatuation that will pass quickly. You wouldn't want to throw away a relationship for someone you'll not like in a week. People can have feelings for other people while in a relationship, but that doesn't mean they should act on them all the time.
...But other times they should. If you really are unhappy with J, the right thing to do would break up with her. It wouldn't be fair to her to lead her on. If you do break up with J, don't immediately move on to L. Give it time so nobody gets hurt.
Good luck, hope it all works out.
]
More Questions: |