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One Word: Bisexual
Long thing cut in half. I'm 14/f and I'm bi and I'm not out of the closet and I'm not planning to come out of the closet anytime soon. I have a lot of gay/bi friends and I love them to death and I don't mind. They're out and they're carefree and don't give crap about what others say. But all good things have the iffy side. Some of my friends are homophobes, my family is a huge homophobe, and the school..80% is homophobic. It's really hard to get along with people now that I'm in high school. Some people tend to tease me because I have so many nonstraight friends. One time a group of guys that make fun of me and my bff--who is gay--on the bus rammed me with their shoulders on purpose because I was friends with gay guys. Some people won't even talk to me. And it's really getting hard to keep up this little image where I look perfectly find and don't mind as long as I have my friends. I don't know what to do about that.
And also, one of my gay friends always goes "You're the only straight person in our group. We need to turn you bi" And I don't know what I'm suppose to say. I just laugh it off. But I'm already bi and I can't risk telling them because I feel intiminated and they're really gossip-y so heh no way. Some people ask if I'm bi also because I have so many gay/bi friends. ANd I don't want to say no but I have to or else it gets iffier.
So my questions are: what do I do with the school people situation and what do I say with the "be bi"/"Are you bi" statements said to me?
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ask Sabine SHE WILL Help i had the SAME problem and she gave me wonderfull advice
good luck
--ashley
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I know you don't want to, but the best thing to do right now is to tell someone. Preferably one of your gay friends. There has to be atleast ONE who won't gossip. When I was discovering my bisexuality, I felt horrible keeping it a secret from my friends. When I told them, it was a billion times better. It's hard being a teen as it is. EVERYBODY in high school feels alienated, even the ones who seem perfect. You need to rely on somebody.
For the people at school, seriously, just screw them. If they make fun of you, laugh it off. If they go further, tell them to stop. If they ever hand you a peice of paper and say, "Hey hon, give that to the teacher for me, okay?", rip it up and throw it away! I know, it seems really hard, but once you take the plunge, it really isn't! It's also fun.
And anybody who asks if you are bi...just say, "Why do you care?" Because, really, they shouldn't. It's your business ONLY.
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well im also sorta bi.. like.. i dont know yet. BUT all my friends know. they dont care. i dont see why people make a big deal about it. My parents are big homophobes too! so i dont tell them anything about that. i dont know like 50% of my school is gay or bi.. so i guess theres a difference there. tell them to fuck off if they dont like it. show them youre not afraid of them. laugh at them when they make fun of you. just have a great time with your friends in front of them. they will leave u alone. these stupid ugly girls make fun of my all the time. its funny tho. so i laugh at them. and have a great time to show them i dont give a shit what they say and it doesnt bother me.
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don't let the other people at school bring you down because of what they say about you being friends with gay people. at my school i'm friend with a bi guy and a lot of the guys make fun of him. and then some people make fun of me because i'm friends with him, but all i do is take it and say well you know what you have your friends and i'll have mine.
since your not ready to come out yet, don't get pressured into it. but remember when you are ready, your friends will be there for you.
you said your family is homophobe, so what do they do about your friends? i'm sure that they aren't as homophobe as you think or else they wouldn't let you have those friends. and when you are ready to tell them, remember they are your family and they will always love you no matter what you do.
now for at school. if your friends say like we need to turn you bi just continue laughing and maybe add something like "ok have fun trying". and if other people ask you if you are bi say something like "well no, but why does it matter?". or something like "how does that affect you?"
good luck =]
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HA this is the exact same thing going on with MY best friend! here's what I would do about the school situation (if I was brave): I'd get up and defend her and myself no matter how many friends he has(make fun of him saying that you could be more bi and get more girlfriends and boyfriends you could ever get than him if you have to).
And if they are your friends, they'll understand you about being bi. Say that you don't show it and not as open about it than they are- no offense. Maybe you should refraise that sentence instead of saying it exactly cuz i couldn't find a say of refraising that without sounding offensive.
Forgive me for thsi advice because this question is totally different from questions that I usually answered and I answered this one because it's so similar to my friend's.
=) Hope I helped!
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Just tell people you are who you are and for the moment you are happy with that. You don't have to give direct answers, nor do you have to lie. You are not ready to come out yet and you should respect yourself for that. It is easy to say laugh it all off, but it is obviously getting to you at the moment. Try being a little enigmatic for a while. Give off an aura of being unique. Once you are ready to show yourself, be prepared for all the flack that will come your way.
Most parents will love you for the way you are and will eventually come around if they are having a problem to begin with.
Hold your head up at all times and believe in yourself. All the best.
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ok well i know you obiously arent ready to tell people and its okay. But anywho i think you should let it out soon because.I think you should stand up for what yourself. Yes many people laugh at gay people but there is always gonna be your true friends who are gonna accept you no matter what gender/s you are attracted to.
Just fu** what ppl say if they dont like it and talk smack screw dem but you cant hide your true self from people all the time.
If you are juss gettin ready 2 tell people about you being bi and are a little concerned about what people may say well i think you should just ignore the question or say "so what if i was??does it bother you??" or something like that.
That leaves things a little clearer yet confusing and people can think whatever out of it and they will stop askin you trust me.
well hope all goes good=]
take carezzz....
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