ok sorry if this is long...
so i'm 14/f and in 8th grade. and back when i was in sixth grade me and this guy jamie really liked each other. but we always pretended we didn't, but we both knew we liked each other. then, half way through sixth grade he moved to hong kong, like actually to live there. we talked online a little bit and we both admitted that we liked each other. then during 3rd quarter that year i started going out with this guy ben. well, school in hk wasn't working out for jamie, so he came back for 4th quarter. but i was still going out with ben then, so jamie stopped flirting with me. but i dumped ben before jamie went back to hong kong, and then we flirted. so anyway, during 7th grade i talked to jamie a little bit and we both play tennis, so he said that over the summer we should play tennis together. well i forgot about it, but over the summer i got a call from him about "taking me up on that tennis match". so we played tennis and then he asked me to go to a movie with him, then he went back to hong kong. so then this year, he came back here for a week for his friend's bar mitzvah. he kind of talked to me a little, but very, very little. i think he liked me over the summer (maybe) but he's coming back this summer and i want to know what i should expect. i am willing to have a long distance relationship with him, but what should i do about it? call him when he's in town? we go to the same country club, so i'll see him at tennis, but i really want to have a relationship with him. what should i do? thanks so much
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? savethedramaforthestage answered Saturday May 5 2007, 6:57 pm: Long distance relationships are tough but if you are willing to make it work then he might as well. You should think about how often he comes back to the states, if he comes back a few times a year its different if he only comes back say once a year. Yes, if you want a relationship with him you should call him when he's in town. See how it works out but if its very very akward after a few times of talking to him a long distance relationship might not work out. Remember it might be akward the first time you talk to him when he comes back because sometimes guys that age dont kno how to express them selves like they are not willing to say heyy I miss you soo much!!! like girls would guys will sometimes say nothing making it very akward. Anyway try to brake the ice if there is any, call him, and if hes willing and your willing to start a long distance relationship then its worth a try. Let me kno how it goes! I hope I helped! [ savethedramaforthestage's advice column | Ask savethedramaforthestage A Question ]
amandaaxoox answered Wednesday May 2 2007, 10:26 pm: helloo. :] hah, you don't have to apologize for the length .. the more detail the better! besides, i'm here to listenn. long distance relationships can work.. you have to be sure that you really really truellyy like jamie and have hope in the fact that you two will be together in the future .. both emotionally as well as physically. in a way, it's almost like an imaginary friend if you're never gonna actually get to be with this person for a period of your life.
but there are a few things that can get in the way at times in a long distance relationship- distrust, temptation, and loss of interest. one, you might find it hard to build trust with him because for all you know, he could be with plenttyy of other girls in hongkong and you would never find out. that thought tends to tear at people's mindss. also, you might have the temptation to be the cheater. with him gone .. you might think, what harm will it do to be with someone else if he's never gonna know? and that would end up overwhelming you with guilt in the long run. lastly, without excitement in a relationship .. you might just lose interest and realize that you've been with someone for so long and youve gotten nothing out of it. you might find it pretty boring after a while just communicating via email, IM, or phone every now and then.
if i were you, i would consider things like that before you commit to this relationship. i promise there are other fish in the sea, ones that you won't have to drill a hole into the core of the earth to get to. i'm sorry if this response was a little pessemistic, but it's just my view on it and i personally find a long distance relationship not much of a relationship at all if you aren't experiencing a head-over-heels-i-need-to-call-this-person-my-own kinda feeling. i hope ie helped somehoww ! [ amandaaxoox's advice column | Ask amandaaxoox A Question ]
shellbell665 answered Wednesday May 2 2007, 8:59 pm: I deffinitly think you should call him when he gets back in town. ask him if he wants to hang out so you guys can catch up on some things. He seems like someone you really enjoy being around, & that you cant keep off your mind. so If you start getting those feelings that he might like you again AND if you really are willing to have a long distance relationship, then i think you should go for it and ask him to be your boyfriend. If he says that he doesnt want a long distance realtionship, then dont be upset just enjoy every minute you can with him over the summer.
i hope everything works out great :] [ shellbell665's advice column | Ask shellbell665 A Question ]
hotie91292 answered Wednesday May 2 2007, 7:17 pm: well, it sounds like you both really like each other. you should make sure you keep in touch with him always and make some plans for when he comes into town next.make sure he is aware that you are interested. let me know if i helped! [ hotie91292's advice column | Ask hotie91292 A Question ]
christina answered Wednesday May 2 2007, 6:35 pm: If you like this boy & he doesn't know if you do or not right now, then you need to tell him. It'll make things easier for you when you see him.
Should you do a long distance relationship? Honestly, that's completely up to you. I honestly don't recommend them because you're 14 years old. You don't know what you want yet, and if you settle down with some guy who lives half the world away, you'll never see him. You might start to like someone else & then you'll get all these bad feelings about it. If you think you're mature enough, however, then go for it. Do what you think is right for you.
Like I said, if you like him, tell him. Talk to him about a possible relationship & see if he's up for the idea. If he doesn't want to because of distance, then you need to accept that. If he ever comes back to America to live, then take up a relationship then. Call him when he's in town & even when he's not. Keep a friendship going until you're ready to tell him. Good luck. [ christina's advice column | Ask christina A Question ]
lilmegsoko answered Wednesday May 2 2007, 6:25 pm: Ok ill be honest. Im sure you really like this guy but let me tell you about a little personal experience of mine. When i was 15 I met a guy. Oh my gosh he was the most beautiful amazing guy ever. I fell head over heals. I lived in MI he lived in FL. Things ended up happening and he said we could have a long distance relationship. All i thought about was him when i went home. Then one day he just stopped calling and paging me. It tore me apart so bad that i became severely depressed. What i am trying to tell you hun, is that long distance relationships at your age, are very VERY difficult to keep up.You are young why tie yourself down? When he is in town I would go up to him and talk to him and make the best of it maybe even go on some dates. But dont tie yourself down to him. In the end it will hurt you, even if your relationship seems ok. You will miss him and it will make you sad, and because you are tied down you wont be able to take your mind off him because you will feel guilty for even talking to another guy. Then if he moves back, hey! You guys might make an awesome couple. But wait until you know for sure he is what you want, because let me tell you losing them even from that far away will tear your heart apart. See other guys, then when you two meet later and live closer to eachother there will be that anticipation and it will make your relationship that much stronger. [ lilmegsoko's advice column | Ask lilmegsoko A Question ]
Brezzer12 answered Wednesday May 2 2007, 6:12 pm: WOW. a lot of moving back and forth. Thats really hard. I would say that if he is actually going to stay were you live for a while go ahead and go for it. You both like eachother but the whole moving thing has effected both of your emotions. I would say that he would still like you. Call him when he gets home and be like so i say we have a rematch. Then hopefully you'll be able to play some tennis - which like last time could lead to the movies and etc.
But yeah i would say as long as hes staying and not going back to Hong Kong, go for him. Things maybe a little weird at frist b/c time does change people and feelings. Moving can be pretty hard expecially for someone still kinda youngish [ Brezzer12's advice column | Ask Brezzer12 A Question ]
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