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Dad has cancer...so depressed
Okay, Im 16/f and here is some background info.
So my dad has had cancer since 2001 and he keeps getting rediognosed. and this realli makes me upset, i can barely handle it anymore. Im constantly crying and ive been having suicidal thoughts(i dont think i will ever accually do it, i just think about how much easier it would be for my parents to get my dad better if i wasnt here)
Well a few days ago (aka the worst day ever) we had to call 9121 because my dad was so sick and the ambulence had to rush him to the hospital...
Im pretty sure im depressed, i cant talk to any of my friends because i know they try but they can never help me the best thy can do it "im so sorry im here for you" and i commend them so much for dealing with me though
Im just always sad and nothing makes me happy, ive been crying so much more lately, sleeping massive amounts, and not eating. I dont knwo what to do? How can i get myself to be happy and not so depressed.. i try to stay positive. i pray alot, but nothing helps me at all. it seems ive tryed everything.... should i seek professional help?=[
thanks so much
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I'm so sorry.
I can't imagine what you're going through.
Keep in mind that many people survive cancer. There are nearly 10 million cancer survivors living in the U.S. today. That's because scientists are discovering new and better ways to find and treat cancer. Throughout all of this, it will help you to have hope.
You're not alone. Right now it might seem that no one else in the world feels the way you do. In a way you're right. No one can feel exactly like you do. But it might help to know that many teens have a parent who has cancer. Talking to others may help you sort out your feelings. Remember, you are not alone.
Balance is important. Many teens feel like their parent's cancer is always on their mind. Others try to avoid it. Try to strike a balance. You can be concerned about your parent and still stay connected with people and activities that you care about.
It can help to learn more about cancer and cancer treatments. Sometimes what you imagine is actually worse than the reality.
Talk with family that you feel close to. You owe it to yourself.
Join a support group to meet with other teens who are facing some of the same things you are. Or meet with a counselor.
Spend some time at a friend's house.
Stay involved with sports or clubs.
Relax and get enough sleep.
Take breaks. You'll have more energy and be in a better frame of mind.
Get at least 8 hours of sleep each night.
Pray or meditate.
Make or listen to music.
Keep a journal to write down your thoughts and experiences.
Draw, paint, or take photographs.
Read about people who have made it through difficult experiences in life. Learn what helped them.
Eat and drink well. Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to help prevent fatigue. In the evening, switch to caffeine-free drinks that won't keep you awake. Grab fresh fruit, whole-grain breads, and lean meats like chicken or turkey when you have a choice. Avoid sugary foods.
Be active.
Play a sport, or go for a walk or run.
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Good luck, and I hope everything works out okay. ;)
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My condolences on what you and your family are currently going through, particularly your dad. The sad truth in this case is that bad things happen to good people, and this is an example of such. Your depression with this issue appears to be due to your current situation, however there are three important ways you can cope with what you are going through; the first is for you to accept your powerlessness over your father's health. From what you have written, the doctors have done and continue to do everything thing they can. The most you can do is be there to support your father, and remind him of how much you love him. This will also be a good time to get in touch with your spiritual self, if you haven't already done so. The second thing for you to do is to recognize that you are not the only one going through this painful period. I am sure other members of your family are struggling just like you are, (especially your dad) and this being the case, you don't have to go through this alone. When people fall into depression and begin to contemplate suicide, (seriously or otherwise) it's because they feel alone, (amongst other issues). You are not alone, share with members of your family the pain you are experiencing, you will be surprised the sense of strength family support can provide for people. Lastly, professional help is a good idea, especially if there are other things you are coping with besides your father's cancer.
Good luck.
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Its completely understandable for you to feel like this but let me tell you for sure that it is going to make it harder for your father to recover if he has to deal with the grief of loosing you too.
I would suggest you try to talk to a councellor, and people who are going through the same thing as you, with a parent or close relative with cancer. Macmillan cancer charity could help you with both of these, and give you something to help support you. And don't feel ashamed that you need help with it, because its a huge thing to go through, when I was very ill it didn't just upset me, my whole family found it hard to deal with but through talking to each other and talking to councellors etc we've got through it.
I hope you feel better soon, and I sencerely hope your father gets better soon.
All my best wishes
xx
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Well, it is normal to feel sad about your dads condition. It isn't right you are feeling suicidal feelings though. Never think that you would be better off dead. There are a lot of people in this world who care about you and you may not know it. Get help from a guardian so they can cheer you up. Your dad might be feeling sick but don't make him deal with his daughter because he will get more sad about your feelings. I hope you start to feeling better.
Hope this helps.
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My dad died this past year so I know it
can be upsetting. He had cancer but they
found it when he was being xrayed for an
abdominal aneurysm. Couldn't fix the
aneurysm because of the cancer. He was a
walking time bomb. The aneurysm busted and
that is what took his life in th end.
You are going to be depressed. It is not at
all unusual. You have to try and live in the
moment right now because thats all you can do.
His cancer is not going away and it probably
won't. Don't let sadness of knowing that keep
you from making memories with him right now.
They will be important one day. Share with
him your hopes and dreams for the future.
Talk about things you've done in the past.
Let him know what he means to you. Say "I
love you" a lot!
If mom agrees discussing this with a doctor
can't hurt at all. It is very normal though.
Don't even think that your death would make
things easier on your family. It would make
things much worse. I'm sure your mom has
very depressing thoughts herself. Try sharing
your feelings with her. I know she could
probably use a shoulder to lean on too. :)
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Instead of focusing on whats bad, think of it this way. If you died, your dad wouldn't want to live anymore either. Think of how much that would effect him. I would focus more on thinking that everyday matters for your dad. You need to make EVERYDAY that he is alive special. Rather than crying about it. In life, things like this happen, but its not about how you go down. Its how you build yourself up stronger. Spend as much time with your dad. Go out with your friends. Do it for your dad. Do it because he can't. IF doing stuff FOR your dad doensn't help then go ahead and seek professional help. Nothing can hurt.
I hope you get better.
And tell your dad i Said get well soon.
-E
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