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Family/friends Forcing Opinions
Ok I dont mind if people (mother, fathers, sisters, brothers, etc) have their own opinions but I dont like them forcing them on someone else (meaning me). Any suggestion(s) on how I not get upset when someone (meaning a family member) does that to me?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Don't flare up instantly when you sense that they are forcing their opinion on you.
Think bout this first.
1)Why are they forcing their opinion on you? Is it for your own good?
2)Or are they just being narrow minded and refusing to take a more objective view on the issue?
If its (1), always listen to them. Parents are, most of the time, correct.
But if its (2), you should really stand up to your own opinion and stick to it. You don't have to get mad at them. Reason with them and be persuasive. If they still refuse to budge, leave it. Don't continue the conversation if voice levels are starting to rise. Walk away when you start to get really mad and go cool down.
You have to keep telling yourself: No one other than yourself can force you to change your mind. There's no need to get upset. If you get upset, you'll be unable to think rationally and when you flare up, your folks will think that you are incapable of handling your own affairs; and it'll convince them even more that they should handle your life.
If they're being downright unreasonable
*keep cool
*reason it out
*leave it to them to accept or reject
*carry on with your beliefs
If they're correcting you to make you a better person
*keep cool
*try to compromise
*understand where they're coming from
*improve yourself
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I think everyone answered this well, I just wanted to throw in my 2 cents. I have had a fair amount of experience with what you describe, particularly recently with an older work collegue. I know how hard it can be not to get furious with people when they keep crossing the line.
Everything the others said applies of course. You can try to tell them to back off, to respect you etc. This may or may not work though. I tried something similar and got "But, Alan, you must be reasonable... " and then he began the argument/sermon all over again.
The best weapon against these people in my opinion, is relentless cold hard logic. Ignore challenges to trivial opinions, and choose to make a stand when something important comes up. Be prepared, have your facts in order, and defend your point of view. Practice the argument in your head before hand and try to anticipate what they will say (with family members thats often easy).
I have found that this works well, if one is able to win the arguments (for all kinds of people execpt those that argue just for the sake of argument). Usually they think twice before doing it again.
Anyway, those are the only two options as far as I can see (and both are pretty good in different cirumstances). Either tell them to respect you as an individual and to accept your opinions (and point out that you have, in the past, shown them this respect), or take them head on.
As for how you feel, just remember that no matter how much they push you, they havent really achieved anything. They can talk all they want, and they can try to mold your opinion, but as long as you are aware of this, they are just wasting their time. In fact, you could even tell them this and see what they reaction is. Just remember to always keep your cool, its important not to let them know they are getting to you.
Good luck.
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everyone has an opinion on something and no one can force their opinion on you. there is no reason to get upset about it. all you have to do is say i hear you but i disagree then walk away. if it is your parents and the opinion you;re talking about is that they think you should do your homework than you need to know the difference between an opinion and an expectation. you need to do those things that are expected of you whether you agree with them or not because that is the way the system works. everyone has expectations. you expect your parents to provide food and clothing they expect you to do certain things . but your opinions are your own and no one can force theirs on you, but it is good to listen because sometimes someone elses opinion is better or smarter than yours since no one , not even you, is perfect
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Just talk to them telling them that you are your own person with your own opinions. Then they probably won't force as much as they used to. If they still do that then just remind yourself not to get mad and upset because nobodys perfect and will do what they want to because they have there own choice too. But parents always know whats right for you so you need to listen to what they have to say.
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Kindly explain to them, that you are an independent person and you have your own opinions of things and they have theirs. Say you are willing to accept their differences in opinions if they are okay with yours. ;) But if it's your parents, understand that they know what's best for you in most cases and are only trying to influence you because they may have been independent during that age too. They want you to make the right decisions and they aren't trying to agrivate you. If you feel, they are really getting under your skin with this maybe you shouldn't go out of your way to say what your opinion in something is. If you are standing up for what you believe in--don't keep those thoughts quiet! Let the world hear them! Your parents will eventually understand you are your own person and cannot be kept under their influence forever.
Hope I helped. <3
-Lauren
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