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please help me
I'm 18.. and a virgin..
I've been going out with a guy for a year now...we love eachother alot...
I want to have sex after marriage..
due to religious reasons and also because i think it will be of more value when you have sex for the first time on your first night...
But he wants to have sex before that....
the 1st time i explained my reasons to him he said he understood.. but now he seems to be changing..
a few days ago he bought that conversation up again
and when i explained it to him all over again he was pissed with me
"aren't you willing to have sex with me?" "dont you love me?" "why are you doing this to me?"
etc
why is he in such a hurry? doesnt he value me or respect me???
what can be wrong
I just dont know what to do now..
please help me:(
please dont tell me to dump him... I love him alot and i cant live without him...
is anything wrong with me??? if so please explain ...
Please help me...
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1st of all nothings wrong with you, your just falowing your values. Its just hard for some ppl to understant, like your boyfriend for example. Although im sure he dose respect you, it koos like hes trying to voice what he needs from you... Stay strong and remain true to your values, but have you ever considerd manual or oral stimulation. Its not realy sex but its quite stimulating.
hope this helps.
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OK i agree with you and your values and thats great!
But my theory is try before you buy because if you get married and your husband is a dud then you will cheat on him and it will ruin your life!
If your boyfriend doesnt want to wait till marriage, he doesnt love YOU enough to wait!
He is all about himself in the "aren't you willing to have sex with me?" "dont you love me?" "why are you doing this to me?" part. Tell him its not about him its about you and your morals!
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there is nothing wrong with you it's something wrong with him and if he cannot respect that, maybe he is not the one, i know thats hard to here, but baby if you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything and if he can't put a ring on your finger maybe he is not the one the lord sent,, baby dating is just that dating not sex! it is getting to know someone, there likes and dislikes, there character and to se if you have the same beliefs it better to cry now and get it over with, than to have children and a morgage with this individual and to realalize later that he is not the one, make it light on yourself maybe you guys should seperate for a while and then see later where things take you both later, and remember never put a man's opinion over the Lords (stay Obeidient) God Bless you PEACE
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The reason you don't want us to tell you to dump him is because you know it's the right answer. He has no right to be pissed over your choice to remain a virgin until married. If he can't hack that tell him to hit the bricks.
I have news for you and it's not pretty he doesn't love you. He's after sex and is going to manipulate you to get it. You might love him but someone who loves you back will not pressure you over it. They will get it the first time that you aren't interested.
He neither values you, the relationship, or your feelings and beliefs. He wants only one thing from the looks of it. whether to have sex with someone or remain a virgin is your decision not his. You made it and if he can't deal with it tell him where the door can be found.
Don't go against your religious principals or personal beliefs for anyone period EVER! In the long run it's always you that has to live with making a right or wrong choice about sex or anything else. Stick to your guns.
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dont change your morals because of a guy.
if he keeps saying that then you should say
"if you truely love me then you'll wait"
dont let him force you into somthing your not ready for, because then you'll regreat it.
just hope that he understands and if he doesnt then he isnt the right guy for you...
i hope everything works out!!!
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"dont you love me?" Thats a deal breaker there, Doesnt he love you enough to respect you? Talk to him and tell him thats the way its going to be. Please dont give into temptation. I made that mistake and regret it.
♥BLAiR
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FYI: A big red flag to dump a boy, regardless of whether you want to or not, is when he pulls the "Don't you love me?" speech when you won't put out. The truth is, He Does Not Love You. If he did love you, he would respect your decision to wait. And even though it may hurt you to realize, if he doesn't repect your values, he doesn't respect you.
Why is he in such a hurry? Because he is a horny boy that can only think about sex. I know this may not sound like your sweet loving boyfriend that you've been with for a year, but if he was that sweet and that loving, he wouldn't be making you feel like something was wrong with you. He would tell you he understands, and since he loves you so much, he'll wait. But the truth is, he hasn't told you that. He doesn't understand, and apparently, he never will. You need to leave this boy. I understand you asked us not to tell you this, but unfortunately that's the advice that's best for you. And I really, really hope one day you will understand why I am telling you to do this. You say you love him a lot and can't live without him. And if that's the honest truth, are you willing to throw everything you've ever believed in, and what you've always wanted for yourself out the window? Are you willing to throw your values, pride, and respect out too? If so then go ahead and have sex with him. But I can almost guarentee that you will regret it in the long run. But actually no, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Nothing at all. But there is a lot wrong with this guy, and I hope you understand that...
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There is nothing wrong with you.
There is something very wrong with him. He thought you were going to change your mind. He didn't take your view on sex seriously. Worse of all, he is trying to blackmail and bully you into sleeping with him. Hw thinks he can guilt you into sex.
He doesn't value your opinion, and yes, what he is doing is disrespectful. You were honest and upfront with him. He was foolish not to believe you.
You've done nothing wrong.
Tell him in no uncertain terms that you will not be having sex until you are married. If he can't deal with that, it's time for you to part ways.
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