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freedom in marriage
i love my husband with all thats in me, and i know he loves me the same. i have a toriffic marriage to a great man, he is my best friend and whats good we comfide in eachother about any and everythings. this is my question: would he love me less or get tried of me because i don't want to go to his mother house with him sometimes?
can love ever be misunderstood for infatuation or what seperate love from infatuation, whats the defferents between them? answer if you can..thanks
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Hello.
Naah, I don't think he would love you less at all if you didn't want to go to his mothers house sometimes, I really see no reason why he would love you less over something little like that. He may wonder why you don't want to go and such or wonder what's going on but other than that I don't think it would take away any of thelove he has for you at all (even if he may get angry at you not wanting to go but as a I said I don't see it as a major issue at all). I seriously don't think he would get tired of you either especially since you both have such an amazing relationship/marriage together with how open you both are with each other. It almost sounds like the perfect kind of relationship to have with a partner. :]
I think infatuation can be misunderstood for love very easily just as lust is often confused with love but clearly there is a difference. Infatuation can be viewed as being in an emotional state where you're almost consumed by the other person. The person envelops your every thought and your very being.
I had a look at various sites to see which give a very clear definition of what infatuation is and the following site (link below) was the best one I found/read. I hope it helps to give you a better/clearer understanding of what the difference between the two are, I hope. :]
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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Okay, first, my background, so you know why I'm qualified to answer: I'm 34 yo female, married ten years next month to a man I adore. We dated 5 years before getting married and didn't have sex until more than a year after we met (he was overseas for 5 months). We have a kindergarten-aged child.
My husband doesn't like going to my mother's house. It's boring and he's allergic to the cat. He always ends up playing with the kids because the other adults can't be bothered or want the kids to play by themselves and I'm busy chatting. No problem. I ask him to go about once a year. I don't mention it to my mother. I always say simply that he can't get the time off of work and that works because we're in a different state from my mother. Sometimes I don't go to visit his mother, whom I cherish completely, because I think sometimes men want to be with their moms without the wife along. They can talk about things they may not be able to discuss openly when I'm there, such as how much better her meatloaf is than mine. They can reminisce about childhood events without me getting bored and changing the subject. It doesn't make me any less a part of the family.
That being said, you must not have been married long. Your husband should realize that everyone needs alone time and it's okay to ask for it. You probably could use some time alone just to watch t.v. or talk on the phone or go shopping or sleep in or whatever. Don't be shy or afraid you'll hurt him. Just ask for it.
So the difference between love and infatuation, to me, is that love is a selfless, enduring affection and need for the other. Infatuation is self-centered and fleeting. When you're in love with someone, you let him go if that's what's best for him. With infatuation, you'd do anything to keep him there with you because you're more concerned about yourself. Love may start out with infatuation and grow, but infatuation does not last long because it does not make for a balanced, sustainable relationship.
So if you go to dinner at your in-laws' house every Sunday, perhaps your husband and in-laws would understand if you made other plans 1 time each month.
Hope it works out.
Sabine
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well, i'll try to help you out
Actually in marriage, 2 families were become ONE big families, so if you relly love him, you must love his family, his friends and take a chance for that! don't be too selfish, HIs mom is your mom, your mom is his mom etc. "brother in law, sister in law, etc" is just a literall speaking!
if you are able to accept his love, you also must be able to accept his family!
like a proverbs saying "Love me, love my dog"
the diffrence is clear;
1.love based on SEX only need skin beauty, looks, age, other physical factors
2. love based on FEELINGS AND CARE only need affection, action-reaction, trust and JEALOUSY(this action show that your lover has an affection on you)
So, misunderstood is an usual things happen in relationship (not only in marriage but also in other social relation)! it shows that you just need to get to know more about your husbands an try to care(tolerate) and adjust your self(adjust all the things between you and him)
just remember that everybody is created to be UNIQUE! in marriage, both of you devote yourselves each other!
Hope i could help!
9dayz ^_^"
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okay..i dont know if my answer will really help you because im too young to get married or know about that stuff but ill give it a try..
i dont think that your husband will get tired of you because you dont wanna go to his moms house. if he really loved you he wouldnt get tired of you for something like that. but at the same time maybe you should go to his moms house a little more often to show him that you care..because after all it is his mother.
for your second question..
i dont really think love can be misunderstood for infatuation.
an infatuation is more like a crush..or liking someone. which is totally different from loving someone. infatuation is kind of more flirty and not as serious [[i cant think of the right word]] as love. love is like such a strong feeling for someone..idk..its kinda hard to describe..but i think you get what i mean.
i hope i helped =]
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infatuation is more like , when you see someone perfect in all ways ...and love is defined as when you see someone perfect eventhough you know his best and his worst things about him and still you see him perfect , and all his wrong things doesn't matter because you love him all above them ..hope i can help at least a litte bit
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