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Ahh, what do I do now?
My ex boyfriend moved to Sweden for two years, and we've talked on msn every day and stuff, and now he's moved back to our town.
I was so fucking happy when he called me and said ''I'm back in town, let's meet at Starbucks at 12''
So I go there to meet him, and I didn't see him anywhere.
I look around and there's a guy waving at me.
And I did a double take.
Before he left, he had blonde hair, messy, some piercings, and gauged ears.
Now, he has black long hair, more piercings and something that makes me want to cry, he's gauged his center lip piering to a 00g
( like this guy's lip:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location))
Meanwhile I've had some boyfriends, and he's had some girlfriends, but I wanted to start dating him again.
But now...I feel so unattracted to him :(
I mean, I can't even kiss him. And he talks all weird.
And he's changed too. He's obsessed with gauging his lip now, and he thinks I should gauge my lip too.
What do I do now?
I still love him, but I feel like I love him as a friend, and he wants to get back together.
Help?
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Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Random Weirdos?
People change.
That's something important that you are going to have to accept in life.
Is it even possible to kiss someone with that form of a piercing? I hope to God you choose NOT to gauge your lip, because that is incredibly unattractive. How anyone can think that looks good is beyond me. You should be honest with him though. Tell him you would love to be friends, but as far as having a relationship again, you don't see it happening any time soon. Hopefully he will understand.
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The first thing that needs to be done is telling him you don't want anything piercing through your lip. Changing yourself for someone else will just end in you losing yourself entirely. I have had that happened to me and it is not a path I would suggest to anyone. Not knowing who you really are or who you once were is a scary thing.
A good way to gently tell someone you want to be their friend is to tell the truth. The truth is when he first left you both were on the same page, had things in common, and had a very good relationship. The time you have been apart has changed both of you. You don't know him anymore and he doesn't know you. You realize now that you have grown apart as people. You are not sure if you can have the same relationship you once had because it has been so long and you both have changed so much.
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Damn! Damn! Damn! Girl, do not change for him, change for you! If you aren't into what he has gotten into then don't be, or you will lose who you are and never do that for ANYONE but yourself OK? That's the first thing.
Second thing: Let him know that you have changed since he left and that you don't feel the same way anymore and that you only wish to be friends with him. Don't be rude telling him that his new found interests don't appeal to you, or that you aren't attracted to him anymore - that's hurtful moreso than telling him you only want to be friends with him. If a guy is into something you aren't into, and you try to accept it,yet still have awkard feelings about it or questions instead of certainty, you will eventually settle. You can accept anything you want, but never settle for anything.
Good Luck and keep it real girl! Let him do him, and you do you. You will be much happier this way.
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I'm sorry but that's just gross. And painful. And I thought gauged ears were bad.
If he's changed and isn't the same person that you fell in love with, and you can't even kiss him, then it's probably not going to work out.
And based on your feelings, you may have gotten over him while he was gone. Seeing as you had some boyfriends etc.
This relationship will probably be better as you two being friends and keeping a bond. But not a romantic one.
Just tell him that a lot has happened while he was gone, and you just don't feel like it's going to work out and you'd rather have him as a good friend.
If he cares about you, he'll understand and wont feel too hurt.
Oh and, how does he eat with that thing? Wouldn't food go everywhere? (Morbid curiosity.)
Hope I helped. Good luck.
-LoveSucks
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Ouch, wouldn't that hurt someone's lip if they did that?
If you feel like you can overlook how he's changed and if you still have feelings for him, give it another shot. You could just go on one date and see if it'll work. And if it doesn't seem right, tell him you'd rather be friends instead.
If you honestly don't think you want to get back together with him at all, just tell him that while he's been gone the two of you have changed (and from what it sounds like to me, that's true. And he had to have noticed it also), and you think you'd be better off as just friends for now.
Hope everything works out. :)
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