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so confused.
* be prepared, its kinda long.
ohk, so my best friend, who i have known for about a year and a half, we've been really rocky lately.
let me explain:
she is a VERY clingy person. she will cling to 2-3 people for long periods of time. it annoys the shit outta me, but i live with it. we're friends. ive tried telling her, but whenever i try, she always gets so mad + gets VERY defensive. so wuht should i do about THAT problem?
wait, theres more.
2 weeks ago, she had a movie night, she didnt invite me, + she always does, i didnt do anything to her, i wasnt mad at her or anything, + she invited kids who she barely talked to, which i really didnt undertstand. i texted her asking her, + she was just all pissed off, so i just didnt text her anymore.
we rarely talk anymore, + if we do, its alkward. wuht should i do about THAT problem?
theres more:
++ then, we were on the bus coming back from a basketball game, this girl, asked me, "hows yer boyfriend emily?!, i said really good, and then my friend pipes in, and goes, "EW, HES SO UGLY!" + she said much more stuff about that, and i got REALLY mad. wuht should i do about THAT?
two more things:
im nothing but a friend, and a good person to her, and all she does is treat me like shit, so i told her, that ive never gotten so much disrespect from a person, no one has ever treated me with so much disrespect like she does, and that she should be ashamed of the way she treats me. was that good to say?
+ one more thing:
we are going to philladelphia, for a class trip, and i wanted to room with her, so i asked her, she said yes, and then she got put with me, and got all pissed off, because i guess she had already made arrangements with her other friends, which she didnt because i was the first one that asked her, and she keeps denying it. + she wouldn't talk to me + she got all pissed.
wuht should i do about THAT?
thats it, but from wuht i have observed, if she needs to cling to people, shes really insecure, + has low self esteem.
but, i need some help + peoples opinions.
thanks SO much everyone.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Hey I gotta be blunt on this topic.......
First of all females are some of the most funny acting people in this world old/young it doesn't matter that are moody. I feel that your friend has lost the title of being a friend (because friends don't act like that period). You seem to be like myself.....a very loving, kind, generous individual who has some very funny acting friends in my life. I would say you need to distant yourself from this girl for a couple of weeks maybe even a month, and let her see how it feels to not have you around. And look at it like this she could be telling her so called other friends you are the clingy one, and you are always around. But trust me after they get to know what you know, they will run for the HILLS!!!!! goodluck
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1st problem:
You've told her it annoys you how she clings on to people. You can't do much more than that, I'm afraid. So the option is to deal with it and hope what you've told her makes her realize something.
2nd problem:
So what if she invited other people to her movie night. I know you were probably hurt since she didn't tell you about it, but she's free to have other friends, too. Who knows.. maybe giving each other space is actually a good thing for you both - because it seems like everything you guys do annoys each other.
3rd problem:
What she said was down right wrong and I'm sensing a bit of jealousy here. Ask her why she feels the need to say these harsh things to you. It's not like it's HER boyfriend, so she doesn't have the right to say things like that. Friends don't put each other down like that, let alone best friends.
4th:
"im nothing but a friend, and a good person to her, and all she does is treat me like shit, so i told her, that ive never gotten so much disrespect from a person, no one has ever treated me with so much disrespect like she does, and that she should be ashamed of the way she treats me. was that good to say?"
Perfect. and you know what? You don't have to put up with it. Make sure she knows that.
5th:
She said yes.. then changed her mind. It's not your fault. It's only a room arrangement and to be honest, you will barely be spending much time in there anyway. If it bothers her that much, see if you can change.
I reckon if you just leave her to her own thing for a while, hopefully she will realize something is up and she is being a bad friend. I commend you for putting up with her crap, because I wouldn't.
If she keeps up with her selfish, rude ways, then so be it. You don't need someone like that in your life - it is NOT what friends do.
She may be going through a rough time at the moment and you may not know about it, but it's still no way to treat you so bad.
If you want to salvage your friendship, write her a letter. Write down everything you are feeling. Don't make it sound like you're having a go at her.. just tell her the things she does and says upsets you and ask her WHY she does it.
If she doesn't seem to change - she doesn't deserve your friendship.
I know it's sad, but sometimes, friends just grow apart. Maybe that's what's happening with you.
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Some people are like that on purpose, whilst some people do it without them realising it. It becomes a habit if you like.
When she invited those people over to her house for the movie night, did you think that she on;y invited them because she wanted to make new friends? Or about this trip, maybe she wanted to go with other people, you know 'spread her wings'. So let her go with others.
Talk to her about what she's saying about your boyfriend and that's it's really hurtful. BUT don't make it seem as if you're giving her a lecture, just quietly and keep to the point.
However, if you think that you don't want anything to do with her, then let her go and find some other people whom respect you.
BUT talk to her first. I still believe that this friendship can continue, but only if both people are willing enough to keep it going.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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She probably doesn't realize she's clingy. People change a lot and they probably don't even notice to what extent. So even if you bring it up, of course it will upset her in some way. No one likes to be called clingy because it sounds so bad like I'MALWAYSINYOURFACE. Since you are best friends, she probably doesn't see it as being clingy. You just have to let that go because she won't side with you when you're calling her clingy.
I think you should just let her go. If she doesn't consider your feelings, she's not really a friend. It's not bad to not invite you because like you said, she's 'clingy' so maybe she thought you wanted a break or time to yourself. So you can try talking to her about that or just forget it happened.
Don't listen to what others say about your relationships. It's their opinion, not yours. It's okay to defend but don't get so angry about it really. People always say things about my boyfriend but I never listen or gave them any reaction so they gave up. Now they are jealous. haha
For the class trip.. you are just rooming with her .. It doesn't mean you have to be close, talk or anything. Just keep space within and talk when it's necessary because she's probably still angry at what you said. We all have different opinions of ourselves so i'm sure she believes you are wrong.
If you don't see your friendship getting better in time, then don't bother with it anymore. Best friends come and go. You just have to learn to deal with it and realize it's not your problem but theirs. They need to realize they have problems and stop avoiding it. I'm sure in time.. she will notice other people leaving.
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well tell her that if she keeps it up.. that you wont be her friend anymore..
or reason with her....
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This girl has a problem. Some kind of emotional or social problem.
I think you should just leave her alone, apparently she doesn't want to be your friend right now. Maybe because you told her she was too clingy she tried to make some new friends.
I say, you don't stop being friends with her, but wipe the slate clean, so to speak. Just forget everything that has happened and tell her how you feel. Don't bring up ALL of these examples, she'll feel like shes being attacked. Tell her you feel like she doesn't want to be friends anymore, and you don't understand why
Hope I helped
xxtiffany
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