i have a bigg crush on one of my good friends brothers. she knows, and she swears she doesnt mind, but i think she does. should i go for it with him, or lay off and respect the relationship i have with my friend?
rachyx0 answered Monday January 22 2007, 1:38 am: If you really have big feelings for this guy and think it could go far, take a chance and try to start a relationship with him, but before you do that talk to your friend and make sure she isn't going to like avoid you and stop talking to you if you go out with her brother. I doubt she will get that mad if you tell her how much you like him and how you think that you could have a great relationship with her brother and her at the same time. Make sure she knows that she will not be the third wheel, because that might be concerning her. Hope this helps<3 [ rachyx0's advice column | Ask rachyx0 A Question ]
MelLeDisko answered Monday January 22 2007, 1:10 am: Well, I would have a serious talk with her about this. The next time you guys are alone, just mention it once more. Be like,"I know you said you don't mind already that I have a big crush on your brother and everything, but I'm thinking about going for it with him, and I just want to really make sure you're fine with this." And see what she says.
If she says she's uncomfortable with it, then respect her decision. I know it'll be hard getting over him, but "chicks before dicks", as people've said. What's more important: some guy that you'll probably later break up with ( seeing as most teenage relationships don't last later in life ) or a friend who could be around forever?
But if she doesn't mind, and I don't think she does, go for it! Just rememebr: to divide time between her and her brother. Don't spend a bunch of time with one, without spending alot with the other cause if you spend alot of your time flirting with him and hanging with him; she's gonna start feeling ignored. So if she invites you over to hang, hang with her. Maybe drop by his room and say hi or something, but hang with her. If he invites you over, hang with him and say hi to her and everything. Or, dependign how close her and her brother are ; you guys could all just hang together!
the_sweeter_heart answered Monday January 22 2007, 12:49 am: Talk to her. Don't make it awkward, like pulling her into the girl's bathroom and start privately talking about it. It'll create an uncomfortable chatting place. Pass notes to her about it or slip a letter in her locker, saying something similar to this in your own words:
"Okay, I know you said that you don't mind about my crush on your brother and I don't want to annoy you about it, but I have a feeling you do. Please be honest with me because I'm your friend and I really don't want to dump our friendship over a guy. Tell me the truth."
If it turns out she really actually doesn't, then go for it. Flirt with her brother and do whatever you want with him...
But of course, if she does, well, friends before crushes. You adore your crush, but you love your friend (or, at least, your supposed to) so respect her feelings and try to get over the guy. Move on. I know it'll be hard, even though I'm making it sound simple, but there wasn't a relationship blooming yet, so stop your emotions before your hormones get it to.
khadiya answered Monday January 22 2007, 12:29 am: I would sit her down and ask her again. Make cinversation about it. Because I know i would not like it if one of my friends liked my brother. I would feel like she was using me if she didnt tell me about it in the first place. [ khadiya's advice column | Ask khadiya A Question ]
Krazy answered Monday January 22 2007, 12:23 am: Well if she says she doesnt mind then go for it. If you really think that she does mind then think it over. What is more important...Ur friendship with her? Or the crush that will not stay forever?
-Krazy [ Krazy's advice column | Ask Krazy A Question ]
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