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prude boyfrennn?
i'm gonna start off by saying i'm NOT a whore
me and my boyfriend have been going out for over 9 months and he's fingered me once and we makeout alot thats about it ;; i kinda would like some more "exitement" and i give him handjobs all the time and was even thinking of giving him head (even tho i have NOO IDEA WHAT TO DO!) and maybe even sex.. i've given him alot of time and i dont wanna like push him but do you think i should say something to him.. if so what?
btw he's one year younger then me
do you think that has much of an affect on it?
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well i mean you guys have been going out for 9 months. if you decide to have sex just make it special and something worth remembering. and be SAFE! use a condom, check into birth control. And as for the age thing, i don't think it's a big deal unless you're 18 then it's illegal if you guys get caught. And to make sure you aren't pushing it,just ask him if he wants to. But don't ask when you're "in the moment". ask while you guys are just hanging out so hormones aren't raging and stuff haha.
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If you push him into something he doesn't want to do, both of you will have a bad experience with it. And you might regret losing something valuable to you in an invaluable way.
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This is how I define whore: Girl/Guy who goes around to everyone and their dog having sex with everyone.
One, you're not a whore, although I do not agree with your choice of action. Two- if you want to do something, ask. If he says no, you have to respect that. You can't make someone do something they don't want to do, alright?
Three, if you don't know how to "give head" or whatever you're calling it, well that is a big flashing light telling you not to do that. You're not mature enough in my humble opinion.
Just out of curiosity, how old are you two?
--Jack
(15/m)
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Of course you should talk to him, start by simply asking his feelings about sex. Him being one year younger than you shouldn't matter, it all has to do with maturity. Anyways, like I was saying, start by asking his feelings about it and go from there. For example, a next question would be "How old do you see yourself losing your virginity?" So on and so forth. Don't be shy about it, and if you ARE shy about it, it probably means that YOU are not ready.
Oh, and F.Y.I.
Here's some advice on getting head, so you feel more comfortable:
When you give head, focus on the tip at first and the ring right under the head, slowly work your way down the shaft and bop your head up and down on it, it's not hard at all. DON'T TAKE IN THE WHOLE THING IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT. If it is too large, use your hand too, grip the bottom part of the shaft and let your hand follow in the up and down motion of your mouth. :] Make sure when you're bobbing up and down you use your tounge! Guys love that!
I hope I helped and let me know if you need to know anything else. :]
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It would seem that you are sexually frustrated and he's just not thinking about any of this. Either that or he's not ready. I think you should talk to him about "experimenting" and trying certain things and see if he's receptive.
If he's not ready for other sexual acts yet respect that. Talk to him about what he thinks and is feeling about this kind of thing. Tell him that he's in the driver's seat now and has to let you know what the next step is.
Worst comes to worst you'll be stuck doing the same old routine or taking care of your hormones safely and by yourself when nothing else is satisfying.
Sooner or later he'll gain confidence when it comes to sexuality and exploring. He cannot be coaxed though. You never mentioned your age or his but maybe he's not mentally mature enough or ready for handling any of this.
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I can't tell you if his age had much of an effect, because I don't know your age. It makes a difference. A big one.
No, you aren't a whore, and I doubt anyone on this site would have called you one. If you have a boyfriend, and you've been with him for a long time, of course you are going to want to get sexual eventually. If you want to give him head, just do it. If he responds in a good way, keep going. Then eventually you can ask him what he thinks about sex. How he feels about it, and if he would ever like to with you. If he responds to oral in a negative way, stop immediately, apologize and keep doing what you were doing before. You can ask about the sex at a later date. Because if he doesn't want a blow job, there is a pretty large chance he's not going to want sex.
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You cannot push your boyfriend into doing things he isn't ready for.
The fact that he is a year younger than you is a very important factor as these are the years when you go through puberty and your hormones are everywhere. You're both still developing and growing, some do this at a slower pace than others. You may think that you are ready to go further with him, but that does not necessarily mean that he feels the same.
Try talking to him about what he wants. For a 14 year old, I wouldn't consider fingering and making out prude. Do not under any circumstances force him into doing something he doesn't want to do. Obviously I can't tell you what to do, you will make your own choices, but try to be careful when making decisions about how far you are willing to go. Sex may seem like a good idea now, but will you look back in ten years time and feel glad that this is how you lost your virginity?
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Why you had to say you're not a whore, I don't understand, but alright...
Uhm, well I would say that since you've given your boyfriend handjobs before, then the subject of giving him head shouldn't be a big deal for either of you. It might be for you because it's your first time; but you didn't say if it was his so maybe I'm not sure, but I don't think giving him head would be a big deal.
Sex might be though. I realize you love your boyfriend & you've been dating for a while; but usually it's good to wait for stuff like sex because you don't really know what the future holds. Is it your virginity; better yet...is it his? If it's both of your virginities, it might be okay but please make sure to use protection [condom, birth control pills] & remember that abortion is NOT birth control.
Honestly though, you've been going out for a while so talks like this shouldn't be hard to have. Just sit him down when he's over & be like "I don't know what you're ready for, but I know that I'm ready for more and if you're not, then that's fine & I'll wait for you, but if you are just let me know. I really love you blahblahblah" & whatever, and see what he says. If he's not ready, support him.
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