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Drugs and Parents
I have a bit of a problem and I am not sure how to deal with it. I am 21 and recently discovered my mother is smoking weed. I found a joint and today when I walked in the house it smelt like weed. She is a grown woman and can make decisions, but I am worried that it will turn into worse.
My father was a drinker and druggy and thats how he ultimately died. So I am worried that she will end up the same way to early.
So please tell me if I should just butt out or what I can do about it.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Ask her about it. Sometimes the simplest way is the hardest but also the easiest.
My bet is that she has smoked for many years. I know a lot of people who smoke and don't ever turn into anything else. I worry more about people who drink alcohol than smoke weed. Mainly because I have never seen someone get violent while smoking weed but I have seen a lot of violent drunks.
She will probably be angry when you ask her but tell her your concerns and hear her out. I'm not condoning the behavior but there may be a reason. Perhaps for anxiety and she can't take a valium. Try to get her involved in an activity like mentoring a teen or reading to the kids at the local library. She may just be lonely or she may just like to smoke now and then--either way you won't know until you ask her.
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Did you know that only 20% of drug users can be in any way considered addicts?
An addict being defined as someone who has a serious attachment to a drug and whom allows their life to be negatively impacted by drugs.
Leave it alone. She is your mother, and if you're 21 she's more than old enough to make a decision like that if she wants to. And just becuase shes smoking weed doesnt mean shes going to spiral out of control.
Also, don't listen to the 13 year old below. These are the kinds of misinformation that is spread. Marijuana does not cause any kinds of mental illness. If her mother was mentally ill, she was and would have been, pot or no pot. In point of fact, many pharmacological studies have shown that outside of the same risks associated with cigarettes (lung cancer for chronic smokers, etc) pot is actually far less harmful than even alcohol to the human body.
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Just so you know use of marijuana
may cause DEPRESSION in SOME users.
That is the mental illness the
government uses to scare the masses.
Marijuana has never killed anyone
by itself. It may contribute to
accidents, it may contribute to
lung cancer in those who smoke it.
Personally, I have never smoked it.
However I do know several who do.
You would never know it if they didn't
tell you. They get up, go to work
and do not smoke it all the time.
I understand your concern for your
mother. Talk to her about it and
tell her your fears.
I'm going to take a guess and assume
that if she hasn't become a big druggy
by now, she probably isn't going to.
Chances are she has been smoking it for
years.
Talk to her, find out. Then leave her
to make her own decision on it. She is
an adult, as you are and is free to do
what she will. I realize it is illegal
and she is risking her freedom. Tell
her that. But from a health standpoint,
drinking is far worse on a person. :)
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My mother had the same problem and it ultimately ruined her life. It brought her mental illness and health problems.
Even though I'm only 13, I know what you may be going through.
DO NOT butt out. That is the worse possible thing you can do at this point. If you know your mother is smoking weed do whatever you can do in your power to stop her before it ruins her life- or kills her.
Yes, she may be a grown woman, but even as that, she knows eventually it'll kill her and leave behind you and the rest of her family.
You love your mother enough to even consider talking to her about it, but you need to take the next step and bring it up with her.
Tell her that you're there for her, and you don't want to lose her like you lost your father.
Good luck- and I hope she listens.
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I have to say that you are NOT responsible for your mother...
If you have a problem with her smoking weed, then say so. Don't get rude or behave rudely. Just explain to her WHY you feel the way you do about it. Tell her your worries.
Other than that, there isn't a whole lot you can do about it. Like you said, she's a grown woman who makes her own choices in this life.
ygs-30/f
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You kinda asked this question twice in a row. There's no need for that.
I would talk to her about it and see what she wants. Tell her your fears and that you just don't want to lose her yet, like you lost your father to the drugs and the drink.
You're not butting in, because you care for her and just want to have the best for her. Advise her to go to a support group who can help her get off the drugs. You're a loving, caring daughter whom wants nothing more than to see your mum healthy and happy and have nothing to do with drugs.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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First off I am sorry about your father. I understand your concern for your mother and this does need to be taken care of. You have a responsibility to your mother to do your best to help her, that doesnt mean that you can make her change. Sit down with your mother and tell her that you know that she's been smokeing and that you care so much about her that you dont want her to ruin her life. She means too much to you to let her just waste away. Any time you find a joint or anything, flush it down the toliet. A bong? break it. Yes, this may make her angry, but it will slow down the process. Talk to her about checking her into a rehab filcilaty.
Now on the sad side, these things may not work. I have been through similar situations, except not my mother. I know how hard it is. All you can do is your best, you cant make her change, the only person that can is her. If she doesnt want to stop, shes not going to. No matter what. But never give up hope.
I hope i helped at least some.
Let me know if you have anymore questions.
-jessicamarie.
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