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Keeping friends during major life changes.
From the age of five until the age of fifteen, I was seriously depressed. I didn't function normally and I attempted suicide frequently. I got help and for the last couple years I've been making constant progress--but that's created a new set of problems. The friends I once had to depend on to save me from myself don't know how to deal with me as a happier, healthier person and friends I've made more recently don't understand when I have an occasional relapse and can't be the bouncy, happy girl they're used to. I'm afraid that I'll end up completely alone and that I'll end up backspinning to the way that I used to be, but I don't know of any way to make people understand the changes I'm making. Any suggestions?
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o please dont use suiside as a souliton ever. trust me on this there are people out there who probally really care about you and if you did such a thing then problems would go on them. so think of others. dont worry about anything at all you wont be alone and if you need pople to talk to just tell them if they are BESTFIRENDS and you can trust hope i hepled!
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hey, well i think that you should have two seperate meetings. one with the old group and one with the new group. say to the old group "thank you for being there when i needed you the most, but im going to be making a lot of drastic changes and i hope that you will be there for me". just explain to them that your going to be a happy normal person just like them. as for the new friends, just basically sum up what happened to you. ask them to be there for you when you do have that relapse if your with them at the time. if your in that kind of mood and your suppose to be going out with your friends, cancell the date and explain why. they will understand. i wish you the best of luck : ].
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Your old friends aren't used to the idea of you being a happy person. Yea and you can't blame them for that. Give them some time to accept it. Don't immediately get antsy at the fact that they start feeling wierd bout the new refreshing you. Have you given them enough time? I doubt so.
Since they've been with you during your major life crisis, then they WILL definitely understand and accept you as you are and the changes that comes along within you. You just gotta give them a breather and let them adjust and fine tune themselves to the new you.
The thing is, do you at times fake yourself to be happy to the point where your old friends think that you're trying to cover up your sadness? So that's why they wonder if the happier you is really your new true self? As for the new friends you've made, yes, the same thing applies - they need time. I was in your position before. Whenver I tell them my problems, the either say "erm..hee" and give me a sheepish smile or they just look surprised. It's like that, don't worry too much bout it. Both sides will slowly accept the new sides that you are showing to them. Don't expect too much from them, just let it be. You prolly need to find the right time to tell your problems to your new friends.
All this knowledge comes with experience and you'll learn how to deal with such situations when the time comes.
I would be bugged by such problems but normally, I'd try to solve such problems by myself because I learn more things than when I ask people bout it.
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Wait, your old friends want you to be your old self? If they want you depressed constantly & attempting suicide all of the time, they're not your friends. And as for your new friends, they're probably never going to get it. They don't know what you've been through, or how your life has been because they've never experienced it for themselves. So you can't explain it to them, or make them see what's been going on. They're just going to have to accept you. If they can't do that, they're not your friends, and they never were to begin with.
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