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humorist-workshop
mother
ok im 15/f and me and my mom like CANNOT get along anymore. i cant take it. shes always yelling at me, she always drinks, she dosnt let me have anyone over anymore. i have a boyfriend and he lives with us now but he wont get a job and i get yelled at for that too. and i dont no what to say to either of them. like my mom is trying to make me get a job too and im too young. what should i doo?
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I'm not sure where you live, but depending on the laws where you are, you can't work until 16 or 17 years old simply because labor laws & such. You need to explain that to your mother, and try to get it through to her as best you can. =) It'd help a lot.
Also, please urge your boyfriend to get a job. I'm not sure how old he is, but if he's old enough make him get one. He lives with you, so he has to lead a normal life at your house. He doesn't live with his parents anymore, so he's no longer under their rules, & he has to learn responsibility sooner or later.
When your mom yells though, ignore her. If you get pissed & do it back, you're just feeding into it which will cause her to do it more. When she drinks, make sure she doesn't drive because not only will she be in danger, other people will be also.
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Hi.
If you live in the UK then gettin a job will be VERY difficult since not a lot of places will hire someone who is 15 (the paperwork for one as well as the limited amount of hours you'd only be allowed to do by law would mean most companies are better off hiring someone part-time or through an agency). First things first you need to make this clear to your mom - that you CAN'T get a job because places are very picky about hiring under 16's. If you are in the USA though I believe the rules are different so maybe someone reading this who's from the US can clarify?
It seems you actually have two problems here. Your bf and your communications problem with your mom. Firstly, if your bf has moved in then your mom may feel that he is living there but doing nothing to contribute - this could be a part of the problem. Providing your bf is 16+ (UK) then I suggest you give him a kick up the ass and tell him to get out there and find a job. Not only will that mean he can at least provide for you (take you out and such) but it may improve things a little with your mom. You need to be firm with your bf about this too. If he doesn't want to get a job does he expect to live with you and your mom doing nothing but living off of income support? Your mom yells at you about it becuase he is YOUR bf and therefore your responsibility.
As for your mom you need to try and talk to her when she's not drunk and is sober. I know how hard this can be because my dad is the same as well and just drinks and drinks (although he has a good reason that I can see it's still a bad habit especially when it gets to the point he can't control it). When your mom is sober sit down and try to start up a conversation with her. Tell her you don't want you both to get into an argument - you just want to talk. She will listen (hopefully) and then talk to her about things. Tell her your worried about her and about how much she drinks. Tell her you are goin to get your bf out there to find a job so he's not sittin around doing nothing all day. If she won't listen to you at all or you feel you cant talk to her then write her a note. Don't get angry or come across as 'having an attitude'. Just talk to her in your note and tell her you don't like you both arguing.
Sorry I can't really be of much more help that this but if there is anythin more I can do feel free to get in touch. I hope you manage to try and get things rolling on trying to fix things up with your mom. Good luck. :]
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The first thing I would do hun is tell your bf to move out. I am certain that he is causing your mom to go nuts just having him in the house. You two can still see each other outside of the home, but you and your mom need to work things out together at home. I know you're young, but remember....you will only have one mom...and someday you'll be glad you really tried to get along.
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i know how you feel. my mom drives me insane sometimes too. your gonna have to tell your boyfriend that he has to get a job not only for him, but for you so that your mom will get off your back about it. as for you getting a job, you're not really that young. you could go to your town hall or local library and ask them for some career oppurtunities for people your age. try to talk to your mom and explain to her how she's making you feel. even though you may not want to talk to her, you should and get everything off your chest. keep me updated,
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ok. well this is hard. first you should tell your b.f. that he needs to start helping with rent or something. tell him you love him but with another person its getting really expensive ;make up an excuse like that and help him get applications and stuff. for your mom idk if you wanna hear this but you two sound like you need counseling for mother/daughter realtionships. your mother sounds like an alcholic. however if your looking for advice from a counselor but cant pay for one or whatev. go to
www.crisiskids.com or
www.kidscrisis.com i dont remeber whcich it is.
sign up for a name. go to private chats. and you can talk 1 on 1 with a counselor.
edit - its kidscrisis.com sorry about that.
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