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Im inlove with my bestfriends boyfriend
ok so my name is brittany and i am 13.. my bestfriends name is kayla and she is 13 as well.. the guy she is datings name is grey and he is 16. ok well she said she is inlove with him and he said he is inlove with her.. but what they both dont know is im inlove with him. i cant get him out of my head and i feel so much for him... they have been going out now for about 2 months and havent even had one fight yet. now every site i go on to get advice about this gives me the same answer.. like "you have to move on to other guys" "your to young for him anyway" "healing takes time" i dont want to tell him that i like him cause i dont want to get shot down. and i love kayla to death and dont want to hurt her.. but i CANT help my feelings.. do you think they will be together for a long time.. like get married? knowing that they are young ..do you think they will move on to other people? i REALLY need to know what i should do.. do i have a chance with him at all? like if i cry and tell him or if i cry in the rain and tell him then i run off... do you think i have a chance? i dont think i do at all... I REALLY NEED ADVICE
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
To love someone is to spend the rest of your life with that one person so no you don't love this boy you just have strong feelings towards him. You say you love your friend kayla but to love her you'd respect her and her boyfriend although you can't help feelings you have to let your friend be happy too she must really like this boy and he must really like her also you can't do anything about it ....breaking them up or making them fight would be so low and really fucked up how would you feel if your best friend made you and your boyfriend break up? Exactly there's really nothing you could do except wait and no I doubt they'll get married at this age besides she's too young and they've only been going out for two months (by what you said) but they could last a bit longer who knows everyones relationships are diffrent but even if they do end up breaking up you have to still talk to your friend kayla about how she would feel if you went out with her then ex and you'd have to tell him how you feel and see what happens from then remember you can't force someone to like you and don't fight over a boy they aint worth it anyways good luck and I hope it works out for you
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I really doubt that your best friend will marry this guy.Two months isn't a long time. If they aren't fighting that shows that they are mature. For a 13 year old to be dating a 16 year old is a big difference. If they are comfortable w/ one another & respect is given then I have no place to judge. You are in a extremely tough situation. You mustn't tell any of them how you feel. If you value your friendship then don't tell your best friend because it will only make her feel insecure. You'll be putting her in a situation where she'll have to sacrifce her happiness or your's. Don't tell the guy because he'll either go back & tell your friend, he'll feel weird hanging around you or you'll stroke his ego (making him feel like he has power over you).
I was head over heels for my best friend's (in high school) boyfriend. I made the mistake of telling her, which then led to accusations & strain on our friendship. I thought the two of them were going to get married. You can never make a call like that because lots of things happen before you even hit your twenties. Opinions change, you learn new things. You learn what you like in a person & what you don't like. I never told her boyfriend, but 6 years later I did & I found out that he liked me to. The timing was perfect because we were both available. My advice to you is, you can't do anything about it now, but hope that he's available in a few years (don't wait immidiately after your best friend breaks up w/ him. That's disrespectful towards your friend.)
Hang in there. Journalling or venting to another friend is going to be a common thing right now.
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Well really you need to decide between a boy, and your bestfriend. Im sorry hun but it sounds like he'll choose her in the end beucase he does say he is "inlove" with her doesnt he? And if he really liked you, you would probably have the feeling that he does like you already. No matter what, even if he they break up and you go after him you're still choosing the guy over your BESTFRIEND!! because she did go out with him and does "love him".
sorry, but i say choose your friend, if you love her to death you'll let her be with her boyfriend, the guy that she really loves because who knows, maybe he doesnt have the same feelings towards you as you do to him.
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* Friendships are more important than boyfriends *
I'm going to make this as short as possible.
Firstly, I can imagine it must be hard to see the person you like "loving" someone else.
To be perfectly honest with you, I doubt you are in love with him. Lust, yes. and I doubt they are in love with each other either. Kids don't know the difference between love and lust these days.
It has been 2 months. Sure, everything may be hunky dory with them for the time being, but considering it's early days, anything can happen.
Noone here can tell you how long they will be together for. They're young and most probably want to experience different things, so my GUESS is no, it won't be long term.
Why would you want to risk your friendship with Kayla by ruining things with her and her boyfriend?
Have you ever thought if Grey had feelings for you he would have told you by now? and would be dating you instead?
I honestly don't think you should tell him. Especially by crying to him. That is attention seeking and will most probably make him feel guilty.
The people from the other sites who have already given you advice are correct. You really need to get this boy out of your head.
Find someone you can call your own.
and it's true - time actually does heal everything - and I'm telling you this from experience.
I think the answer you're looking for here is "yes, tell him, so you can fall in love and live happily ever after"
You won't get that here.
Don't jeopardize your friendship Brittany.
Yes, it's going to be difficult for you.. but surely if you were meant to be with Grey, you would be together now.. or maybe someday you will.
but what you have to do now is let nature take it's course.
Don't do anything silly which you will most probably regret later on.
I'd love to help you more if you need it okay?
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okay brittany,
no sugarcoating. the fact that it is your best friends boyfriend is really sucky. bc at the same time you dont want to break them up and you lose a friend and a possible boyfriend. not saying that you will break them up but just know that you cant mess with love. if its meant to be it will be. there is nothing you can do about that. and i mean you can tell him you like him, & if he shoots you down thats all part of the game! think of love like a football game... you dont want to sit on the sidelines and think what would have happened if you actually played the feild. you just have to get out there and try. you dont know how the game will go. if you lose the game, there are always others. Just make sure you have decided whats more important; friendship or what could be true love. And i dont think you can find that awnser on any advice column...
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