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Boyfriend.
My boyfriend knows that I HATE when he drinks. My mom used to be an abusive alcoholic. So he understands.
I`m spending New Years with him, and a bunch of his friends are over & their playing video games. I was taking a shower, and when I got downstairs I was in the kitchen and I overheard his room mate say, "Go get a beer!" & My boyfriend was like, "Well, you know... I just can't. The girlfriend!" So now I`m mad because I`m sitting upstairs in his room being bored while everyone else is downstairs enjoying themselves. I don`t want to be around a drunk & I hate it. I just don`t fit in either. I`m 16 & my boyfriend is 22. =[ Not a good combo. Is it okay that I`m mad though?
Thanks a bunch.
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First, you're not old enough to be dating a 22 year old. That's too much of an age divide... any 22 year old who'd date someone who's 16 is behind, somewhere. Sorry to say it but it's true.
Second, no matter how much you hate alcohol you're going to have to learn to get along in a culture where it's at every party. You can't avoid being around people who drink. Yes, sometimes people will get too drunk and lose control and it's a good idea to leave, but there are also millions of people who enjoy drinking responsibly in social situations and they're not bad, and you shouldn't avoid being around them. You can't be antisocial because alcohol isn't for you, go hang out and quit being bored and don't think about it so much!
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What exactly are you mad about?
He turned down the drink, and instead of thinking "Well that was sweet of him. I know he likes to drink, but he respects me enough not to do it because it makes me uncomfortable." You got upset and pouted in your room. You punished him for doing a good, respectful thing!
Am I missing something here?
You can't forbid the boy from ever drinking agian. That is not right, not fair, and a very good way to find yourself single. You can ask him not to drink or be drunk around you. That he has done. Sounds like a nice guy to me.
If you don't want to be around his friends if they are drinking, then you need to leave. You don't have any say in what they do.
I honestly don't understand why you didn't trot downstairs, kiss your boyfriend on the cheek and say "Thanks honey. It's really means a lot to me that you'd pass up a drink to make me happy."
You have had a bad experience with alcohol. I can understand and appreciate that. But it doesn’t mean you get to punish your boyfriend every time someone around him mentions beer. You have to respect him and have more compassion for him then that. Being mad at him because his roommate mentioned beer is just irrational honey and that is something you need to work on.
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Its fine youre mad..you have every right to be. But, you need to make a choice. He's 22! Obviously, you know when theres that big of an age difference theres going to be other differences too. Also, if you dont want to drink you cant really FORCE his friends not to. You can talk to him about it, but it seems like he knows. You said he knows that you HATE when he drinks. And didnt he reject the whole beer idea? I think you need to make a choice.
a) Break up with him. If he drinks and you really cant be around him, choose not to be around the alcohol.
b) Only hang out with him alone. Its probably not a good idea to hang out with him and his friends because guys change with their friends. And no matter what, his friends are gonna drink.
c) Talk to your boyfriend and risk the chance of him thinking youre annoying/immature/nagging him.
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what exactly are you mad about? you told your boyfriend you hate when he drinks, and he isnt drinking, and on new years eve no less, alcohol is the turkey of new years. are you expecting him not to ascociate with people who drink either? you are walking down a dangerous road when you start telling him who he can and cant be friends with. im not gonna comment on the age gap, im sure youve heard it all before.
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It's fine that you're mad. I don't know what tone he spoke in whe he said he couldn't get beers because of you but if you think of he, he is showing that he respects what you want by listening to what you want and not his guys wants. But anywhos, don't be so mad at him. Tell him thanks for not getting drunk, etc. Happy New Years!! In 3hrs anywayy...
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i think its ok that you're mad. You really need to find someone your own age and who won't drink. If your really bugged about it, confront him about it. If he really loves you, he'll stop completely.
Hope I helped!
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