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my best friend.
my best friend, hes amazing, loud, hiper, HOTT (!), and depressed. and i cant help but have feelings for him, i mean im a horney girl (lol). but i miss him, he was admitted to the phsc ward in a hospitale. and i havent talked to him in 3 days. and i need to talk to him sooooo badly. but like he knows my number, and i know that there is a pay phone there. but i know he has like really bad depression and i know he gets embarrassed easily, and i know he likes me. and he dosent know i know hes in there. but his mom told me (and his mom told him to call me). and i know he has feelings for me. do you think hes embarrassed? what do you think i should do?
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Yeah, he's embarassed. Guys don't like showing emotion or looking weak because their whole life they've been told that things like that, & crying aren't manly so they hardly ever show emotion. Anyways, go visit him, and when he gets out of there, ask him out! You like him, he likes you, go for it. =)
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Indeed. Males, in general, do not like to look weak. He needs some time to recuperate, so try not to take it personally.
Also, if he's as depressed as it sounds like he is, it's not healthy for you two to be in a relation ship. What he really really needs right now is a 'best friend' who will stick by his side.
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Here's an important thing to know about guys of any age - they do not like to look weak.
Bear in mind, I'm NOT saying that being hospitalized for any reason is a sign of weakness, nor is a mental health issue something that anyone should be ashamed of. But that is probably how he feels about it himself.
It is important to him that he be allowed to show personal strength and solve this problem for himself. For you to intrude upon him during what he sees as a moment of weakness would be terribly embarrassing for him. Perhaps someday your relationship can evolve to the point where he feels he can lean on you in times like these, but for now you cannot support him in any way except by being there for him if he reaches out.
When he does reach out to you (and I hope he does, because you seem like a very caring person), know that he's going to be vulnerable and that he will have lingering issues of shame and self-doubt. The best thing you will be able to do is praise him for having surmounted his problems and for being able to get through a difficult time. This is the kind of support he will need; it will give him confidence and strength to continue to heal himself.
There is an appropriate time to tell him that he can call on you for help, and that is (strangely enough) when he says that he won't need it. When he says something like, "I'm going to be all right," or "don't worry about me," then that is the time to tell him, "I know you'll be all right, and remember that I'm here for you." Basically, you're telling him that you believe in his power to take care of himself, but that you will share the load if he asks you to.
Also, bear this in mind: he's probably always going to need more support than some other guys. Make sure you're prepared to offer it if you want your relationship to become closer. If he tells you what it is that he has (sounds like bipolar disorder to me, but I'm no psychiatrist), then do what you can to find out about it so you will be able to deal with it in the future.
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i'm sure he is embarrassed, can you imagine being sent to the psych ward and then go out and tell people about it. i think that the best thing for you to do is to go visit him, i mean he may be embarrassed but i'm sure that he would like your company. i mean if you really like him and he likes you then the best way to get to know each other is by seeing each other at your worst, and if you show him that you care enough to visit him when he's down, then maybe things can happen and he'll see that you mean a lot to him. Just try it!
hope this helps a little
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It seems like he thinks that you'll think less of him if you know that he's in the hospital. But since he hasn't called yet, and his mom told him to call you, you should just wait for him to take his own sweet time and when he's ready, he'll call you (that is, if he wants to.) You might be tempted to call HIM, if you are able to, but that will just make matters worse because he might be embarressed about the fact that you know he's in the hospital. So just let him call you on his own, and take things slow for now considering you can't communicate so well with him right now.
♥ lena
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