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he's sexually frustrated...
ok im 19 and i have been with my man for like, a year and a half. the guy hasn't had sex in almost 2 years and i am still a virgin. he knows and respects that. But recently he has become sexually frustrated b/c we live together and he says it feels like we are already married with out any of ther perks ... meaning sex. im scared and i want to sleep with him i really do, but im afraid of the pain. he told me there are only two options for this situation. 1: I allow him to go and strictly have sex with another woman, just to get rid of the frustration (but he said he doesnt want that cuz he knows it will hurt me) or 2: for me to get over my fear and go through with it.
well, it all boils down to im afraid of both options, and well, i don't face fears very well. what should i do? Any kind of advice is welcome please help me out.
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well, i dont think those are very fair options. hes not being fair with you. hes pressuring you.
if you want to sleep with him, not because of him pressuring you but because you want to, then you can figuire out Å way so that its not as painful.
if you dont want to, then tell him that. also, tell him that he can NOT go sleep with sombody else. and if hes that frustrated he can leave.
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Well, the options he gave you are pretty stupid for someone who is supposedly so in love with you. He has two hands and he can warm up some baby oil if he's that frustrated.
As for being so afraid of the pain, you shouldn't be. If you're very aroused, and you're comfortable with your boyfriend and not nervous, then you barely even notice it.
If he loves you then he will be okay with a lot of foreplay to be sure he doesn't hurt you. The reason that it hurts so bad for most females is that they're not wet enough and their muscles were tight from nerves.
Even though you're wet, you should use a water based lube. Put some on the condom and some on your labia. It should be very slippery when you touch it.
You can go to this website for additional information about your first time.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
It has a few pages and should tell you just about everything you need to know.
Hope it works out.
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Take the third option. Dump the @$$hole.
If he really loves you and cares about you, he should be able to wait. The ultimatum he provided was ridiculous... it doesn't take into account your feelings at all.
You can do better than that. Don't go against your personal beliefs just because he tells you that you have to.
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When you want to have sex with someone Thats your feelings and only your feelings. Being a virgin is not a crime. If you passionatly love him and Feel like he's the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with then you should take both his and your feelings into consideration. If he really loves you he will respect your decision. Give it a try and see what happens. Maybe it wont be so bad.
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There are always more options than just those two. If you're not ready to have sex, he should respect that. "Marriage" without the perks? Please. Marriage is so much more than sex and so is a relationship, even when you're living together. However, if it is just a matter of the pain, it is something you're going to deal with eventually, so if you really want to have sex with him, do so. But if you're really not ready and just feel pressured, then you need to talk to him and if he can't accept that, find someone else. I know I would be doing that if my boyfriend said "sleep with me or I'll find some other woman you know, just to sleep with."
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ok look,your gonna get screwed one day so its now or never.If you reaaaly trust this guy and love him to death then go ahead man.Its now or never if you dont hes gonna cheat on you and wont even tell you he did!!!you dont want your WHOLE relationship to ruin because of your cowardice right??its not gonna kill you,you wont turn handicapped if you do it,itll just hurt a litlle for a while then its over!
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Option number two.
So long as you're really sure you want to do it.
Listen, sweetie - I'm sure your boyfriend will understand to take it slow. He's not going to purposely hurt you. Besides, I hear it's not that bad anyway.
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