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my family ):
13/f
HELP !!! im realy upset nad crying about htis right now. i have one b rother and 2 parents. now, my dad use tobe in the army andi guess u could say " rough and tough" he treats me llike a little princess..but wiht my brother(15) its definitly different. to start off; they havent gotten along well since my bro was 10.. and my brother tells my dad to shutup and my did gets angry and is like " im not going to take this bull**** from you anymore, who even says im suppose to love you?" and my brother doenst ac tliek he cares but hten he goes to his rom and cries nad no one knows this escept for me and my mom. and i aske dmy dad " dad, do u even like paul*" nad hes like " why should i, he doesnt like me so i dont lke him?" WHAT DO I DO ???? i can not stand seeing my family fight i cry at night. and if i could i would trade my life with my brothers just so he would be happy.. andi m also afriad he's going to try and commit suicide. i dont know what to do.
PS..my Dads Dad use to be an alcoholic* and abuse my father...
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Your father is probably repeating the abuse that he went through w/his father and passing it on to his son. This is not unusual. Your dad is doing what he knows and even if he isn't an alcoholic he was taught how to interact w/his son from his father. Alcoholics, like your grandfather, disassociate themselves from everyone including their family. The problem here is how to stop this behavior before it is passed on to your brother. I am very surprised that your mother has not intervened here. Is your father abusive w/her too? If she's afraid of him then there very well could be some kind of dynamic going on there that prohibits her from expressing her opinion to your father when needed. So, if you can't get your mother involved for whatever reason, you need to find another relative to talk to. Someone like an uncle, aunt, grandparent, preacher, or his best friend. Someone you know has your father's respect. You might go to this individual and tell them what you've told us today. If you can't find someone w/in your core family group then you may want to consider going to a councilor @ school. They would have resources for you to access. With the help of your councilor you could find the best route for your family.
You also may want to consider Syd's option which was an excellent one, and since your father treats you like a princess, I doubt he will do anything to you. You can use that advantage to get your father to listen to you. If he can see what his behavior is doing to his little princess it may wake him up to what he's doing to his whole family.
I wish you and your family all the luck in the world!!
Namaste!!
Pamela
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heyy...you can try to get your mom to talk to your dad about the situation since your mom knows everything as well. Or you and your mom can sit down with your dad and tell him everything. Hopefully eveerything works out for you.
-Krazy<3
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It is Ok calm down. All I can say is obviously, your brother does love your dad, and all and I know you may be scared to death to do this but stand up for him. When your brother goes to his room, and your father says " why should i, he doesnt like me so i dont lke him?" Tell him, if he doesnt like you then why is he in his room crying now!? And walk away. And leave it at that. Your father "should" come to realize how he is effecting your brother from that.
--Syd
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I think you should talk to your dad about it and tell him how you think your brother is feeling. And then talk to your brother about it too. And try to work things out. Try to also get your mom to help too. Tell him that you don't like it when they fight too. And try to talk to your brother and have him try to be nicer to him. I hope everything goes well.
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Talk to your mother. She's there, she knows your father and your brother, so she seems to be the closest one to help.
Talk to your brother about it - let him vent and share his feelings to you. I know it's not easy for guys to do that, but if you can reach out to him it would help him a lot.
And as for your father, I'm not too sure. Maybe he never had that father/son relationship when he was younger, so doesn't know/want to how to deal with it.
See if you can try to get your brother to treat your father differently, or better...just to see if that really is why your father treats him that way. Don't let things get to you that way. You didn't cause any of this to happen, so don't be too hard on yourself. Talk to your brother and be there for him. Hope that helped and good luck.
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ok, its obvious that your dad has gone through alot.
try talking to him about it.
tell him that it upsets you when they fight.
also if that doesnt help, try getting both of them and you to talk.
maybe even your mom, so the whole family can discuss it.
your dad and brother need to work it out.
also about your brother tell him you love him and that you care.
and that youre always going to be there for him.
maybe even that you need him there.
make him feel wanted.
this will take a little, of course not very much, of the depression away.
im very sorry about your situation.
i hope the best for you and your family.
hope i could help :]
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