|
step dad
Im 16 and my dad died when i was 8 and my mom recently got married to a guy who used to be in the army. I have two sister and now i have 3 step brothers. He is like way strict and his kids are like perfect angels but me and my sisters have never really been raised that strict and for lack of better words are pretty wild. my mom never really punished us for things( ive never been grounded and ive never ahd a curfew) and now this guy is trying to control us and take over our lives. What should i do?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Well, there's really two ways to approach this.
If you have a really good relationship with your mom, you should sit down with her and explain to her how you feel about how her new husband is parenting.
If she understands where you're coming from, maybe she could sit down with her husband and like.. talk to him about how strict he is, and maybe ask him to bring it down a level, at least until you get used to the new style of parenting.
If you're not too close with your mom, you might just want to take the problem on head-on. Just talk to her new husband, and explain to him that you aren't used to his style of parenting. Or maybe you and your sisters could talk to your step-brothers to kind of get background on your mom's new husband. Since they've known him longer than you have, they could give you tips on how to act around him, you know?
Good luck, and if you need anything else, just let me know. :]
]
Hey. Sorry to hear about your dad]:
Well, you could tell your mom that you aren't used to, and don't really like the way that her new husband it running things. Tell her that you aren't used to being raised so strictly, and it really bothers you how your life has completely changed, all too fast.
You could even tell him this directly, if you feel comfortable enough. But in my oppinion, the easiest way to deal with this would be to have your mom talk to him. Try to name specific rules that bother you, and when your stepdad has tried to use them on you. Be sure to be polite and flexible, and if the conversation starts to make you angry, leave for a little while and come back when you're temper has restored. Patience is basically key.
Good Luck.
]
well i know how it is to be controlled by someone who thinks they are able to do that..it is very frustrating and i know i wouldnt want to be put through that again.
but you should try to atleast take into consideration that they are stricter than you are used to, because atleast if you show alittle bit of respect to them they might be less strict with you.
or you could try to talk to them about how you feel about them "bargeing" into your life and trying to control it. i hate when guys think they can take over who you are.
you were raised like i was with my mom, she wasnt very strict with how me and my sister were until she got with someone, then it was like she got really strict with us too, and now i feel like i have to run my own life, and that she doesnt trust me.
so you should try to talk to either that person or your mother about this, because they might understand where you are coming from...if not..i would be happy to help you out again!=)
hope this helps!=)
]
First talk to your sisters, to make sure that you are all on the same page, and all feeling the same pressure from this new authority figure in your lives. Once you know you're all in it together, talk to your mom-- just you girls. No step siblings, no step dad. Explain to your mom that you're feeling alot of pressure to conform just for this guy, and how hard it is for the sudden change. I can understand how drastic it really is, when it went to no male authority- to a really strict one. Have your mom talk to your new step dad, if she will, and explain to him that you girls aren't quite used to things yet, and can't be expected to just jump to follow his new, unfamiliar rules.
Maybe he can let up a little on his rules, and your mom can gradually tighten down on hers... Not just so you girls will become goody-two-shoes or anything of the sort, but so your family can have unity. It'll take some time- it certainly won't be an overnight change, I mean- and it will cause a few fights/arguements for a while, but in the end, there should be some sort of compromise.
And, as a last resort, if your mom won't go to your step dad-- you and your biological siblings should go to him, and explain the problem. He should be understanding to his new family.
]
Talk to mom about your new stepfather. They (your parents) should sit down and have a discussion about their expectations for the six of you and what discipline is appropriate. I'm not going to lie; life with your new stepfather will probably be stricter than want you're used to. You should also try to get to know the guy. Maybe if he knows and understands you better he'll loosen up on the rules and curfews. You should also try to show your parents that you're responsible and can be trusted with freedom. For example, if you abide by their crappy curfew for a few weeks, they should be more willing to renegotiate.
]
I'm so sorry about your father.
And this is a tough situation.
I'd start off by talking to your mom.
She's really the only option.
Get her, along with your sisters, together and explain that you feel like her new husband is way too controling, and that you weren't raised like that.
Tell her you don't like the way he's treating you.
Have your mom try and talk to your stepdad about it, and see if it helps.
But you shouldn't totally rely on your mom for this, maybe you should start acting more mature (if you don't already) which you might not have to, I don't know the complete situation.
You don't neccessarily have to behave like your step siblings, whom you call perfect angels.
Which I doubt by the way is true
because nobody is perfect :]
<3 Laura.
]
More Questions: |