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im afraid for my bestfriend
weve been bestfriends 7 years but now i think were growing apart. im 14 shes 13. im very perky and peppy. she is very dark hearted. i wear pinks and brights she wears the blacks and darks. we have always been real different like this but now i gues its going to extremes. prep and goth totally different music she listens to screaming and rock stuff i listen to pop. even when we go to the mall i want hollistar she wants hottopic. when we go to dances its just creepy the people she can meet and how she dances. i dont wana lose her shes all i really got. i make it seem like i have alot of friends but its really only her. she has alot of gothic friends that were there for her when she was suicideal. she just scared me so i was kinda away i regret it now. now i realize that i left her when she was dieing literally how meaner can i get to her. leaveing your bestfriend to die. we talk over aim and very little at school but thats pretty much all. i dont like her friends i hate them so much their freaks and just try to kill theirselvs for fun? i told her that it made her scream and go to them. she doesnt cry not even through all the deaths shes been through. i can tell in her eyes shes dieing inside. shes always in trouble always pissed at something. shes very mad im scared of her she talks about death and killing and she can kill someone instantly shes just scarey. shes always with her other friends she said there the only ones in my life to understand me truely. they have kept her alive this hole year. she will not let anyone help her not even her parents but how do i. there is alot of questions about friends on here so i was hopeing anything will help me. anything please shes all i need
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hmm this is a hard one ...
i think that, those deaths you mentioned are probably triggering her behaviors
]when my brother died my behavior changed so much
to the point where i was also suisidal ]
her friends have nothing to do with yours and her friendship
[i have lost contact with a lot of my friends for the same reasond as both of you ]
so i cant really answer your question
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keep talking just keep talking to her no matter what
and if she scares you tell her
she wont change
but she will know that you are there and that you care for her
tell her what you think of her friends
shes your closest friend dont let that go
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======off subject=====
work on your spelling please
======no offence=======
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i'm sorry to hear about that.
being bestfriends for a lifetime can be huge deal and very complicated because people change. like you said. have you talked to her how you feel about this? you can't really do anything to help her with the suicide, but if you know she trie to do it again, TELL SOMEONE. You'll regret it if you don't. in the meantime, say you'll always be there for her, even when her other friends aren't. so if she needs to talk, you're there.don't force her to be you're friend, i know its hard, but she will come to you when she needs you the most.
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I completely understand your friend. I know she's your best friend, but you have to let her be. By telling her how to behave you're just making her want to be around you less. If you can't accept her for how she is, she probably won't want to be around you. Calm down, and think of her clique as the same, just darker. Don't discriminate against those who choose to dress differently. Try hanging out with her new friends some. It could help you understand better.
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I answered this already, and it was on my inbox. This is insulting.
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Just be friends with her again then. Obviously if she is trying to kill herself, then she is depressed. If she is around depressing people all the time, its just going to make her more depressed. But just try and hang out with her more and do fun things with her. But never let her leave her friends if she doesn't want to, because thats not friend like at all. Just be a friend to her. Thats all. Support her. If she wants to go into hottopic, let her. GO with her, those people in there are A LOT A LOT nicer than the ones in hollister.
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This isn't going to be what you want to hear. Just a head's up. You're welcome to [x] out the page if you'd like.
First off, don't label yourself or your friend. Friends don't label each other. Don't label other people either. Nobody looks like a soup can; stop making them believe they are. There is absolutely NO reason to label anyone. The only reason why people do that is because they don't know who they are.
Secondly, why would you leave your friend when she was going through such hard times? That's horrible. If she was really your best friend, and if you really cared about her as much as you claim you do, you would've never left her alone when she needed you the most. That's not what best friends do. I mean, yes those things are hard to handle when your best friend is dying, but you stick through it anyways because you care. Never leave her alone again.
Why do you think her friends are freaks? Because they dress weird & listen to "freaky" music? I listen to that type of music, and I wear black sometimes -- am I weird too? Don't judge them by what they wear or the music they listen to. Not only is that extremely closeminded & rude, but it's preventing you from getting some new friends. When you label someone based solely on clothing or music, you're missing out on what's naturally important. Their personality. How do you know that they're not nice kids? I'm sure they are. Most "Gothic" kids tend to be extremely nice & more open to things. I mean, sure they might not be to some people but that's because those people never gave them a chance & always did mean things to them. So instead of judging them, get to know them & try to become friends. Instead of only having one friend, you'll have a few.
And "gothic" kids do NOT cut themselves for fun. Some kids do, & that makes them attention seekers & lame, but most kids have a reason to. Maybe there's a problem at home - maybe they don't like themselves - maybe they have a ton of problems & there's no way out but death. Never assume it's for "fun" because it's usually not. I used to cut myself and I never did it to be cool or to fit in. I did it because I had problems with myself, with other people & my home. My environment was stressful & nothing was going right.
But there can be plenty of reasons why your friend hangs out with other kids more. Maybe they relate to her more. They get how she's feeling, and they've got lots in common. Try to build up your relationship with her by talking to her more & by talking to her friends. By doing that, you can not only meet new people, but you can begin to understand that not everything has to be the way you make it out to be. There's nothing wrong with rock music. There's nothing wrong with the color black, and there's nothing wrong with being a little different.
So instead of pushing these kids away, talking shit about them, labeling them, & making things hard for them -- get to know them. Listen to some of their music so you're not completely lost when they're talking about a band. Maybe ask them how life is like & what their favorite things to do are. Stop labeling people -- that includes yourself, others, your friend & her friends. And stop thinking of just the differences & the negatives. Life is so much more positive. Don't see the world through BLACK and WHITE. See the world through COLOUR.
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Your friend needs help. She has manic depression issues or bi-polar.
Do you know her parents well enough to talk to them?
A school counselor?
Or, voice your concerns to your friend and adapt to your differences and embrace them.
Opposites attract. Apparently you both share qualities that each admire and lack themselves.
The years of friendship speaks louder that anything.
Apologize to her if you feel you bailed on her and promise you will be there for her. She needs someone she can feel COMFORTABLE really sharing her deepest feelings with, without feeling she's being judged. That's why she hangs with Goths.
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