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How do you deal with a mom who is criticizing, rude and....
and constantly compares you to another sibling, calls u stupid, fat, ugly (about every time she sees me)....like, everytime theres a TV ad for a skincare line or something she says, 'you should get that!' (cause i don't have such great skin) every 5 seconds ...she loves it.
always talking to me and staring at my acne and/or saying, "what is happening to your face?!". and shes always like, you look so ugly right now!
or she even tells me to shut up randomly, sometimes even wanting to get violent....or 'why don't you get your eyebrows done? (ur (my) sister) is so much prettier, why can't you look like her', etc.....'ur so dark (wtf?) and ugly'
she is bipolar, for real. i can't take it anymore.
she is so comforting to hug sometimes and talk to when I'm low or when my dad gives me stress (he is a resume/checklist, 'did u finish this, did you finish that'' type of dad!) not a great combo. But it's so weird because she gets into a nasty behavior randomly.
for example...i have concentration problems (add) and my dad helps me focus sometimes to do my schoolwork (i take medication, i'm 17)....and my mom imitates me and is like, "I'm so stupid, I'm going to just use my dad, he can do all my work for me, and mom cooks so I can use her too."
it's hard and really annoying because she digs into some of my deepest insecurities and just full on insults me. my sister doesn't talk to her anymore. but its harder for me because i still live in this house.
its lonely as ever, especially because as of now I don't have many friends since I moved and am going to a new school this fall. =/!
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Hi. I'm a doctor of psychology who has written a book about sibling rivalry and favoritism. I have a website too.
Unfortunately if a parent doesn't like you, there can be a few reasons. One may be that you are the favorite of the other parent, and this one is jealous of you. In that case you should acknowledge your privileged position with the loving parent TO YOURSELF, but NEVER share it with anyone else in the family. Just be happy you are in the favored position with your other parent, and leave well enough alone. If you talk about it, I promise it will only make matters worse. On a personal level, you then have to mourn the loss of hope of your mother ever loving you the way you would like, and learn to accept that this will never change.
If you are actually disfavored by both of your parents and have nowhere in your family to turn to for love, this is a very sad situation. You face the difficult task of having to part with the hope that you will ever derive any emotional satisfaction from your family members. It is again a process of mourning that you must go through, with the knowledge that things will never really change and you will have to face your life alone. However, this is not usually the case for most kids. There is most often somewhere to turn to for love in the family, even if it is a grandparent, cousin, uncle, aunt, grandmother, etc. Just try to find alternate sources of support in your life and accept your mother as she is.
Dr. Vera Rabie-Azoory
The other
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Your mom just wants to get a rise out of you. Ignore her. When she says your ugly, say "I no. I'm proud of it," or "Where do you think I get it from?" OR "So? If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."
Also, if she says, "Why can't you be like your sister?" Say, "I can't. I don't want to. I want to be me. I'm me. Just me and nothing more, MOM." Put emphises into the word mom. I have a friend who does that to me. I ignore her. See, whenever someone insults you, you have to take the insult as a compliment, no matter how much it hurts. If you show anger or sadness, they'll take this as a "Go ahead! Make fun of me! I'm stupid!" sign. Anyways, just try some of the things I told you and see if it works. And, maybe just try to fix up your looks. It really doesn't matter whats on the outside, it's whats on the inside that counts... I sounded kinda like a counsuler...
I hope this helped! :D If you want to talk sometime email me at piratechicka@otmail.com.
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this is a particularly difficult thing because you live with your mom so your always around her. but, as hard as it sounds, you have to just ignore it :/ and when she says "you should try that for your skin" just say "i guess it wouldn't hurt trying it, can you buy it for me?" because maybe she's just trying to be helpful in those situations. but when she calls you ugly, just think on the inside "haha how sad. a mother thats calling her daughter ugly. when i have kids im not going to be like her." and just laugh it off. it'll put a smile on your face.
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Hey, I'am Em231 if your mom is hurting you like
hitting you or something like that I think you
should call the child abuse center but only if she is hurting you ok.At schooltalk to you school counsler about your mom ok .
Ihope I helped.
need any more help just write ok.
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Can you drive yet? Depending on where you're moving to, hopefully there's a library within walking distance of your new house that you can hang out at and do homework there. If not, you can drive. I'm not sure my answer is a good one. It's kind of avoidant. If you want some peace and quiet from home you can do that. Yeah, it seems that I have this love and hate relationship with my parents too. Sometimes they're so nice and I love it when they care but then they have this huge nasty side that you can't believe exists in the same person. It's crazy. Did you move far from your old house? I'm sure you still maintain contact with your old friends. It's not going to be the same as it's going to be, the relationships, but you can use AIM or something to keep in touch. Also, don't worry, you'll make lots of new friends in your new school!
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you seriously need someone to talk to. someone to comfort you whenever you're sad. I know moms can be a little intimidating, specially when shes bipolar, but shes your mom, and you have to love her. She's the one that brought you into this life. I'm sorry for the way that your mom is treating you, but soon, it's all going to be over. Once school starts, life should be a little easier, because since its a new school, it means new friends. Be happy! Turn that frown upside down. Whenever you need to talk, msg me on aim or on msn.
aim: smallazn4lyfe
msn: smallazn69@hotmail.com
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Im so so so sorry.
Have you considered talking to your Dad? Maybe you could tell him that you cant handle your Mom's rude coments any longer, and that she either needs to stop or you need to move out. There is no reason for you to be treated this way, especially from your own mother. Im not sure if you watch degrassi, but there was an epesode where Eli's Mom has a drinking problem so Eli cuts herself. It gets to the point where they cant live together anymore and her Dad is in the army so Eli finds a roommate and her mom pays for her to have her own apartment. Im not sure if you are old enough to do this, but maybe you could move back home (you said that you moved) and live with one of your old friends? Do you think your parents could go for that? You need to get out of that enviroment, whether that means changing the atmosphere or leaving. goodluk!
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