|
Alcoholic
My mother is an alcholic. She wont admit this, but she drinks 3-4 times a week and gets wasted. How can I confront her about this? My stepdad agrees with me but will not do anything to stop her. What can I do?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Domesticity category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Parenting?
you can talk to your stepdad about doing somthing to make your mom stop her nasty habit
]
While I agree with the other posters - here is what I did.
First, I did let her know, and of course - she didn't agree.
Then, my stepdad and I locked up the cabinet where she kept the beer and drink. If she brough any home, I'd quickly pour it down the drain.
Eventually, she did get mad, angry and irrational - and it was a wake up call for her that she craved that drink.
]
I agree fully with the person who answered before me.
Get help as to how to set up an intervention with her, including you, your step dad, her friends, and anyone else who cares about her and wants her to see her problem.
Your step dad probably does nothing to stop her because, sadly, he can't stop her. Neither can you.
There is no one on this planet who can make your mom stop drinking other than your mom. She has to see and admit that she has a drinking problem, and she has to want to commit to stop.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Check out this link.
]
Hey, I know exactly how you feel (having experienced the same thing.)
No-one can stop her but herself. It hurts so much, but you can't make her stop. Your step ddad can't make her stop. Only she can.
Before she stops, she needs to recognise that she has a problem. It might be that she already knows it in her heart, but won't admit it to herself. Alcoholism is an illness, and part of the illness means that you lie to yourself so much about the addiction that you believe you don't have a problem. With my mum, she was drinking loads every day, but still wouldn't accept it.
So if you want to help her, you can try helping her to realise that she has a problem.
This is going to take a lot of patience on your part, because its the most frustrating thing.
I'd suggest that you start writing things down. Keep a sort of diary of when she drinks, and whatever details you know, such as what time of day it was, and how much she drank. Just keep writing things down.
Also, a common sign of an alcoholic is that they hide bottles around the house. Subtley, have a look for these. Try places like bathroom cupboards, under cushions on the couch, anywhere that you might want to hide something. If you can expose hidden alcohol, and just leave it out where she'll she it with a note that says "Mum, I found this today." She'll know you found it, and feel guilty, That helps her to recognise.
With the diary, when you have enough information to show that she has a problem, confront her with it. You might want to ask your step dad to help, but that depends on how he feels about the situation and your relationship with him. You might want him onside, or that might be impossible. Personally, I have a fear of confrontation with my mums drinking. Well, I used to, I've had to get used to it by now. But if you can't stand the thought of actually taking it to her and saying, "mum, you have a problem, look at this." Then you could leave it on her bed or something with a note. This is why I would do.
If you want to know any more about how I handled situations like this, or any more advice, or just to talk to someone who knows what you're going through, leave a message in my inbox and we can talk.
Take care, good luck xxxx
]
It doesn't usually work when teens or anyone for that matter confronts someone about their drinking problem by themselves. you see, the person with the problem believes they do not have one and may become unpredicatble if you (their child) does the confronting.
The best thing you can do is join Al-A- Teen (probably goofed the spelling) which is a group that helps teens deal with problems related to their parent or parent's drinking problems.
They will tell you how to handle your mother and whether or not an intervention or confrontation can be successfully acheived based on what you tell them about it. Your father also needs to get support to figure out how to handle this as well.
]
More Questions: |