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not allowed to have a bf...
ok..srry this is gonna be long...i got a bf at school..even though i'm not allowed to have a bf (i'm 15/female) and a week and a half later my mom and dad found out...and i've only hugged and held hands w/ my bf,fyi...my dad said i can hold hands w/ him..and hug him only, but as friends. so i asked him " why would i hold hands w/ one of my friends" he said "take the offer or leave it" and i told my bf all this and he said "whatever ur parents dont know wont hurt them" but if i ever went out w/ my bf to the movies or anywhere my parents said we had to go w/ a group...and i want to kiss him and stuff but if i went out w/ him its for sure that my parents would ask "did you two kiss" and i cant lie..i dont want to lie...i have my parents trust and loosing it would be awful...but i'd die if i had to be his gf and not kiss him or anything...and i like him a lot! any advice?
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Hmm, in a way I agree with what the others said but you've made it clear you don't want to lie to themand youdon't want to lose their trust (lets face it eventually your parents will find out you lied at some point or another just like how they found out you have a bf).
Although your parents might seem to be over protective you also have to understand they have been in your place before too (simply saying they are old fashoned isn't true). For example, your dad knows what guys at your age are like and what they think - he's been there too. I guess what I'm trying to say is that although they may seem old fashoned and over protective what they reallyare doing (of which I have no doubt at all) is just looking out for you and your well being. You said yourself you want to kiss him and more - this is exactly what your parents are trying to protecting you from.
Your bf also said what your parents don't know won't hurt them and everyone seems to be encouraging that... again this is another thing your parents are trying to protect you from - from falling into the whole peer pressure thing. Everyone is encouraging you to lie even though you don't want to. You need to be able to know when to listen to yourself instead of listening to everyone else. :]
As for your bf I think it should be okay to still keep him as a bf and as someone else said, I think kissing isn't ever a big deal. Just don't go past that point. If he does try to encourage you to go further after that (using the what your parents dont know wont hurt them line again) then you may want to rethink being with him.
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Okay, slow down. Everything will be all right. Now, don't let him pressure you into a situation with your parents. I know you two like eachother a lot, but when he says that your parents don't have to know, that's a red flag. Gain the trust of your parents before you kiss him. It sounds to me like they maybe lost a little trust when they found out about the bf thing. It's a tough situation that you got yourself into... but you haven't kissed him yet. Slow down and think about things as they happen and I'm sure you'll be fine.
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Parents are over protective. They mean well but sometimes they dont understand how the world turns now a days. You have to remember they were brought up when you didnt date or have sex until you were married. I know their trust is important to you, but your social life at this age is very important. There is nothing wrong with kissing. Just dont take it any further. As for the movie thing, that is up to you. I went with friends all the time to the movies. If you want privacy , sit by yourselves but in the same movie. A kiss is a kiss, dont let fear keep you from what makes you happy. Like i said, just leave it at a kiss. If it makes you feel any better. I still have to convince my fiance that our daughter can date before she is 50....your their little girl, and you are growing up, its scary to them.
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well you can go to the movies as a group then just go see your own movie. as to kissing your bf is right 'whatever your parents dont know wont hurt them'.
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