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what is love like? If you are in love then that will help.
So does love happen when you are not even thinking about it. I mean I see a lot of people that have love in their life and I wonder how did they get there? Is it all really planned out or do those people look for love? I just want to know if it's ever gonna happen to me? I'm tired of waiting for mr.right. I'm starting to think that he's not real. Maybe for other girls. not for me. I dont feel right going out with all the guys i have went out with. It seems to me that no guy out there is for me. No guys seems right. Everyone is just ugh! I dont know what to do anymore. please help...
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Love is an interesting animal.
Honest answer, the easiest way to find love is not to look for it.
I say this because, simply put, you are compatible with a finite number of people in the world you exist in, and if you are looking for love then you stand a much higher chance of ending up with people who you arent really compatible with.
This happens because you keep ending up with other people who are also looking for love, and both of you are willing to settle for something less in the chance that "this might be the one"
So, Im going to share bits and pieces of my story.
I currently live with my GF. We have been together 2.5 years (actually a few months past that)
We started out as acquaintances. We became friends because (ironically enough) she would come to me for advice. We became close friends because she came to me advice (really ironically enough) about losing her virginity to her BF when she was in high school.
We had some distance for a while, due to a disagreement. Didnt talk for about 8 months.
Then one day, she IMs me out of the blue (having lost my phone number). We start talking. Both of us had had a string of bad relationships at this point. We decide that as we're both single, it might be a decent idea for us to hook up. We both wanted someone we knew and were comfy with... well honestly as a long term friendly sexual partner, because we were both feeling a bit deprived. Thats where it was supposed to stop.
Well, it didnt. We had strong feelings for each other, and though our first meeting was based on sex, subsequent meetings and conversations had us falling for each other.
Now, 2 and a half years later, she is living with me. We intend to get married eventually. We are steadily building the foundation of a good relationship and a future together.
Honestly, one of the first things that set our relationship apart was that we both recognized that this was a relationship worth work. We made agreements about fights and about solving them together. We talked about how things were going with us. We put in time understanding each other, and discussing things because we knew we wanted to do everything we could to make this relationship work.
For me, love is like finding the other half of you you didnt know you were missing. She is a part of my life inseparable from the other parts. I cant imagine my day without her, imagine going to sleep without her next to me, imagine staying up late watching Showtime series on our futon together without her, etc.
She belongs. Its that feeling of right you have been searching for. And its the mutual recognition of that right. We both know this relationship is what we want and we both fight fiercely to keep it.
And things like this have a way of just wandering in out of left field to smack you in the face. Every decent relationship I've ever had came along when I wasnt so lonely that I was out searching for someone to be with.
Its also worth noting that generally when you look for love, you alter your normal life to try to find it.
And by altering your normal life, you are basically changing your life to try to find people who arent really compatible with your normal life, because they arent IN it.
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I haven't been in love before so I don't really know what it's like.
I know what you mean though...
Well I looked up (oreviously, for my own sake, lol, since sometimes I think I'll never get married) the percent of people who do get married eventually.
And it's 95%... so you have very good odds in your favor that you WILL find love.
I mean, isn't love the reason most people get married?
Anyways, if it doesn't feel right to go out with the guys you've went out with, you SHOULDN'T go out with people you don't like that much.
One day, love will find you.
Hope I helped. :)
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You'll find it, and you'll know when you've found it. There's no mistaking it. When it happens you feel like you're floating on a cloud. All you can think about is that person and you want to be with them all the time. And you get giddy just even thinking about it.
But love like this is rare. It's not something that happens everyday and that's part of what makes it so special.
You might have someone that you're attracted to and enjoyed being with but you're not in love with. It will come though and it may be with someone that you never would have guessed you'd fall in love with and vice versa.
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I was the same way as you. My town is full of people who do drugs and drop out, etc.. Really. And every guy is just a jerk.
Until I met love in a really unexpected place. I was at this girl's house who I just went by to wait for my ride. She showed me her brother, and I thought he was so blahh. Anyway, he gave me his AIM and we started talking more there since he was kind of shy. He was so amazing and funny, but he never really talked about girls or stuff so I didn't think he liked me or even wanted a girlfriend. Anyway, 4 months later I couldn't take it anymore and I tell him I like him. He says he likes me too.. TWO months later.. he finally asks me out.
& we have been going out for 9 months =] He was my first boyfriend too because every guy was just sooo wrong for me..
Trust me, you will not expect it when you find love.. =] But it WILL happen.
but don't forget, don't compare your loves to the movies! they are not perfect. love is understanding each other & accepting differences. what i think though, is when you meet the right person, there aren't too many things that you will disagree about.. :)
anything else you want to know and i will gladly answer it for you.
byee!
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In my opinion love comes when you mostly dont expect it. Be patient, if your meant to find him it will happen =] i believe that theres someone out there for everyone, dont worry about it to much it'll come when you least expect it! If you want it bad enough, it will happen dont doubt yourself just be patient and have faith in yourself! Maybe the guys you go out with just arent the right ones, if your looking to hard you might be choosing the guys that arent right for you just let it all fall into place and dont try so hard...it will happen!
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For the record, I don't think I've fallen in love before. But I have my opinion on the subject anyways.
You can't look for love, love just finds you. It takes time to find the right person. Assuming you get married, you'll be spending the rest of your life with this person and when you find "the one" you'll know. Sometimes you have to step back and see if you're not setting standards too high. You could be passing up an amazing guy just because his eyelashes aren't long enough, or something equally ridiculous.
-LM
[15/f]
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