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humorist-workshop
i feel bad
16/f.
theres this one kid who likes me like alot, he always calls me and texts me but i just dont feel the same way about him. and whenever he says stuff, i just dont respond back to it.
what should i do.
i dont want to hurt his feelings..
but i also dont want to lead him on..
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Hi, I have read your question and I understand where you are coming from. We have all been the recipient of an admirer whose affections are not recipricated.
I know you don't want to hurt his feelings, but the best thing to do is to tell him the truth.
Simply tell him that the two of you need to talk. Tell him that although you are flattered and you can see that he is a nice person, you don't think that things would work out between you on a romantic level. Tell him that you don't have those kinds of feeling toward him.
Be kind honest, and firm. Make sure he knows that there is no wiggle room. You won't be changing your mind. That way there is no confusion.
Good Luck.
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Be blunt and risk hurting his feelings.
Simply put, men have a surpassingly ridiculous capacity for denial.
Our arsenal includes
"She likes me but she can't admit it"
"She'll grow to like me"
"If I show her how good a guy I am she'll come around"
Etc.
Be blunt. Tell him he's a great friend, but you don't want to date him, and that it makes you uncomfortable to have a friend trying to be more. Tell him that if he keeps trying to date you he's going to ruin the friendship.
Honestly, being friends with a guy who wants to date you is difficult to impossible. Its just the way we are. Until he finds someone else to date or fixate on, hes going to like you. And hes going to hope.
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I know a guy like this right now. I'm actually standing in your shoes. I'm goingto be honest with him, because I don't want to lead him on.
What you should say is"I love our friendship and for me thats all it is"
You want to let him down easily, so compliment him, and tell him how great of a guy he is, but theres also nothing there. Yes he will get hurt, but thats life, it happens ya know. YOu should end it now rather then lead him on, b/c then hell get hurt more.
Good luck, I'm going to do the same thing. hope it works :)
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The only thing you can do is be honest with him. Let him know that you just want to be friends, and nothing more. Just explain to him that you don't feel the same way about him, but you don't want it to hurt the friendship you have now.
I know it hurts, but it's the best thing to do =/
-Laura (16-f)
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Just be nice to him and tell him the truth! You could say something like:
"Hey, I know you really like me and all that, but I'm not really interested in you that way. You're a nice guy and all but I'm just not interested in an intimate relationship. So don't take it personally, we can be casual friends if you like, but I'm just not romantically interested in you. Okay? Thanks."
Or you could just make grotesque faces and weird sounds and erratic gestures like you're crazy or something and that would scare him off, but then it might also give you a bad reputation! <grinning>
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If you don't respond, he'll eventually give up. If you see him all the time, though, you might want to be straight up with him and just say he's a nice guy but you're not looking for a relationship or that you just don't see him that way. If he denies it or acts defensive, just say, "OK but you came off the wrong way" and just don't act like it's a big deal.
I've had plenty of experience with these kind of guys that won't take a hint.
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You'll eventually have to hurt his feelings somehow. The best way is to just tell him straight foward that you only see him as a friend. Do this if you dont want to lead him on. Now what I would do since im a coward, is just ignore his calls sometimes. Like sometimes pick up and sometimes let it ring. And if he gets the courage to ask you out, just tell him "Sorry, Im not ready to be in a relationship right now". And just act normal around him.
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